Page 16 of Xander (Soulless Outlaws Motorcycle Club #2)

Xander

Every second.

Every minute.

Every hour.

Every day.

I did something I’ve never done before.

I prayed.

I prayed for her to come back to me.

I prayed for another chance.

Five days ago, before I tracked her down while I had been in the shower, a thought occurred to me.

And that thought had me racing out of the shower, flipping the toilet lid open, and hurling up everything that had been in my stomach.

Because each time I pulled out of her, rolled to my back, rested for a second, and then got up and cleaned up... I had treated her like every man had treated my own mother.

Like she was nothing more than a whore.

And that thought alone had me seriously contemplating grabbing my gun and putting a bullet in my brain.

I didn’t deserve a second chance.

Fucking ever.

But... then I thought about something I had heard years ago, a saying, if you will.

An older Cajun woman had been in the town square one afternoon.

And randomly, as we had passed her on our way to get dinner on a starry-filled night sky, she had said, My love, you are the melody of my heart and the peace of my soul. With every breath I take, I am reminded of the endless love I have for you. You are my everything. Today. And. Forever.

That was what stopped me from going and getting my gun.

Because with every word I recalled... a flash of her face hit my vision.

Her crying.

Her laughing.

Those little breathy sounds she makes right when she cums.

The feel of her hugs, the sight of softness on her face.

Everything about her... called to me.

And I decided.

No more fucking around.

***

“Anything?” Grey asked.

I shook my head.

Khal growled, “Fuck. Sorry, brother.”

Kettle walked over and slammed his fists down on the table, “You get your shot, don’t fucking blow it.”

And with that statement, he turned on his boot and walked away.

At his words, I nodded.

Nuke walked over, “Anything?”

I shook my head.

Grimm walked over, pulled out a chair, and set down, then he pulled out his phone and typed something.

My phone pinged three times.

Grimm – Saw it in her eyes when she looked at you.

Grimm – She feels that kind of love for you that is endless.

Grimm – Give her time.

I looked at him and nodded.

Then Saint came walking over and jerked his chin, “Let’s go.”

I lifted a brow, “Go where?”

He smirked, “The ring. Pour all the mistakes you made with her into punches. And then when you throw that punch and hit your mark, let it go.”

I shook my head, “You're my brother. Won’t fucking hurt you.”

He chuckled. “You couldn’t hurt me. Only Ophelia and Soraya can do that.”

I sighed, “Saint.”

He growled, “Let’s go.”

At his words, I growled, then I stood up.

I removed my kutte and then moved to lay it on the picnic table when Kourt moved in and held out her hands.

I growled at her.

She stepped away.

I laid it on the picnic table, then I looked at Nuke, “Watch that?”

He lifted his chin.

Saint took his off and handed it to Ophelia.

Then we both entered the ring.

He smirked, “Do your worst, home boy.”

I snorted, “You sure?”

He jerked up his chin.

I stepped forward, once, twice, and then I swung.

His head whipped to the side.

He spat blood out, followed by a tooth, then he looked at me, “Fuck me.”

I snorted, “You sure about his?”

He spat another spot of blood out, then wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand, and then did the come-on gesture with his hands.

He got one good punch to my kidneys, but I returned the favor... ten fucking fold.

It was the next day.

I winced as I caught sight of Saint’s face.

Ophelia laughed.

He growled, then he turned his head and looked in my direction, “Feel a little more stress-free?”

I shook my head.

He lifted his chin, “Good.”

I growled, “Good? I pulverized your face.”

He nodded, his left eye the only one he could see out of, but barely, then he said, “The only way you’ll let go of the mistakes you made is if she takes you back. That’s the true sign of a man who wants to do better. You feel it. You know it.”

I lifted my chin.

I got him.

He was really saying that if one method didn’t work, then you did the only method that would.

And that was getting her to forgive me.

Suddenly, the clubhouse doors flew open, and Hamm, one of the prospects, came racing in.

He ran over to me, breathing heavily, then he asked, “What kind of car does Nola drive?”

I told him, “A Hyundai Sonata. White. Why?”

