Page 5 of Xander (Soulless Outlaws Motorcycle Club #2)

Xander

After years and years of being alone, it's something that I’ve come to crave.

That was what I thought, at least until her .

I saw her the day she had arrived, but she hadn’t seen me.

I’d heard the term fucking gorgeous.

But never before have I thought that about a woman.

Sure, the last woman I had a friends-with-benefits kind of situation with was pretty.

But this woman... holy shit.

She had long dark locks, the perfect fucking body.

Hourglass.

Plump tits.

A rounded ass.

A little pudge to her belly that her shirt didn’t bother hiding.

Fucking perfect.

But what was stunning were her eyes.

Eyes that seemed to glisten.

Eyes that seemed hazel in color, but if you looked deep enough, I swore there were little golden tawny flecks in them.

Eyes that a man could get lost in.

And that told me one thing.

I needed to steer clear of her.

Far fucking clear of her.

But what I thought... and what would occur... what I wanted didn’t matter.

Not one fucking bit.

And I would also come to find out... that I needed it.

Needed it in a way I needed oxygen to breathe.

***

I was sitting in a chair in the back of the property.

My eyes were staring unseeingly at the fire that blazed.

Thoughts of my childhood.

Thoughts of how many times I wanted to just be done.

Thoughts of how maybe I would be better off pulling my 9mm out and blowing my brains out.

Because who wants to remember the times when you knew that if you weren’t smart enough, quick enough, or even fast enough, someone was going to take something from you that you didn’t want to give?

That was why I felt a tick form in my jaw when I caught sight of her as she made her way over to where I was sitting.

Normally, people avoided me like the plague.

And tonight... after a dream I had last night... the only thing I wanted was to be left alone.

I sat there as she made her way over.

And I kept sitting there as she opened her mouth to speak.

I caught the nervous way she bit her bottom lip.

And then I felt something as I heard her talk.

Something deep and foreign.

Unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.

Calming.

Soothing.

Relief.

“Umm, hi. I hope I’m not interrupting, but well, you see, I love astronomy.

And tonight, the Milky Way is supposed to be visible, and well, I won't be able to see it if I sit near the fire, so if it’s okay with you, I’m going to lay my blanket down over here.

I just didn’t want to interrupt you,” she said.

I told myself to snap at her.

I told myself to shake my head.

I told myself to get up and go for a ride.

But alas, I did none of those things.

Perhaps I wanted to be near her.

Even though I told myself I needed to steer clear of her.

Then, once I noticed I wasn’t getting up, and I wasn’t reacting, from the corner of my eye, I watched as she laid her blanket down and then lay down.

Moments later, I heard her gasp.

And then I looked up at what had caught her attention.

Was it cool?

Yes. Absolutely.

But it had nothing on the woman who was lying a few feet away.

And that was the only thought I had as I turned my head and took her in.

Really took her in.

She had the kind of body, the kind of voice, that men started wars over.

Having no regrets about who they had to take out, as long as they won the prize.

When I realized I had been staring at her, I turned my head and looked back at the fire.

It wasn’t until she got up and walked away that I realized something.

Those thoughts I had been having... they had stopped.

Completely fucking stopped.

And it wasn’t until I couldn’t see her anymore that they returned.

Like a goddamned inferno.

***

She sat down across from me like she didn’t have a care in the world.

Didn’t she know the kind of man I am?

The things I’ve done?

The sins I’ve committed?

The blood that stained my hands?

The regrets… who the fuck am I kidding?

What fucking regrets?

“You know that they say bad things come in threes?” she asked.

I didn’t reply.

“So, the neighbors at my complex finally moved out. They liked to have wall-banging sex in the wee hours of the morning. That’s the first thing.

The second thing is that the man who moved in next.

.. well... he likes his rap music and likes to try to keep up.

Hint, he can’t. That’s the second thing.

And the third thing? My heat and air unit went out.

