Page 33 of X’nath (Dark Orcs of Helfallow)

33

The Unspoken Truth

GRACIE

T he air between us was thick with tension, and I could feel the war raging inside my mind. X’nath’s hands were warm against the skin of my wrists, his grip steady, yet the grip on my heart was anything but. He was looking at me, searching for something I couldn’t give him—not yet. Maybe not ever.

I had to tell him. I could feel it in the way he was studying me, the intensity in his gaze, the way his presence consumed the space between us. He was waiting for me to open up, to be honest with him.

But how could I? How could I share the one thing that had broken me, the one thing I couldn’t bear to speak aloud? The very thing that haunts my nightmares though they have been fewer these days.

I couldn’t give him what he probably wanted most from me—what I’d always been afraid of admitting. A child. My womb, broken, useless. A woman’s worth measured by how many children she could bear. Wasn’t that what they always hammered into us? Each man down the generations, from family to strangers. The priests were no help after my miscarriage. They did nothing but deepen my guilt and shame, discreetly siding with my former husband.

X’nath was an orc, fierce, capable, the very embodiment of strength. And me? I was the woman who couldn’t give him a family. I could already see it in his eyes—what would he do when he found out? Leave me. It was a selfish thought, one that churned in my gut like bile, but I couldn’t help it. I’d been left before, battered and bruised and finally, left on a slave ship to be tossed away. I wasn’t sure I could survive it again, not if it meant facing this pain alone after all he had let me experience.

“I will find out, lak’osh, one way or another,” he murmured, his voice a low growl that sent a shiver through me. He wasn’t stupid. He could sense my hesitation, my walls. He was trying to break them, and I knew I had to face the truth before I lost all strength to do so.

But the words wouldn’t come. I opened my mouth, but the ache in my chest was too much, too suffocating. What if he couldn’t love me after this? What if this was all a cruel joke from the universe? I didn’t deserve him. I wanted to tell him, but my throat closed up as if a noose tightened around me, my demons laughing at my pathetic attempts to salvage what could never be.

“Gracie,” X’nath whispered, his voice so gentle, so unlike the usual gruffness that had become his trademark. One of his hands slipped from my wrist and caressed my face as if he were afraid I might break. “Whatever it is... you’re going to have to tell me.”

I closed my eyes, taking a shaky breath, wishing I could just say the words and get it over with. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I wasn’t ready to show him how broken I was, how unworthy I felt.

He must’ve sensed my hesitation, because the next thing I knew, he was kissing my jaw, down to my collar bone, slowly making me pliant beneath his ministrations. He undressed us both, right there on the forest ground, out in the open, pulling me against him. As much as I craved him to take me away, my mind was still racing with thoughts that plagued me like a disease that couldn’t be cured.

He slipped his cock into me and I gasped, gently pressing my hands against his naked chest.

Without warning, he turned us both, placing me on top of him. “Use me, lak’osh. Whatever is haunting you, take it out on me.”

My heart wanted to crack. How could he make me feel this way? Both larger than I was and smaller than I already felt. His large, strong arms gripped my hips and forced me to move, breaking me from my self deprecating thoughts. Pushing up from his chest, I did as he bade and began grounding my hips against his in a slow rhythm.

“That’s it, lak’osh. I was made to serve you,” he purred.

Before I knew it, I was lost in the motion, lost in the way he kept murmuring praise.

“Look at how well we fit together…”

“Don’t hold back. Don’t ever hold back. Give me everything, lak’osh. I deserve nothing less…” He sat up and wrapped his arms around me, enveloping me in his strength and solid embrace but never once letting up on his whispers against my flaming skin.

“You’re so beautiful when you take from me. My cock should always be inside of you…”

The walls I’d built around myself started to crumble. But still, I couldn’t let the truth spill out.

I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders, burying my face as my hips moved faster, my nipples rubbing harshly against his chest. Noticing my desperation to seek release, his hands cradled my ass and forced me to move faster, grinding my sensitive pussy against his groin.

His attentiveness, the way he worshiped my skin with his mouth, the way he watched my reactions—I threw my head back and cried out in pleasure as the first climax hit like a tidal wave, brutal and without mercy. My pussy pulsated, I whimpered and he laid me onto my back and began to pound into my flesh in a harsh rhythm. Right when I thought he was going to finish, he slowed himself down, latching his mouth onto my nipple and sucking it hard.

Another climax took over me, smaller this time but just as potent. My body tensed up and my ab muscles spasmed painfully as he continued his leisurely torture.

“I love the way you torture me,” he groaned.

“I hate the way you torture me,” I replied, moaning, knowing full well it was a lie.

