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I turned again, needing to be anywhere but here.

“That video! I didn’t mean it! I had forgotten I said it because sometimes I say stupid things that I don’t mean. Mostly because I’m a cocky fool. I thought you hated me. But I’d liked you long before then.”

My back was still toward him, and I closed my eyes. “Know when to give up, Theo,” I said, and walked away.

Chapter

thirty-two

SHORT BLASTS OF WHISTLES RANGthrough the air as I entered the gates, at the end of the football field, surrounded by my friends. They hadn’t left me alone since the day before. I received texts every five minutes all afternoon from at least one of them, and then Deja had showed up at my house about eight o’clock telling me she was sleeping over. I wanted to pretend I was fine, but I wasn’t. I had collapsed into her arms and let her talk trash on Theo and Jensen all night. It didn’t help. I had cried a lot. But today I had to switch the hurt to anger or I wouldn’t be able to function.

Groups of guys were being directed to lines.

“Don’t be nervous,” Max said. “You’re trying out for special teams, so you won’t have to do all the tackling drills and things. Just the stuff you’ve been practicing.”

I looked at him, wanting to ask him how he knew that, if Theo had been texting him things to say to me, but I didn’t need to. It was obvious. He just gave me an innocent expression.

Coach Wallis glanced our way, said something to the assistant coach next to him, then went back to directing the players. I couldn’t make out Jensen in the sea of helmets, so I wasn’t sure if he saw me yet, but some of the guys were looking.

The assistant coach jogged our way. “Spectators in the stands, please.”

“Yes, sir,” Maxwell said, and the three of them gave me a combination of side hugs and hand squeezes before they headed for the bleachers.

I didn’t move, and the coach gestured to the stands.

“I’m trying out for kicker today,” I said.

He studied my expression as though waiting for the punch line.

“Where should I go for that?” I asked.

Coach laughed, but when I didn’t join him, he cleared his throat and said, “Oh, for real? That’s…actually pretty cool. You any good?”

“Yes,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

“I’ll have you talk to Coach Wallis, then. We need to get you some gear. I’m Coach O, by the way. And you are?”

“Finley Lucas.”

“Good luck, Finley.”

The head coach, Mr.Wallis, wasn’t as quick to be convinced. He stared at me for a long time after I told him I wanted to try out. Eventually he asked, “Why? Is this some publicity stunt or something?”

“No, it’s not. I’m good, Coach,” I said. “Give me a chance to prove it. I’m not asking for any favors. Just the same chance as everyone else here.”

He clapped once. “All right. Let’s see what you got.”

After gearing up, he directed me to a line, and I joined it.

There was some shuffling to my left, and then Jensen was beside me. “What are you doing?” he asked. His eyes were fire.

“I think I’m going to try out,” I said, patting my helmet. Those were the same words he’d used on me in front of the recording studio. They were burned into my memory because of the shock surrounding them. I wondered if my words would be burned into his memory now.

“Wh-what? What do you mean? For football? You can’t.”

“It looks like I can,” I said. He didn’t know yet, I realized, which specific position I was trying out for. All the anger I had been feeling toward Jensen for the last several weeks was combined with all the anger I was now feeling toward Theo. I was burning with rage. I felt powerful, like nothing could stop me.

NEVER HAD I BEEN MOREgrateful for the last month of butt kicking than I was today after being put through football drills. I was running and hitting standing pads and doing fast feet in and out of the squares of rope ladders lying on the grass. All while wearing bulky pads and a helmet. That wasn’t exactly new. Theo had been making me kick in pads and a helmet this last week. I felt hotter today, sweatier, but I was keeping up. Not just because of the conditioning that I’d been doing, but because therewas adrenaline coursing through my body that the day had finally arrived.