It won’t be fixed for a few weeks. That’s the third thing. ”

I didn’t have any thoughts later in the day as I broke into her apartment while she was out shopping with her Tempie and Agatha.

No regrets about checking her place out.

Or discovering her panty drawer.

I wanted to see her in those red lace panties.

Or those black ones.

Or those purple ones with the black lace.

Fuck.

And I had zero regrets about fixing her heat and air unit.

Also, zero regrets about knocking a few of her landlord’s teeth down his throat after he caught me walking out of her apartment building.

He had his arm around a woman.

Apparently, he cared more about getting his dick wet than he did about his tenants.

Fucking asshole.

I was sitting in a chair the next day, my boots propped up, when once again, she came over.

Then she sat down and started talking.

“It’s the darndest thing. I told you about my heat and air unit, and then it got fixed.”

I looked at her, then I looked away.

All I could focus on was how the little tendrils of her hair had framed her face.

I heard a smile in her voice when she whispered, “Thank you. Nice touch to the landlord’s face, too.”

Then she got up and walked away.

She missed the slow smile that spread across my face.

***

It was a few days later when it happened again.

Anytime I opened the guard around my heart and allowed someone in, I got betrayed in the worst way.

It's something that no one should have to deal with. Something that no one should ever have to deal with.

And when she laid her blanket down next to my chair... I fucking waivered.

“What’s tonight?” I asked as I lit a cigarette and took a long pull.

“Mercury is going to be visible.” She said.

And like last time, at her gasp, I looked up, then looked at her.

I stared for a little while longer at her before I looked away.

She stayed there longer, too.

So long in fact that I heard it.

Soft snores.

It took everything in me that I had not to chuckle.

But I managed to beat it back.

Just then, Tempie came over, looked at Nola, and asked, “Is she asleep?”

I listened to the little snores that were coming from Nola and lifted a brow.

Tempie chuckled.

“She worked a double yesterday and today. She’s worn out. I’ll go get Merlin to carry her to the clubhouse and put her in our old room.”

Something about her statement rubbed me the wrong way.

Either it was the room they were going to put her in, or it was the simple fact that another man was going to touch her.

I didn’t know.

But I did know one thing... I didn’t fucking think so.

I put out my cigarette, stood, stepped over to Nola, wrapped the blanket around her, and then, carefully, I scooped her up in my arms.

Something I’ve never done in my life and hoped like fuck I was doing it right.

And I stood there for a moment as I allowed everything to flow through me and then lock somewhere deep inside of me.

Vanilla. Cherry. Chocolate.

Those were the scents that wafted up from her.

And yeah, I didn’t miss how right she felt in my arms.

And the way my heart felt like it expanded when she seemed to nuzzle her face into my shoulder... felt fucking right.

All of it.

I stepped away and caught Tempie’s jaw had dropped.

I lifted a brow at her.

She snapped her mouth shut and then led the way into the clubhouse.

I ignored the eyes that came to me.

I ignored the lifted brows.

I ignored the open mouths.

I ignored all of it.

And I ignored when Tempie stopped at their old room, and I kept right on walking.

Carefully, I opened the door to my room and stepped inside.

Then I walked to the bed and laid Nola down on it.

I tagged the comforter and carefully covered her up after I removed her shoes.

Tempie was standing there with another jaw-open expression.

I closed the door in her face without saying a word, then moved to the chair I had in there, sat down, and removed my boots.

Once I had them off, I removed my kutte and flung it over my dresser.

Then I leaned back and eyed the woman who was in my bed.

A bed that only I had ever been in.

And with the vision of her lying there, her dark locks splayed out around her, her entire angelic face at rest... I closed my eyes, keeping her image right there, front and center, and let sleep claim me.

***

My eyes opened what felt like moments later, and I immediately looked at the bed.

It was empty but made up.

I stood up, stretched my back, lit a cigarette, and took in a long pull.