He chuckled and began thrusting at an increased pace again. The aftershocks of the climax took me to the brink of pain and pleasure and the cocky bastard knew it judging by the size of his grin as he watched my facial expressions.

I knew he was close, I could feel the way his cock pulsed as he continued to slow his pace and speed up again. Self deprecating thoughts intruded once more, and suddenly, I couldn’t stomach the thought of him spending inside of me only to gain no results for his efforts.

Yes, the thought was stupid. Did it stop me from doing what I did next? No.

I turned us and he let me without much resistance, watching my next move curiously. He didn’t expect me to pull out and crawl down his body, kissing every inch of his battleworn skin.

“ Lak’osh, what are you?—”

“Shhh,” I cut him off, raking my nails down his sides, watching his skin pebble beneath my touch. “Let me take care of you , this time.”

I knew from the other girls that these orcs had never experienced fellatio, something not only prominent but heavily encouraged back in the human settlements.

It was the least I could do, after the mind blowing climax he gave me the first time we came together. And perhaps it was a strange way of me proving to myself that I had more to offer than just a womb for pleasure… for children.

His eyes widened comically as he watched me swallow the engorged head of his cock, swirling my tongue around the crown. The beads of metal were strange in my mouth but his orcish curses spurred me on. He tasted like me, but also like him, a heady combination that became intoxicating to the point that all irrational thoughts were drowned out.

And that was exactly what I needed.

I took him in deeper and watched the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The kind of power I held over him gave me the confidence I needed to run my hand along the curves of his muscles, exploring him freely out here in the open.

He leaned up on his elbows, watching the way I swallowed him down again and again. I made sure to make a show of licking along the slit of his opening, tasting him fully. He was in a trance as I continued working my hands alongside my mouth, squeezing his shaft, following the trail of my tongue. As his breathing became more shallow, I quickened my pace, taking him as deep as I could comfortably go, which wasn’t far because of his size. But it was enough. On the next pass, I kept my eyes on him and swallowed him down. His cock spasmed and with a groan, he released everything he had been holding back.

I made sure to take everything in, not letting a drop go to waste… and he had a lot to give me. He watched in awe as I milked more from him and swallowed every last bit until there was nothing left but to lick him clean.

Out of breath, I slowly fisted his dying erection, watching his reaction. The confidence I felt was short lived as he remained frozen in place, without a word. Embarrassment over my own desires began to cloud my judgment, and I tried to pull away, to shield myself from him. But before I could, he grabbed me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

“ Lak’osh… what are you doing to me?”

I let out a stuttered breath, unsure how to answer. His hand gently cupped the back of my head, guiding me to rest against his chest. I could feel the steady beat of his heart, the rhythm that was in sync with mine. In the quiet of the moment, his voice was a soothing balm against my raw nerves.

“You’re afraid,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Afraid I’ll leave you. Afraid of what happens next. But listen to me, lak’osh . You don’t have to be afraid. Not of me. Not of this.”

My heart fluttered painfully in my chest. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t. He wasn’t inside my mind, buried beneath the weight of a thousand fears. But he was trying. And that, somehow, was more than anyone else had ever done.

“You’re not broken,” he continued, his voice strong, unwavering. “You are everything I never knew I needed. You’re worth more than anything I’ve ever known. Don’t you see that? You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders. Let me carry it for you.”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I squeezed them shut, trying to force them back. I couldn’t let him see me like this—not yet. Not until I could find the strength to say the words that would set everything free.

“Gracie,” he said again, his voice gentle but insistent.

“I-I don’t know how, X’nath,” I admitted quietly.

The comfort in his words, the certainty in his embrace, made me want to crumble. But I couldn’t. Not yet.

And then he did something that nearly shattered the fragile hold I had on myself. He cradled my face, and kissed my tears, traveling along their path until he placed his lips on mine—soft, slow, as if trying to erase all the doubt, all the fear I’d held inside for so long.

In that kiss, everything seemed to stop. The world outside faded away, and all that remained was him and me. And for a moment, the ache inside me wasn’t so loud. The storm in my chest quieted, and the space between us grew smaller, until there was no space left at all.

“I don’t need you to be perfect, Gracie,” he whispered against my lips, his words a promise, a vow. “I just need you.”

And with that, the walls I’d built around my heart began to crumble. Slowly, piece by piece, they fell away. But the one thing I still couldn’t do was speak the words I needed to.

Not yet.

But I would. I knew I would, someday. And when I did, I hoped—no, I knew —he would still be here, holding me, loving me as if I was worth every bit of his time.

The fear still clung to me, but it didn’t feel as suffocating anymore. Not as overwhelming.

And maybe, just maybe, I could let him love me through it all.