Page 5

NEVER HAVE I EVER

FALLON

“ N ever have I ever been outside of the country.” I know I can get a couple of the girls out with this one. Casting my eyes around the circle, I’m proven right as I watch Bridget, Amber, and Lukas each put a finger down.

Lukas decides to go next. “Never have I ever slept with more than one guy in a day.”

Savannah puts a finger down, and attempts to explain herself.

“That’s not even fair, of course you haven’t slept with a dude before, Lukas.

No judgement if you have though. I’ve already told them the story, but for anyone who doesn’t know…

I fucked this one guy who didn’t have the ability to get me off.

So, I left his house, and went to some other dude’s house who could.

Anyway… Never have I ever drank so much I puked in my neighbour’s front yard. ”

Looking around the circle, I notice Summer puts a finger down.

She turns to Savannah, glaring daggers. “Bitch. It was one time, and the Absinthe fairy made me do it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure y’all are asking questions that will single certain people out. Ask better fucking questions.”

“Well, if you think you can do any better, then be my guest. You best come up with a good one,” Savannah replies.

“And I will,” Summer snips. “Never have I ever…thought about killing someone.”

We all eye Amber as she puts down a finger. “What? Don’t act like y’all have never wanted to murder someone before. Not a single one of you can tell me life wouldn’t be a little more interesting if one of us was a serial killer,” she justifies.

I jump in, “If any of us are a serial killer, it’s going to be you, Amber. You watch enough documentaries, and listen to that Morbid podcast religiously. I’d be willing to bet you could get away with it, too.”

“What can I say… I like my serial killers.” Amber shrugs her shoulders, pounding the rest of her boozy tea.

Great.

Drunken Amber is about to start spouting all the fuckin' facts.

Lukas’s demeanour completely shifts, seemingly extremely interested in what Amber has to say now. Clearing his throat, he says, “Well…tell us who your favourite serial killer is then.”

Amber’s eyes light up like fourth of July fireworks, and Lukas has no idea what beast he has just awoken within our den mother.

“OH MY GOD, WHERE DO I EVEN START?” she squeals.

“There’s the Butcher Baker from Alaska, Piggy Pickton from The Great White North, Ted Bundy, obviously.

Paul and Karla were pretty fucked up. Don’t even get me started on Ivan Milat.

If I had to pick one I could talk about for hours though, it would probably be Albert Fish, that dude shoved needles into his ass.

” Lukas is visibly blown away, clearly not expecting her to unload on him like that.

Little does he know…that barely scratches the surface.

“Wow, you know your shit. I thought I was a true crime buff,” Lukas states.

“Please, no more,” Summer groans, hanging half out of the hot tub.

“Shut up,” snaps Amber. “Now tell me your favourites,” she says, looking back to Lukas.

He looks her dead in the eye as he says, “The Toy Box Killer.”

Something flits across Amber’s face, I can’t read it. Maybe it’s nothing, I’m buzzed.

“Oh, that’s a fucked up one. You like them completely twisted, don’t you?” Amber’s mama bear instincts have reared their ugly head as she sizes up Lukas. Ready to fuck up his shit based on what he says next.

“I do,” he replies, cool as a cucumber lounging in a lawn chair. “But the unsolved ones are my favourite.” Fuck, he’s got her now. She won’t shut the fuck up about the unsolved ones, or the ones where you know who did it but they get away with it.

Amber ponders over what he says, then starts a game of rapid-fire true crime this or that with him.

They’re both really into it, and it morphs into a very competitive trivia drinking game.

We all watch as Lukas downs gulp after gulp, collecting a pile of beer cans at his feet from never have I ever, and Amber kicking his ass at this made up game.

She better quit soon or he’ll be sleeping in his truck.

Savannah, getting annoyed from the lack of attention, whines, “Are we ever gonna finish Never Have I Ever ? It’s better than listening to this gruesome shit all night.”

Amber shoots her a nasty look, then turns back to Lukas. “Do you surrender?”

“Yes, fuck. You’re the true crime queen.” He mocks bowing before her, and we all laugh. He’s clearly drunk.

Summer splashes Bridget in the hot tub, “Hey, get up, I got to tinkle.” Bridget complies, and they disappear into the bush together to relieve their bladders.

Upon their return, we pick up where we left off in Never Have I Ever . We’re all buzzed and having a good time as we go around the circle a few more times playing.

I’m glad Lukas decided to show up when he did, it’s kind of nice having someone new around.

I start on another internal spiral about how fine he looks, and how I shouldn’t care, but then our eyes meet over the fire. He gives me a charming smirk, quickly winking before returning to the game.

I take the opportunity to give him a quick once over, and begin to wonder when he put two more fingers down.