Page 60 of Wrath of the Dragons (Fear the Flames #2)

Chapter Forty-four

Cayden

The wind whipping off the waves isn’t loud enough to drown out my father’s voice booming through my skull.

You ruin everything you touch, boy. My life was so much better before you came into the world, and I wish you’d died in your mother’s womb. She would’ve mourned you, but she’d still be here.

I’m fucked in the head in a way that can’t be undone.

I’m sure the old man is smiling up at me in triumph after being proved right yet again.

I hate that he would be happy that I’m king.

I hate that he would be happy the people of the southern isles are calling for me to ascend the conquered throne.

I hate that he would’ve said utilizing the marriage clause was wise.

I hate when it feels like I’m looking in a mirror and seeing my father.

We have the same skin tone, the same wavy hair, the same broad frame, the same facial features. Thank the gods I didn’t get his eyes, even if it made him give me an extra lash when he saw my mother within my gaze.

The only damn thing that separates us is that I would never stand idly by while Elowen was harmed.

I never fell asleep after holding a knife to Elowen’s neck.

It was a sight too chilling; I knew it would be awaiting me in my nightmares.

The last thing I remembered before passing out from the poison was Elowen’s screams, and I was still in my battle headspace when I woke up on my stomach with someone touching my back.

I didn’t know it was her, but if there was ever a moment when I wanted to grant her the favor of removing myself from her life, it was that one.

“Raise the sails!” Vale, the captain of the vessel shouts, and the crew scurries around the deck in response. Several water mages along with Ophir joined their ranks and are able to wield the water to get us to Galakin quicker.

Waves crash against the steep cliffs bordering the cove, the spray dissolving into the air filled with squawking gulls.

We can’t portal to Galakin because the distance is too vast and would risk burning out the mages, but if something goes wrong in Vareveth it’s a risk we’ll have to take.

The ship lurches beneath my feet as wind fills the dark blue sails.

I transfer my weight to keep from stumbling, something Elowen and Finnian haven’t mastered, if their thumping and giggling streaming from somewhere on the deck is any indication.

My eyes remain on the endless horizon speckled with clouds as the dragons fly forward. Saskia steps up beside me, her gloved hands gripping the railing. “The five of us need to have a meeting now that we’ve left port.”

Ophir cleaves a wave in two, allowing us to sail through it. “Is Ryder in the cabin?”

She hesitates for a moment. “He is.”

I crack my neck and fill my lungs with the salty air, knowing the inevitable argument that’s coming will only add to my exhaustion. “I’ll see you down there.”

I sneak one final glance at Elowen from the corner of my eye before climbing the steps to the upper deck and shoving the door to the meeting room open.

Nautical-themed decor adorns the walls, but nothing overly extravagant.

The whole ship is made of dark wood, including the furniture that’s nailed to the floor—aside from the chairs.

Ryder glances up at me when I enter, his lips turning down as he looks me over. “Let’s have at it,” I sigh, claiming the seat across from him. “You’ve always worn your emotions on your face.”

He shakes his head, a sneer contorting his features. “What’s to say, Cayden? You saved my life, and I feel like a liability again, just as I did when we were younger.”

“You’ve defended me on several occasions.”

“I never took a bomb for you.”

“There’s always another day if that’s what made your mood so sour.” I shrug. “There was no sense in both of us dying. I knew what was coming, so I covered you.”

“You have a wife!” He slams his hands on the table, rattling the lantern at the center. “ A wife! I had to listen to that woman scream as tears of blood ran down her cheeks while I prayed to every god I’ve ever heard of to spare both your lives. You were dying right in front of me, and so was she.”

It would have been less painful if he’d forced me to swallow glass. Gods, her screams. I’ll remember them for as long as I live. The helplessness I felt in that moment disgusted me, and I’ve never hated myself more, knowing I couldn’t rip my hands away from her.

“You should’ve taken her away from me.”

“No, I shouldn’t have.” He shakes his head. “What she did was a miracle.”

