Page 13 of You Can Make Me (Carnival of Mysteries #28)

He clicked off the trimmers and gazed down at me, not touching me, but not moving out of my grasp.

It seemed as if the world had stopped for a long moment, and we existed in this space where I wasn’t in pain, didn’t care that Denny could see all of my wounds, and where he still cared about me, not just as an invalid who needed his help but as a man who… cared for him so much.

Without taking his eyes off of me, Denny set the trimmers on the toilet seat to his left and placed his hands on my jaw, gently turning my face to look at his handiwork.

“I’m no expert, but I think it looks better. I can clean it up with the razor if you want.”

I licked my bottom lip. “I don’t think our guests care about my clean, close shave.”

He brushed his thumb over my jaw, and my lips parted, my eyes closed, and I moaned softly.

Denny froze.

He started to let go, and I held on.

“Denny? I want to ask you a question but doing it right now, while I’m naked, feels really scary.”

He blinked. “You want me to get naked too? Will that make it easier?”

I rolled my eyes and pinched his barely there love handle again.

“You being naked never makes it easier.”

He shrugged. “Depends on?—”

“Dennis. I’m going to ask, and I want you to be honest with me. Don’t answer how you think I?—”

“When have I ever been anything but honest with you?” he asked quietly. “Besides not telling you about my heart procedure?—”

“Do you think you could ever…want me again?”

A pained expression crossed his face, and I let go of his sides.

Stupid, Cooper.

He grabbed my hands, and he squeezed them. When he spoke, his voice was tight—and it shook.

“What makes you possibly think I ever stopped wanting you?”

I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against his chest, exhaling from the depths of my soul. He still wanted me. The relief barreled through me.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You don’t deserve what happened to you.”

I sucked in a breath and looked up at him.“I want to deserve you.”

Denny brushed my hair back from my face, and I winced involuntarily.

“No, baby,” he whispered. He bent down and kissed my forehead, right where my scar was. The skin tingled, but it didn’t hurt much anymore. I was surprisingly okay with him kissing me there.

“Denny.”

“You are everything to me, Cooper. Why do you think I’m here, despite you trying to get rid of me every day for the past four and a half months?”

I huffed out a laugh to cover the thickness in my throat. His everything? “An overdeveloped sense of duty?”

“Don’t.”

I pulled my hands from his and looked away, but he grabbed my chin, firm but not rough. He forced me to look at him.

“Don’t dismiss me. Don’t try to play this off or act like I’m the one holding you at arm’s length. I only stay at arm’s length because I don’t want to cross a line you’re not ready for me to cross.”

He wasn’t mad, and he wasn’t pleading. His voice was so calm. How did he stay so calm ?

“I… I’m not dismissing you. I won’t. I should, but I can’t.”

That calm cracked before my very eyes.“Cooper, please.”

I pushed myself to standing, only wobbling a little. I used to feel on equal footing with him, mostly, because I was taller and I could nearly hold my own with him when we wrestled. But my body had been through so much, I’d lost so much weight, he seemed so much more than me.

I cradled his jaw and mustered as much strength as I possibly could in that moment.

“What if I want you, too? Can you forgive me? Can you see past this weak, ugly body and think of me as a whole man?”

He gripped my towel and pulled me to him in such a rush, I nearly lost my balance.

“I swear to God, Cooper, I’m going to disavow you of all that bullshit. You are whole. There’s not a weak bone in your body, nor anything even remotely ugly about you. There’s nothing to forgive, unless you don’t want me to kiss you right now, because I’m gonna.”

I sucked in a breath to protest, and he laid one on me, somehow managing to devour me yet not press too hard on the tender part of my lip. I had to wrap my arms around his neck to stay on my feet, as much from the intensity of his actions as the force of emotion behind them.

Denny had always been an assertive if not aggressive lover, but never in a domineering way.

For a man who kept his emotions under wraps for a living, he certainly understood the importance of safe release, and our tryst, while new and surprising for him at the time, had been safe.

Always safe. He knew I would take care of him, and that he could tell me anything.

Now, he was there to support me, one hand on my back, the other gripping my hip.

I’d assumed I’d never be kissed again, much less with so much need, and Denny needed. He’d been holding back so much to try to be good to me, but once unleashed, his hunger consumed us both.

My towel slipped off, and he groaned. He adjusted his hold, probably to avoid grabbing the scars on my ass.

I tried not to think about all the places I was damaged.

When he pulled away, my hand immediately went up to cover my mouth.

He’d overwhelmed me so thoroughly that I hadn’t had time to think about how kissing my scar would feel to him.

“Did I hurt you?” His eyes were wide.

“No, I’m…trying not to think about how I must look to you.”

“You have no idea how beautiful you are.”

I tried to look away but he gently guided my gaze back to his and kissed me again.

“I don’t know how you can believe that.”

“Believe it. What I can’t believe is that you chose this moment to have this conversation,” he whispered in a harsh voice. “I’ve tried so hard to tamp it all down, but fuck, Cooper. I’ve missed you. I want you so fucking bad.”

“Denny,” I breathed, as he trailed rough kisses down my throat. I loved it, but my heart was beating wildly out of control. “I’m seeing spots.”

He pulled me tight against him, wrapping his arms around my back, and buried his face in my neck, brushing his lips tenderly over the scar on my collarbone. That slice had gone so deep, the bone had been nicked. I flinched when his lips touched the spot.

“I’m sorry?—”

“No, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me.”

He blew out a breath. “No, I’m sorry I fucking called them to come.

Today. Fuck. I’m not done with you, but you need to shower and see your family.

Just know, when you’re ready, if you’ll let me, if you say yes, I will kiss every inch of you.

I’ll stop holding back. I’ll touch you all the ways I know you like until you stop with this nonsense of wondering whether I want you.

Christ . You’d better think about it. If you don’t want that to happen, you’ll have to tell me and mean it. ”

“Denny, I?—”

“Don’t say anything now. I want you to think about it. I’ll ask you again. I want you to be sure.”

I nodded. “Okay. Then you better let me shower so I can face the tribunal.”

“Coop—”

“No, it’s true. They need to know I’m not going to hurt myself. I swear, Den. I won’t. And if I feel like that changes, then I’ll talk to you. I’m sorry I worried you.”

He rubbed at his chest absently. “All right. Thank you. You sure you don’t need me to stay?”

“Okay, Trouble. My parents are out there, remember? And we both know I don’t have your stealth abilities when you’ve got your mouth on me.”

It was his turn to flush and look admonished.

In our brief time together, he’d made me scream multiple times from the way he worshipped my body.

For recently discovering he was bisexual, the guy had skills.

More than that, he had determination, which I’ve always thought overrides skill level when it comes to sex.

And I needed to stop this line of thinking.

He stepped back and gestured to the faucet. “Go on then. I’ll be out here taking a mental cold shower.”

I grinned and covered my mouth again. A cold shower was in order for me as well.