Page 20 of You Can Make Me (Carnival of Mysteries #28)

Ten

C ooper

My hand was throbbing from my juvenile tantrum, but it was my heart that hurt the worst, seeing the pain in Denny’s expression.

I hadn’t even thought about my face since hugging my parents and Sam. No one had said anything. Mom hadn’t freaked out. I thought sure, it’s there, they see it, but no one was staring at it or anything.

The face I saw in the mirror caught me so off guard.

The glaring red mark on my forehead, the indented angry slash on my cheek. My mouth…oh God, it was horrible.

I thought of all the years I’d worn braces and retainers to have a perfect smile.

Regular teeth-whitening treatments were a part of my self-care, along with a carefully mapped-out skin routine, facials and waxing.

I’d prided myself that I hadn’t needed lip fillers to get the full look that both men and women desired, and I’d been blessed with a jawline and cheekbones that people paid good money for plastic surgeons to achieve.

There was no getting back to that Cooper, and once I’d been hit with that realization, a wave of rage rocked me so hard, I lashed out as if I had no control over my impulses.

This wasn’t the first hole I’d put in a wall, but the last one had been in my teens. I was in my thirties now and should have known better. Thank God I hadn’t broken my hand with that childish act.

And through everything, Denny was still here with his painstakingly calm voice, even when I knew he was scared to death.

I knew better than to say such awful things—to intimate that I wished I wasn’t alive—but I was a drama queen and always had been.

Looking at the haggard, shaggy, sliced-and-diced man with the deformed lip in the mirror had totally thrown me, but I knew now with certainty, I’d never be Cooper Harris, TV news reporter, ever again.

There was no fixing my face, so I’d have to get to work fixing the rest of me…and repairing things with Denny. Again.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked me.

He rested his elbows on his knees and looked…wrecked. As wrecked as I felt. I’d put him through hell, and it was time for me to know the truth so that we could bear this weight together, since he was determined to stay.

God, I didn’t deserve him.

“I remember getting hit on the back of the head. Getting dragged. He pulled out a cleaver? I remember thinking that was an odd choice.”

Denny chuckled, but it was a tired, rusty sound.

“What?”

“You would question his cutlery choices. What else?”

“I pleaded with him, sort of. I knew the crack on the head had done damage because words were hard. He said something like, ‘I’d say it won’t hurt but I’d be lying,’ and then he said, ‘You’re so pretty. Just like him. I’m gonna have fun taking your pretty away.’”

My eyes welled up, and Denny was at my side in a flash.

“Baby—”

“It’s okay. Let me get it out.”

“Move over,” he said, so he could slide in next to me. He put his arm around me and ran his fingers through my hair at the back, right over the scar tissue I had back there. He held my uninjured hand with his other on my lap.

“I remember being like, ‘Duh, Cooper. You have a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu and years of Muay Thai. Fight back!’ So I tried to knock him down, but he cut my forehead and I couldn’t see, then he sliced my arms, and while I knew I got a few good kicks in, it only excited him more.

Then he cut me deep, and I was flagging. And then…you were there.”

Denny looked down at our hands, and the scar on my forearm where my sleeve had been pushed up. The crease on his forehead was so severe.

“How did you find me?”

“I… I can’t tell you all of it. But it was Dee Dee who figured out where Holland was, and Walter, Dee Dee, and I were driving to find him.

We didn’t know he had you. Some of his guys tried to run us off the road, we crashed into a fence.

Dee Dee disappeared in the melee, and when we found him, he was trying to get Holland to leave you be.

Holland taunted us, and I was afraid to take a shot.

He was bent over you kinda, and he still had a hold of your collar, and there was a lot of chaos…

Before my first bullet even hit him, he’d slashed his own throat. He was dead before he hit the ground.”

“I remember he fell. And you…”

“I saw your shoes.”Denny’s voice broke and his cheeks turned mottled red. He wiped at an eye and blew out a breath.

“And you saved me.”

“I panicked, actually.” He laughed, wiping more tears away.

“Walter called in the EMT and Life Flight while I tried to stop the bleeding, but there was so much. So much that I couldn’t tell where it was all coming from, and your lips were turning blue.

Walter flagged down the paramedics, but I wouldn’t let go of you.

I remembered your blood type, it seemed really important to me that they knew that.

The helicopter arrived, and Walter had to drag me away. ”

He was trembling, his hands shaking.