“What she did was suicidal,” I growl, rising to my feet.

“Then you’re perfect for each other.” He mimics my position. “Where would your death have left her? Think of Elowen. She may have married you but there’s no heir to secure the line of succession.”

Flames fill my veins at the mention of fatherhood, something I’ve always rejected entirely.

“All I have done from the moment Elowen came into my life is think of her! Dragons will secure a throne much more than a child, so I suggest you stop speaking of my wife as if her worth is entirely based on what comes from between her legs. Insult me all you want, but do not bring Elowen into this. You’re acting like an immature prick, reprimanding me as if I ran toward the bomb when all I did was limit the death toll from an inevitable attack. ”

His face drops as he collapses back into the chair. The walls feel like they’re closing in on me, but I clench my jaw and claim my seat as well. Saskia will be here with Finnian and Elowen shortly, and it is smart to have a meeting now that we’re en route to Galakin for an alliance.

I pull up my sleeves and glare down at the new markings on my arm.

I hate that I can’t stop loving her, but I sickeningly never want to be freed of this cursed torment.

Her screams continue echoing in my mind, and I’d already be halfway to the pit beneath the Demon’s Den if we were back in Vareveth, needing to take my anger out on something.

Fear is a pitiful emotion, but I could practically taste it when Elowen sliced her palms open.

It was the only thing stronger than my self-loathing.

I’m deeply selfish, and my actions throughout my life reflect that. I kill when needed. I steal when needed. I lie when needed. I can generate some degree of feeling if prompted, but I don’t navigate life with emotions.

Elowen has always been the greatest flaw in my logic.

It perplexed me to no end in the beginning.

I’d lie awake trying to pinpoint the reason her happiness and safety began to matter more to me than freeing her dragons.

I’d step off the battlefield or out of the fighting ring and pick through flowers with blood-coated hands and imagine her smile when they arrived in her room.

She’s the only good part of me, but when I think of the pain I caused her, it makes me want to bury my emotions so she’ll never know the true depths of them.

All my life I’ve been taught that love is a weakness, that all it does is spawn misery, and I wish I could be different, but I’m not.

Elowen crashes into the room like a storm as the ship lurches over a patch of rough water, and I manage to stand and wrap my arms around her before she slams into the table. “You’ll find your sea legs eventually.”

“I much prefer my land legs,” she huffs.

“My lap is still available if you’re scared of the sea monsters swimming below.”

She groans, looking up at me over her shoulder. “I’ll send you to them if you continue reminding me of their existence.”

I pull her down next to me despite the dark emotions churning within, or maybe it’s because of them.

Her presence has always had a way of making the darkness bearable.

She’s the center of my universe and everything else revolves around her.

I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, my thumb rubbing over her pulse point several times, and if she notices what I’m doing she doesn’t comment on it.

“First thing,” Saskia says, shrugging off her thick fur cloak and throwing it over a chair as Finnian takes the spot beside Elowen. “Since we’re on our way to Galakin, let’s discuss how we’ll get Prince Zarius to join us.”

“Kidnapping.”

“Blackmail,” Elowen says.

“Threats,” Ryder adds.

Saskia drops her head into her hands as Finnian laughs. “You’re the royal family of Vareveth. You must be able to negotiate with rulers properly, without blackmail. Even if he’s a disinherited prince.”

“Gaining the upper hand by any means necessary is negotiating properly,” I say.

The ship lurches again and Elowen squeezes her eyes shut and reaches for my hand.

I pull her chair closer to mine and wrap my arm around her waist, kissing the side of her head.

She grabs the wine bottle beside the lantern and tosses back several gulps before I rip it from her. “You haven’t eaten.”

“I’ll get drunk faster, and time will go by quicker.”

“Not when you’re vomiting into a barrel.” I give it a solid day before she’s singing a different tune and falls in love with sailing. “We’ll deal with the prince when the time comes. The best plans are born from improvisation anyway.”

