Page 73 of Closer

“Don’t what, give a shit about what happens to my lead guitarist? To a member of our band?” He gets up and follows. “You and I have had a lot differences lately but that doesn’t mean I want you dead.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re a drama queen.” I laugh without humour.

“Did you even stop to think about Ali? And how worried she was?”

“Did you stop to think about why Ali was thinking of me on her honeymoon?” I counter. I can’t help it. I don’t even know where it came from because the truth is, until today, I haven’t thought about Red in weeks. The intended blow hits hard though, just like I knew it would.

It’s so goddamn easy to push Cooper Ryan’s buttons. He takes several steps towards me and I don’t back down. I don’t know why I can’t let this go. I’ve already let Red go, so why can’t I leave them be? I just have to keep driving the knife in my bandmate’s back.

“Knock it off,” Zed says, standing between us. For a passive, he’s pretty damn frightening when he wants to be, but it’s mostly just due to his size. I doubt Zed’s ever hurt a living being a day in his life.

I raise my hands in a warding gesture and sigh. “Tell Red I’m sorry, but I’m doing okay.” Coop frowns, just a small twitching of his brows and then he nods. “Listen to the demo. Let me know what you think.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah ... I got some shit to take care of, but I’ll be back when you guys decide what you want.”

“You don’t have to go,” Coop says, “Let’s jam, work out some of this stupid fucking tension.”

“I can’t.” I back away.

“Levi,” Ash warns.

“I’m good. Really, I am, but I can’t be here when you listen to it.”

Ryan’s brow creases. “How the fuck do you expect to play it then?”

“I can play it. I just can’t hear it.”

He glares at the flash drive in his hand. “Every song on this demo is about Ali, isn’t it?”

“Not all, there’s one about you too. It’s called, ‘I Wish You’d Get the Clap and Die, Motherfucker’.”

Coop smiles. I take a deep breath. “Tell her she doesn’t need to worry about me anymore.”

“Okay.”

I wrinkle my nose. “I gotta split before you decide you wanna hug it out.”

“Probably not going to happen.” Ryan laughs.

“Yeah well, you weren’t going to marry Red any time soon either, but look how that turned out.” I shrug and turn to the other guys. “Let me know what you guys decide.”

“Okay, dude,” Zed says, pulling Deb back into his lap. Her brother makes a disgusted face.

“When are you coming back?” Ash asks.

“I don’t know, but I won’t leave the country.”

Not yet anyway.