Then I showered and changed for the day.

It was as I was pulling on my kutte that I froze... and thought.

And then... I came up empty.

What. The. Fuck.

No nightmares.

No memories.

No demons chasing at my heels.

And I knew that it was because of her.

Just who was this woman?

And what kind of power did she already have over me?

***

I had just made my way down the stairs and to the main level when I met Merlin.

He lifted his chin, then he lowered his voice, “My woman wasn’t too happy with you last night. But... I know you. She doesn’t. Just be yourself, Xander. Yeah?”

I didn’t reply.

Instead, I made my way to the kitchen, ignored everyone, tagged a plate from the island, scarfed down the eggs, bacon, and toast, and then headed to my bike.

And I frowned when I reached it.

There was something taped to my seat.

Bending down low, I tagged it and lifted the tape.

Xander,

What you did last night for me. Thank you. My dad is the only one who carried me to sleep when I was younger. I’d like to return the favor of doing something nice. So let me know what your favorite dessert is. I’ll make it.

Nola.

P.S. Here is my number.

I fingered the light, feminine script, and before I knew what I was doing, I had my phone out, her number typed in, and my favorite dessert typed out, then I hit send.

It didn’t register until my phone pinged that I had done that.

Me – Red Velvet Brownies.

Unknown – You got it.

I changed it to Nola in my phone.

Me – You don’t have to.

Nola – You didn’t have to either.

I shook my head and pocketed my phone, then I climbed on my bike and drove to the main office of Laken Construction.

The owner, Clay Laken, had tried to make me a foreman, and he still tried, but I had shaken my head all of the fifty times he had tried.

I got my paperwork and blueprints from Piper, the office manager, and then I got to work.

***

That night, after I got back to the clubhouse, I walked inside, in desperate need of a hot shower.

Agatha called out, “Xander!”

I looked at her and lifted my chin.

She pointed at something sitting on the bar.

I headed over there and saw a red tinfoil container. I eyed it, then looked at her.

She smirked, “A certain female stopped by here and dropped these off for you.”

I tagged the container, opened it, and eyed what was inside.

Then I felt a smile tug at my lips.

Then I lifted one out and took a big bite.

Fucking perfect.

Red Velvet Brownies.

I took another bite and then demolished the first one.

Then I demolished the rest of the container.

Agatha looked at me, then at the empty container, and asked, “Were you that hungry?”

I shook my head.

Keeping my reply to myself.

I wasn’t hungry.

Far from it, in fact.

I’d had a big sub for dinner.

It was just that they were too good to wait.

Or... it was because she had touched them, made them, they had been in her presence.

I wondered if I tried hard, if I could smell the vanilla, cherry, and chocolate that was all uniquely her.

***

My eyes searched the back courtyard over and over again.

Looking for her.

Normally, she would come over here and lay her blanket down, doing nothing more than gazing up at the stars, wondering what lay out there.

I’ve always preferred to be alone.

But yet, sometimes, it was nice to be in another company and not have them running their mouths.

And then... almost as if I had planned it, I saw her walking over to my spot.

I felt something in my chest settle in place.

Then she laid her blanket down beside my chair and lay down, gazing up at the stars.

That was when I cleared my throat and said, “Tell me a weird fact about all that.”

I was staring at the fire when she asked, “Weird fact about what?”

I tilted my head to look at her, then I looked up at the night sky, the stars winking in and out, and then looked back at her, then back to the fire.

She was silent for a moment, and then she said, “For every grain of sand on earth, there are ten thousand stars in the universe.”

I looked up at the night sky, then said, “Makes you feel really fucking small.”

I felt her gaze on me, and when I tilted my head to look at her, those golden tawny flecked colored eyes of hers shone.

Then she winked.

Now... I’ve had a lot of women wink at me.

But none of them caused that particular organ, which was made of four chambers that resided in my chest, to stutter.

Fuck. Me.