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there every day. I sat back on Kelly's bed and listened

and watched as they played music, smoked, drank

some more rum and Coke, always filling my cup as well. We devoured the pizza when it was delivered. I laughed a lot and for a while, I felt so happy and good. I especially enjoyed the girls' conversation when they made fun of the sisters and our life in the parochial school. For me this was like being in another country. I was shocked by some of the things

said, of course, but I tried not to show it.

"I didn't want to smoke, but they were all doing

it and it seemed impossible not to do something

everyone else was doing. Vaguely, I thought, my

mother was right about peer pressure. It is the

strongest thing, but I shook that idea out of my head

or to be more honest, the rum drowned it.

"Something happened in that confused brain of

mine. Suddenly, everyone looked so silly to me. I

started to laugh at the way Michael rolled his eyes

after sipping his drink and puffing his cigarette, taking

such care to look cool and sophisticated about it. He

raised his eyebrows into question marks and looked at

me, and then I laughed again and it felt like a dam had

broken. I couldn't stop giggling. That struck them

funny and they laughed too, which only made me

laugh harder until tears began to stream down my

face.

"Frankie suddenly sat beside me and slipped his

arm around my shoulders.

"'I better hold her before she breaks apart. She's

jiggling too much!' he cried and they all roared. It

seemed no one could stop the roller coaster. He held

me tighter and tighter and soon I could see the faces

of the other two boys change a little. They stopped

laughing and suddenly looked intensely interested in

me. Kelly, Talia, and Jill drew closer to each other