Page 8 of Closer

I shut out the cold, but inside, the sounds of my bandmates aren’t muffled by the street, or the traffic, or the soft thud of my feet against the snow drifts. In fact, it’s abundantly clear that I have the room next to Ali and Coop, and the two of them are going at it like rabbits. I fall onto the bed and watch the wall as if it were a window into their suite. I don’t need a window to know what they’re doing though. Right now, he’s buried balls deep inside her. I know because while she may be trying to keep quiet, the headboard slamming against the wall is making enough noise for the both of them.

I bury my head in my hands. My heart is being pulled from my chest, slowly, one long strand of muscle at a time until there’s nothing left. A sharp rap on my door startles me, and Ash peeks his head in.

“Hey,” he says uneasily and stares at the wall, where the hanging picture starts to bounce in time with their movements. “You wanna hit the gym with me?”

“Actually, I was thinking of waiting till it’s my turn,” I deadpan. Ash blanches, because he never was great at seeing the funny side of things. “I’m kidding, fuckface, of course I want to get out of here. I’m not doing the gym. You and I are finding a bar and pickling our livers until they cry uncle, like old times.”

“Okay.” He nods, and I’m surprised convincing him to ditch his health kick was so easy.

“Where’s Zed?”

“He took off with Deb. She said she had some last-minute shopping to do.”

I raise a brow. “On Christmas Eve?”

“I think she’s just as happy about the Coop and Ali sleepover as you are.”

“Can’t blame her, I guess. It’s one thing to hear your ex-lover fucking her new fiancé, but it’s an entirely different thing hearing your brother and your friend go at it like rabbits.”

“Fiancé?” Ash asks.

“Long story.” I climb off the bed and grab my wallet from the nightstand. “Lead me to the booze, and I shall regale you with my worst fucking nightmare.”

“Jesus, I can’t wait,” Ash says as he tosses my jacket at me. I put it on, slip into my boots and grab a scarf. Then I follow him out of my room, through the apartment and into the hall, where our front door slams with the finality of my heart breaking in two.