“I’m sorry, Denny. What I said. I’m grateful, know that, please. I’m sorry I haven’t been more?—”

“It’s not your fault. This should have never happened to you. You shouldn’t have been there, and when I saw your shoes, I…”

He stopped to breathe for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.

“As terrifying as it was, holding you as you bled out, I think I was more afraid when I took you from the hospital and brought you here.”

“Why?”

“Because…I was terrified that I was going to mess up. That I wouldn’t be able to take care of you well enough. That I wouldn’t be able to help you through all of this. What do I know about feelings? I’m a Marine.” He laughed. “You chose a very bizarre nursemaid.”

“No, I chose well. I chose you. I will always choose you.”

We embraced in the cramped space of the banquette, and once more I wished we were truly alone.

He pulled back and held my face so gently. “Please don’t give up. Please, Cooper. You have so much to live for, so many people who love you. I love you.”

His mouth fell open, as if he hadn’t meant to say that, but I wouldn’t let him take it back.

I placed my hands over his and gripped them tightly. “Say that again.”

His face flushed and he swallowed hard, but he met my gaze. “I love you, Cooper. Please let that be enough.”

It took a lot to make me speechless, but his admission meant more to me than I could have adequately said in my current state.

“You are the most honorable person I’ve ever met,” was what I came up with.

“Honorable,” he scoffed. “I’m an old man, Coop. I’m fifty-two-years-old with a modest pension coming to me. I’m stubborn, and I’m not easy to be with, but I swear I want to take care of you as long as you’ll let me. As long as I’m breathing.”

“I love you, too.” I was blubbering so hard, I could barely get the words out. “I’m sorry that this is how we got back together, but I’m so glad.”

Denny closed his eyes for a moment and nodded, as if he were relieved and he’d just been given permission to “at ease” or whatever that’s called for Marines.

I’d ask him at some point. But right then, he cupped the back of my head and guided my lips to his for a thorough kissing, and I forgot everything but him.

His kiss felt almost like a reprimand, as if to say, “You silly man, how could you ever think we wouldn’t have ended up here?”

I took it all, every swipe of his tongue, every rasp of his stubble against my tender lips, raw from crying and carrying on. My scar twinged, but I wouldn’t have interrupted Denny if the RV started rolling down the hill and over a cliff.

We were still kissing softly when Mom tapped on the door.

“Can we come in?”

Denny pulled back and blew out a breath. “I’ll fix that hole,” he whispered. “I swear.”

“It’s okay. At least it wasn’t Mom’s antique secretary this time.” I hollered for them to come in, and when Denny started to let go, I pulled him closer, not wanting to leave the safety of his embrace. I tucked my head under his jaw and used his unique scent to ground me.

I felt him kiss the top of my head and rest his chin there. His arms were like iron bars around me, keeping me safe.

My parents stopped short, their expressions full of concern.

I sniffled. “Everything’s okay. Except for your bathroom wall. I’m sorry.”

The three of them slid into the booth across from us, with Sam on the inside, and they stared at us as if they didn’t know where to start with their questions.

“Honey, what happened?” Mom asked.

I laughed, and it came out raw.”At the risk of sounding like a bad punch line, I looked in the mirror.”

Mom frowned, and Sam put her arm around her.

“I forgot to ask you to cover it,” Denny said apologetically.

“Oh, son. I didn’t even think,” Dad said, his eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s okay. It needed to happen. I haven’t seen myself since the hospital, in the very beginning, when I still had stitches.”

“But you’re so much better?—”

“Mom, I know what I look like.”

She stiffened. “You look like my son. My brilliant, brave, compassionate son!”

Denny tensed, as if to brace himself for me to lose it.

Instead, I draped my legs over his lap and sighed. “Mom, I understand that’s what you see, but I doubt I’ll ever see myself like that again. I’m still figuring out how to navigate this.” I gestured to my face and rolled my eyes.

Dennis gave me a squeeze that was less comforting and more, “Let them have their say. We got this.”

“What do you plan to do next?”

I could rely on Dad to get down to business.

“I’m not sure. Up until y’all got here, I was being a troll.

I’m talking like a big boy now, but I can’t be trusted to make big decisions yet.

I guess the first step will be to see doctors, talk to my agent and my boss at the network, get serious about physical therapy, and…

go from there.” I snuggled closer to Denny and let my eyes fall closed.

That was a lot. The thought of all I needed to do made me bone tired.