Page 27 of Xel: Broken Bond

“That sounds very exciting,” Xel said, as he spooned the chicken and rice onto the plates. “We had many accomplished musicians in the training centre where I grew up. I loved listening to them perform. I miss that. Such a large concert must have been wonderful.” His voice dropped as he said the last word, his tone seeming to absolutely relish the idea, and he tossed a flirtatious grin over his shoulder at Leesha as he set the serving spoon aside. He picked up two of the plates and carried them to the table, setting Leesha’s down in front of her first, before giving me mine.

I ground my teeth at that.Iwas his master. Shouldn’t he be servingmefirst?

An instant later, I was cursing my own stupid jealousy. I didn’t want a servant. I certainly didn’t need my ego stroked.And Leesha was sitting closer to him anyway, so putting her plate down first was an entirely pragmatic gesture. It didn’t mean a damn thing. What the hell had gotten into me?

Xel sat down with his own plate of food, but the conversation continued while we ate. And despite my current burst of jealously, as I listened to them banter with each other, it struck me on a visceral level how much I’d missed this. Leesha or one of the other casuals joined me for dinner two or three times a month, but aside from that, I generally ate alone. But truth be told, I really liked having other people here to talk to. On a good day, I could ignore the silence, but on a bad day, it was like my tidy little house was a giant coffin, built to contain someone who had long ago given up on life. So listening to Xel and Leesha exchange stories about their favourite musicians was soothing in a way I’d almost forgotten I was missing…

Until Xel gave a low moan of appreciation when Leesha mentioned her love of drums. He closed his eyes momentarily and swayed towards her, his lips pouting just a little. “Drums are the best,” he crooned. “They’re so visceral. You can feel the beat, right through your chest.” He pressed his hand to his own muscular chest, looking doe-eyed at Leesha as she beamed at him.

Fucking hell, did everything he did have to be so damn sensual? Couldn’t he just say he liked drums, like a normal person? And why had he never looked at me like that? The fact that he’d only been here for two days was hardly an excuse, given that he’d met Leesha less than half a day ago. But he was looking at her like he wanted to crawl across the table and plant himself in her lap. I focused my attention on my plate, trying to ignore the blatant flirting going on right under my nose.

“I’m by no means an expert on the dimari,” Leesha said, a little while later. “But I’ve heard that you’re all trained in various specialty skills. Like one dimari might learn to be a pilot, oranother might be trained as a nurse. I guess that’s so people can buy someone who’s already fully trained for their intended role, right?”

Xel nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.” I felt a momentary discomfort with Leesha’s unvarnished description of the slave trade, but I moved past it easily enough. I knew perfectly well that she condemned any form of slavey – as did the entire Alliance – but as I was rapidly learning, if we wanted to have a sensible conversation with Xel about any of his training or expectations, it had to be framed in terms of his own role as a slave. That was the way he saw the world, and according to Aiden, breaking a dimari out of that mindset was impossible.

“So what wereyoutrained for?” Leesha asked. It came out so casually, in between bites of chicken; a bland query that strangers might ask each other to make small talk on a train.What do you do? Where do you work? What did you study at school?

But it struck me like a punch to the gut that I hadn’t even thought to ask Xel that question. Aiden had brought him here and I’d assigned him a role cleaning up animal shit, and for fuck’s sake, how had it not even occurred to me to ask Xel whether he was okay with that?

But I realised the answer a moment later. It was because Aiden had been so damned insistent that I couldn’t ask Xel what hewanted. It was a strange twist of mental gymnastics to phrase the question differently; not‘What do you want to do?’but rather‘What were you trained to do?’Because I knew damn well that my uncle hadn’tchosenXel for any particular skill set. He’d simplyfoundhim, and then done his best to wring every drop of labour out of him that he could.

“I was trained as an erotic companion,” Xel said.

I snorted the water I was drinking straight out of my nose.

As I coughed and spluttered, Leesha leapt up to grab a handful of tissues to help me clean up. Once I was able to breathe again, I dared to glance at Xel, concerned about how he’d be reacting to my response to his answer. He’d said this afternoon that he’d been taught not to feel shame for his status as a dimari, but at the same time, dimari were usually very sensitive to any sort of disapproval from their masters.

Xel was watching me with a look that was part demure composure, and part smothered amusement. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “Was that not the answer you were expecting?”

“No,” I said, my voice hoarse, and then I cleared my throat.

“My apologies,” Xel said. “I thought Aiden would have told you what I was trained to do when he dropped me off.”

“Uh, no, he didn’t,” I said, finally managing to compose myself. “I didn’t actually know that was a thing. So some dimari are trained to…”

“I’ve been trained in a wide variety of sexual skills. Role play, bondage, catering to groups. I’ve been taught to accommodate various fetishes. And erotic companions are particularly expected to work on their stamina. All dimari are taught to provide basic sexual services for their masters, but erotic companions take it to a much higher level.”

“I see,” I said. I glanced at Leesha, to find that she seemed as surprised as I was. That was unusual. She tended to be fairly difficult to ruffle. But Xel had somehow managed it.

“You don’t approve of this training,” Xel said – a statement, not a question.

I fumbled for a sensible answer. “It’s not something…” I began, before trailing off, uncertain about how to finish the sentence. To be honest, there were so many small details about Xel that suddenly made sense. The roll of his hips as he walked. The natural sensuality he wore like a second skin. The pout ofhis lips, the croon in his voice, the open invitation in his body language when he sat just a little too close to me. And as much as I wanted to condemn the whole concept of a sex slave, I was helpless but to admit that Xel was really,reallysexy.

But at the same time, he was entirely off limits. “The Alliance does not condone sexual slavery,” I explained to Xel, knowing that being anything less than entirely honest about it would only cause problems later. “Consent is extremely important in Alliance culture. No one should ever be able to order you to do anything sexually that you don’t wholeheartedly agree with.”

“And if I do agree with it?” Xel asked – a question which caught me entirely off-guard.

“Excuse me?”

“I had sex with your uncle,” he said, in a brazen confession that somehow didn’t shock me. I had already assumed as much. “And with a few of his staff. Dorral was the General Manager there. He told me that my master had ordered me to have sex with him, though I never heard such an order directly from my master. I suspect that Dorral was simply making up the order to get what he wanted.

“But I went along with it,” he added, as my gut churned at the news. “I let him believe that I believed him, and I acquiesced to his demands, because…” Xel paused to consider his next words. “Because I wanted someone else to pay attention to me. I wanted someone else to touch me. Your uncle was not an affectionate man. And so it suited me to indulge Dorral’s lies.”

He gave me a critical look, a slight frown on his face. “The dimari are not helpless. We are compelled to obey our masters, but we’re also taught a wealth of techniques to influence the people around us. And if you have any lingering concerns about any of this, then perhaps it would not be entirely rude of me to remind you that given that you’re not my true master, you’re not actually able to order me to do anything.”

I watched Xel, as carefully as he’d been watching me. He didn’t seem upset by the truth of our odd situation, and I considered his behaviour over the last few days. “You want to stay here, though,” I pointed out, about ninety per cent sure that I was right. “You would find it very difficult to have no master at all.”

“That is true,” he admitted, and I noticed a ripple of violet across the scales over his collarbones. “I need to belong somewhere. And I have genuinely been trying to please you. But you didn’t choose to have a dimari. So perhaps the idea that you cannot accidentally order me to do something I despise will make you happier.”