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“But you did. You knew how scared I was, how much I was struggling, and you used that to—”
“To what? To comfort you? To show you that you’re not alone? That I’m here for you, no matter what?” He steps closer, his hands coming up to cup my face. I flinch, but he doesn’t let go. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”
I stare up at him, my heart racing. His touch is gentle, his eyes sincere. But the doubt lingers, a poison in my veins. I need to stand on my own two feet.
“I don’t need you to save me, Sebastian.” My voice wavers, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m not some broken thing for you to fix out of guilt.”
“I know that. Believe me, I know.” His thumb brushes over my cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear. “But I want to be there for you. In whatever way you’ll let me.”
I’m terrified of how much I crave his touch, his comfort. It’s too easy to fall back into old patterns, to let myself depend on him. But I can’t ignore the nagging doubt in the back of my mind, the fear that he’s only doing this out of pity or guilt.
I back away, needing to separate myself from him. “I think… I think it’s best if we focus on being roommates. Can you do that?”
Chapter 32
Lilian
Roommates.
Ever since he agreed to that. We are just that.
Roommates.
The warmth from the oven caresses my cheeks while the tiles under my bare feet are cool. I take out the first batch of muffins and let them cool before transforming them into beautiful cupcakes.
Over the past month, Sebastian and I have fallen into an easy routine. In the mornings, he makes coffee and breakfast before going off to work. Later, I wake up, eat what he made, and head to the library. Then I come home, cook dinner, and bake or read.
The library is now my favorite place. Without the sewing machine. That one is tucked away in the farthest corner possible in this apartment.
I sway my hips to the beat and mouth the lyrics to Taylor Swift, cracking eggs into the bowl, whisking vigorously. The scent of cinnamon and brown sugar wafts through the air.
I glance at the clock. Sebastian should be back any time. Usually, he comes home and buries himself in his study. I don’t get why he doesn’t stay in the office, but maybe his study is more comfortable. However,sometimes, if he comes home earlier, he rolls up his sleeves to help me cook.
During dinner, we casually chat about our day and then retreat to our separate rooms, only to do it all over again.
Just like roommates.
Living together, but not really living together.
And every time I’m close to him, he distances himself.
Roommates.
I’m starting to hate that word.
The old apartment is tidied up, and I could go back if I’m honest, but then I would be alone again. Gem is with Elijah, and Mary is with Connor. We often meet up for coffee or dinner and still do our occasional movie nights. Living in the same building helps.
Besides, Sebastian already moved my books and the rest of my stuff into his apartment. It almost feels like our apartment.
Our.
Apartment.
It’s strange.
A smile tugs at my lips, and I scoop the batter into the second muffin tin.
Saying it feels—