Page 86 of Closer

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD DRUG ADDICT

LEVI

“Jesus, you’re a selfishfucking cunt!” Ryan’s face is all pinched up as he stalks into my room as soon as I’m allowed visitors.

“Do I need to call security?” The nurse stationed in the chair across from me looks up from her magazine.

“No,” Ali says. “That’s enough, Cooper.”

“Is it? Enough?” He snaps his attention back to me. “Did you ever stop to think about how this would hurt us, the band, or Brie? The woman you love just pulled your lifeless body from a fucking bathtub!”

“Where is she?” I choke through my scratchy throat. Looks like I won’t be providing backing vocals any time soon, or ever, with the razorblades lodged in my throat.

“Gone, motherfucker! Where the hell do you think she is?”

“This is your last warning. Rock stars or not, tone it way back, sir, or I will kick you out of my hospital room.” My nurse glares at Coop, who grits his teeth so hard I can hear them grinding from here.

“She went back to Paris?” She didn’t bother to wait around to see whether I lived or died?

“You broke her heart, Levi. You’ve done some truly f ...” Ali glances at the nurse whose brows are raised skyward. “Messed up things. Selfish things. Ash wasn’t even in the ground before you tried to kill yourself.”

I tug at the restraints holding me to the bed, ensuring I can’t do anything to hurt myself again. They don’t realise I already did the worst of it. I lost Brie. “I wasn’t trying—”

“Oh really? So you didn’t know that swallowing Oxy with a whisky chaser while you laid in a bath full of water would kill you? Don’t. Cut the bullshit.” Ali shakes her head and Cooper wraps his arm around her waist. “Stop lying. To us, to her, to yourself. Ash’s death wasn’t easy on any of us, but we don’t get an out. Not when he didn’t have the chance to stay here.” She’s sobbing now. Cooper tries to pull her back, but she breaks free of his arms and shouts, “You don’t get that option!”

The nurse gets to her feet and Cooper grabs his wife’s arm and drags her from the room. And then I’m alone with a red-rimmed-eyed Zed who hasn’t said a word since he entered.

“She’s right.”

“Zed, I—”

“You need to leave, sir.”

“Get help, Levi, or you’re out,” Zed says, and I just laugh, because when your friendly neighbourhood drug addict is telling you that you need help, you know you have a really big fucking problem. He holds my gaze as the woman pushes him towards the door and I do the only thing I can.

“I’m sorry,” I say.Too late. Always too fucking late.