“You planned for several years before finding Elowen,” Saskia points out in a prim tone.

“That was different.”

“She was also a disinherited royal.”

“With a bond to five dragons, the daughter of my enemy, and extremely beautiful.”

“You didn’t know the last part.”

“My hope was fulfilled.”

A flush creeps up Elowen’s neck as she clears her throat.

“Putting Prince Zarius on the Thirwen throne will benefit both us and Galakin. Not only will it provide us with another ally in the world, but Cordelia must crave answers about her sister who went missing and sparked the war between their kingdoms.”

“No matter how much he wishes to hide, a royal can’t remain a ghost forever.” Finnian gestures to Elowen as proof.

“Zario is known for its gambling dens. It’s just outside of the royal city. We’ll check there before moving along to the castle,” I say.

“Won’t it be seen as an insult for us not to go directly to the royals?” Saskia asks.

“We’ve gone on stealth missions before,” Ryder answers.

“We’ll lower the sails that have the Veles sigil on them.

Elowen can command the dragons to stay out of sight, and we can be in and out of the city before the royals know.

It’s not as if Elowen and Cayden have visited here as king and queen before. Nobody will know their faces.”

When the others aren’t looking, Ryder offers me an apologetic glance, and I nod in response. I know he regrets his earlier words, but I’m not one for sappy apologies.

A servant carries in a tray of beef stew filled with sweet potatoes, carrots, onions, and other vegetables. The hearty scent fills the cabin as he sets it down. Finnian turns even greener than before, but I don’t waste time before ripping into a warm loaf of bread and dipping it into my bowl.

“How are you eating right now?” Finnian grumbles.

“With my mouth,” I flatly state.

“Galakin holds the gods in high regard, especially the Goddess of Flames. Their society is built around fire and light magic,” Ryder begins. “You were both marked during your wedding, the ritual, and with Elowen’s newfound ability to wield dragonfire—”

“Why didn’t any of you start with that? Who gives a fuck about the prince?” I turn to fully face Elowen. “You wielded dragonfire?”

Elowen’s mouth opens and shuts several times, and a nervous laugh escapes her as she glances around the room. “Sort of?”

“How do you sort of wield fire?”

“Listen, I don’t know how I did it. I sat beside a candle for several hours last night and tried to pull the flames toward me but didn’t feel anything.

It could’ve been a fluke or a result of the ritual.

I remember my rage amplifying after I knew you were healed, and the power felt like it would make my body combust if I didn’t expel it. ”

“Try again.” Ryder shoves the lantern toward her where a single flame flickers through the glass. “Or we could go up to the deck if you’d like to use dragonfire, and we’ll cheer you on while you get to it.”

“What a brilliant idea,” Elowen drawls. “Let me just pull magical fire to me as I stand on a wooden ship in the middle of an ocean.”

He snaps his fingers. “Noted. Not my best plan, I’ll admit that.”

“What happened after you wielded it?” Fucking hells, I can’t believe I missed this.

“I was able to pry into the wards, and I would’ve kept going if we hadn’t been planning to leave Vareveth, but the wards will help keep them out of our territory.

I couldn’t hold on to it, though. I’m hoping to be able to observe some of the Galakin mages and practice their techniques.

In the meantime, I’ll continue strengthening the connection to my dragons.

Seeing through their eyes can’t light the ship on fire and the more I do it the easier it’ll become.

” She inhales deeply. “Soldiers on both sides knelt to me. It caused chaos within the Imirath and Thirwen ranks. I declared that I’m coming for my throne. ”

“You’re…incredible,” I say, unable to tear my eyes away from her face. Her blush deepens, and she sits forward in her chair to escape my intense gaze. I’ll see her wield it one day. She may think it was a fluke, but I’m convinced this woman is made of magic.

“Has there been any news of the southern isles since the initial rebellion?” Finnian asks.

“No,” Saskia responds. “All is quiet for now, but silence can shatter in a second.”