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Did I? Is there more I could do to change my mom’s mind?

“Circle up, team,” Coach Hartl says, dropping the boxes. “Cold weather gear is here.”

Heat fills my gut. I never turned in my money for the gear because, well, I didn’t have the money. I sincerely debated handing over Monopoly money to Coach Hartl with hopes that she would think it was funny enough that I could just slide by on it. My grandma used to say that I’d need to be charming in life to get things I wanted, but I’m not sure that’s what she meant.

She begins calling girls’ names and handing out their matching red-and-black track jackets and pants, a total of seventy-eight dollars each. I guess I’ll just be cold.

Kayla stands next to me and nudges my arm. “Did you get enough money?” she whispers.

I debate just laughing hysterically, but that would only draw attention to me and my lack of cute cold weather gear. Corrine steps forward to get hers.

“I didn’t have it and I couldn’t ask my mom for it,” I say. “Not after she had to pay for my uniform to get altered.” Because society punishes fat people for being fat. Like a tiny bit of extra fabric really costs over fifty dollars more. My mom didn’t say a word, though, because of course she wouldn’t. She just coughed up the money, quite literally because some moments we’re running on financial fumes, and then told me how cute I looked in my uniform. The uniform I now own because I had to get it taken out to fit my stomach, thighs, and big boobs.

“I wish you would have said something. I still have extra cash from working at the grocery store this summer.” She leaves my side to collect her gear from Coach Hartl when she has to call “Kayla!” twice.

I send her a sad smile when she comes back. “Thanks, but I can’t start a new I Owe This Person Lots of Money list.”

“Sinclair,” Coach Hartl says.

I was really hoping to avoid everyone realizing I’m the only one without the new clothes, hoping to avoid my monetary woes being put on blast.

“Yeah?” I ask, drawing the attention of all the girls in front of me.

“Do you need a formal invitation to come collect your stuff or will this do?” She stares at me like I’m wasting her time. She holds a jacket and pants in her hand, extended for me to grab.

I hesitate, wondering if she thought it was a mistake that I didn’t order and ordered for me, and now she’s expecting payment. Kayla pushes me forward and I grab them.

“Thanks,” I say, staring at the clothes in my hands. The red perfectly matches our uniforms, but the black is a little diluted.

Corrine shifts beside me, but when I look at her, she avoids my gaze. Because she paid for these. I didn’t even mention that I couldn’t afford them. She just knew, which is awful in so many ways, but also really fucking sweet.

“Thank you,” I say quietly. Guilt heats in my gut. “I’ll pay you back.”

She shrugs. “Sure, if you want. It’s not a big deal, though.”

But it is for me. Corrine does stuff like this because she’s thinking of me, because she loves me and cares about me, and I do things like lie and sneak behind her back. Not anymore.

Thank god this will be over in two weeks.