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My heart leapt in my chest.

He looked at the ground and popped one eyebrow. I had taken a step back when he was talking with his friend. Things seemed to click inside his head because he said, “You don’t want anyone to know about us?”

“No, I…I wasn’t sure whatyouwanted. And I didn’t want everyone to think I was only with you because of…”

“Are you?”

“No!”

“What doyouwant?” he asked.

“I…” I thought I was done caring about what people thought. That I was trying to be more authentic. I knew how I felt and why I felt it. It was time to stop worrying about how everyone else would perceive the things I did and start doing what made me happy. “Ilike you. A lot.” I closed the distance between us, grabbed hold of the straps of his backpack, and used them to pull myself up onto my toes. It wasn’t some passionate, tongues-blazing kiss. Just a soft, simple touching of lips. And yet my whole body reacted, every hair standing on end.

The late bell rang, and we pulled apart.

A group of people walking by were staring. I recognized one guy as one of Theo’s friends from the library. His eyes tracked back and forth between us, and then he laughed. I averted my gaze.

“You didn’t tell your friends either?” I asked.

“I told my friends,” he said. “They didn’t believe me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“After the way you ran out of the library that one day, they figured you weren’t a fan of mine. I mean, technically speaking, you weren’t.”

I laughed. “Yeah, that day I wasn’t.”

He smirked. “See you later?”

“Yes.”

Theo mumbled something about Jensen that I couldn’t quite make out, and then he was gone. I scanned the area, but there was no Jensen. He must’ve known, like I did, that with a school full of gossip lovers, Jensen would find out about our kiss before the day was over.

Chapter

twenty-nine

I WAS RIGHT; JENSEN FOUNDout I was kissing Theo Torres sometime between first period and podcast class, because when I went inside and sat down, he sat down next to me.

“What, Jensen?”

“You really have to ask?”

I stood up and walked around the table to Nolen, deciding to ignore Jensen. “Hey, I was wondering if we could have a refresher on editing techniques for ambient noise reduction.” I’d thought I had this down, but it was time consuming and I wondered if Nolen had any shortcuts for the editing I had to do later.

He answered, “Sure, no problem. That’s not your responsibility on the podcast, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, of course. More for my personal podcast. And I think everyone could benefit from it,” I said, thinking about how Jensen probably hadn’t thought once about how heavy he breathed while talking into the mic.

I started to turn away when Nolen said, “Finley, I haven’t gotten your bid for a regular feature idea for next year’s podcast.”

That’s because I hadn’t thought of one. “Um…I was thinking about…” My mind was all over the place. “Sideline interviews during and after high school sporting events.”

Susie, who must’ve been listening from her spot at the table, said, “Ooh, I like that one.”

Nolen gave a slow nod. “I like it too. You could commit the time to watch games?”

“Right, I…” I wanted to say yes. Maybe this would help me get an internship. But suddenly it occurred to me that I couldn’t watch the most popular sporting event our school had—football. Because if all went well, I’d be a player. Maybe my need for revenge was waning, because suddenly I wanted to say that, yes, I could. If I was being true to myself, authentic, even though the thought of live interviews scared me, that’s what I wanted more. My heart pumped so hard I could feel it in my throat and temples.