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Fuck, I’m going crazy over here.
I sink down onto the couch in the living room, my eyes darting to the clock every few seconds. What’s taking so long?
I close my eyes, yearning for the sound of Lil’s voice when she sings along to her favorite songs while baking cupcakes in the kitchen. Or the sight of her fast asleep among stacks of books in the library—a room I added to the apartment for her because I know how much she loves to read. The way she sits on my lap while sewing…
Being with Lil feels effortless in a way nothing else does. Her laughter brightens even my darkest days, while her smile alone is enough to ease the tension in my shoulders.
I lounge back on the couch, my body still aching from the fight. What would she say if she saw me like this?
Maybe I don’t deserve her. Maybe I never did. But the thought of letting her go… it’s like contemplating cutting off a limb.
I’ve faced boardrooms full of sharks, made million-dollar decisions without breaking a sweat, but the idea of losing her reduces me to a nervous wreck.
Chapter 42
Lilian
“Three chocolate milkshakes. Three cheeseburgers with fries, medium-rare, one with extra cheese, and one without tomatoes.” Landon holds up three fingers.
The waitress scribbles down our order and disappears behind the counter.
I fidget with my napkin, avoiding eye contact. To be honest, I miss Sebastian. Everything is easier with him. And I would like to take a shower, ridding me of Jason’s disgusting touch.
Levi clears his throat. “Lil, about what happened back there…”
“Please.” My voice is strained. “We’ve talked enough in the car. I just want to forget it.”
“Okay.”
“It’s been too long since we’ve done this,” Landon says.
“We got older,” I say.
Back then, Uncle Marc used to take us to the diner for our birthdays. It wasn’t fancy, just a regular diner, but that’s what made it so special, and the owner always made chocolate shakes with marshmallows for us.
“So, how’s everything back home?” I ask.
“Work’s been a bitch lately.” Levi rubs his eyes. “This latest case has me pulling all-nighters. The Chief’s breathing down my neck, wanting results yesterday.”
I nod. Being a homicide detective is no joke.
“Anne’s redecorating our whole apartment,” Landon says. “And Uncle Marc’s been up my ass about the company.”
A knot forms in my stomach. “Is he here, too?”
Landon scoffs. “Marc wouldn’t accept an invitation from the Barrons if his life depended on it. Not even from Sloan.”
The waitress returns with our shakes. I take a long sip, the rich chocolate a welcome distraction. I missed this.
Landon’s eyes set on me. “We’re here because we haven’t seen you in ages. And well, Anne might have had something to do with it.”
I wince. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited more.”
“That’s not what we’re upset about,” Levi says softly. “Why didn’t you tell us about Sebastian?”
I fiddle with my straw, avoiding their gazes. “It’s been complicated.”
“Do you still love him?” Landon’s question hangs in the air.