“Does it have black rims?” he asked.

I felt my breath catch, then I nodded.

“And a sticker on the back glass of two halos?” he asked.

I stood, then I nodded.

He grinned, “Just passed it about three miles back. Headed this way, I think.”

At his words, I inhaled a deep breath, and then I stalked out of the clubhouse, stood in front of the doors, and let my arms hang loose at my sides.

I felt my brothers move and stand at my back.

Saint, Grey, Khal, Nuke, Grimm, Wolf, Jury, Kettle, and Merlin.

And then I waited.

I waited for what felt like years.

And for this woman, I always would.

A light mist started to fall.

But I didn’t waver.

And then... I saw the gate move.

And then...a white sedan pulled into the lot.

I stood there as I stared.

Please.

Fuck.

Please let it be her.

It took everything I had in me to walk away from her and drive back home.

The saying, If you love them, you will set them free ... was bullshit.

Complete and utter bullshit.

The saying should be, If you love them, hold on as tight as you can.

That was something I was going to do if I ever won her back.

And then I watched as the white car pulled up in front of the clubhouse.

And I caught it.

That color of hair through the windshield.

And then I started running.

The door opened, and then she was running to me.

I stopped and braced.

She flung herself into my arms, her hand coming to the back of my neck.

My hands were on her ass; her legs were wrapped around my waist.

And then, almost as if we had the same thought, as she buried her face in my neck, I did the same thing, breathing her in.

Vanilla.

Cherry.

Chocolate.

“Baby,” I said.

“Honey,” she whispered.

She moved her face out of my neck, and then she said, “Things have to change.”

I nodded, “I know.”

“If they don’t, I’ll leave, and I won’t come back.” She said.

I nodded, “I know. Promise.”

Her head tilted to the side, “You once told me you don’t break your promises, I’m holding you to that.”

I winked, “Good.”

Then I said, “If I ever make you want to leave again, I’ll hand you my 9mm. Put one bullet into the back of my skull.”

Her eyes widened, “Xander.”

I winked, “Cause nothing in my life is good unless I have you.”

She stared into my eyes as I stared right back, then she inhaled a breath and nodded.

And with that nod, I did something I’ve been missing.

I slanted my head and then kissed her.

Hard.

Deep.

Long.

“Get a room,” sounded around us.

“No. Don’t do that. This is spank bank material.” I heard Wolf say.

I pulled my mouth from hers and narrowed my eyes at Wolf.

Then I slowly lowered her to the ground, keeping an arm around her until she was steady on her feet.

And then I turned to face Wolf and took one single step in his direction as my hand moved to my 9mm at the small of my back.

His eyes went wide, his face paled, and then he shouted, “Fuck,” as he took off running.

Nuke chuckled, “Fucking Delta Operator and he runs.”

“Pussy,” Kettle chuckled.

I nodded.

Then I looked over my shoulder to see Ophelia had Nola in her arms as Tempie and Agatha moved in to hug her and welcome her back home.

Then the club girls moved in.

She was the type of woman who accepted anyone and everyone.

And I loved the fuck out of her.

It was high time I told her that.

“Nola?” I called out.

She turned her head, her eyes immediately finding my own, as she asked, “Yeah?”

“I love the fuck out of you,” I told her.

Ignoring everyone who was now standing in the forecourt of the clubhouse.

“I love the fuck out of you, too, Xander.” She called back.

I winked at her, then nodded my head, as I came to a sobering thought.

This was the time I was going to rectify a wrong I had committed against her.

Ignoring everyone, I walked over to her, then tagged her hand and led her to my bike.

She laughed as she waved at the ladies.

But I paid them no mind.

Then I handed her my helmet and helped her put it on.

Her eyes were wide.

I lowered my voice, then I said, “Ain’t never had anyone on the back of my bike, baby.”

Softly, she whispered, “Xander.”

I shook my head, “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you there, baby. I did. But fuck me... if anyone, and I mean anyone, brought harm to you? You’ve never seen Nuke go nuclear. But take the worst act imaginable that a man could do and multiply that by twenty.”