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me how to block out unpleasantness. She told me to

count until I was so tired, I would fall asleep again.

Reluctantly, because I begged her, she would leave a

light on in the bathroom.

"One night nearly two weeks after the

disastrous party at Kelly's and all the questions and

lying, I heard my door open and close and my father

stood in the darkness at my bedside.

"'What's wrong?' he asked 'I thought I heard

you cry out when I came up from getting myself a

glass of milk.'

"He did that if he ever had any trouble sleeping.

He once told me that sometimes numbers from the

stock market keep playing as if he had a ticker tape

machine in his head as soon as he closed his eyes. "I just turned my head into the pillow until I felt

his hand on my shoulder and felt him sit on my bed. "'Something wrong with my special girl?' he

asked. I couldn't help myself. I started to cry again.

He stroked my hair and waited.

" 'What is it?' he asked. 'You can tell me. Did

someone do something or say something that upset

you?'

"'Yes,' I admitted in a small voice.

"'Yes what?' he demanded. 'It's better you tell

me,' he added.

"I swallowed down my tears and quietly told

him what had happened at Kelly's house. He listened

without speaking, but I could feel his eyes fixed

firmly on me, even in the dark.

"'Is it my fault?' I wanted to know. 'Am I bad?' "'No, no,' he said, and then he leaned over and

put his lips to my ear and added, 'There's good touching and bad. You shouldn't be afraid of the good