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Page 20 of Wrath of the Dragons (Fear the Flames #2)

Chapter Fourteen

Cayden

I guide the whetstone along my sword as the snow swirls around me, not bothering to look up when several people in the road stop to stare before quickening their steps to get back to whatever last-minute tasks they need to complete before departure.

I’m counting down the seconds until we’re able to leave.

My patience is holding on by a frayed piece of string, and my temper winds through me like a storm.

I couldn’t manage to go farther than the front porch.

Despite wanting a distraction, protecting Elowen is my duty.

I swore an oath to her when we struck our deal, and I won’t falter.

Violence has shaped my life and even in the quiet moments, I’m prepared for it to appear.

The people of Vareveth coined the term demon of Ravaryn, but sometimes I think that one really did possess me as a boy and slowly eats away at my soul.

My name is whispered in fear, shrouded in shadow, and drenched in blood.

Someone rounds the side of the house, boots crunching in the snow as the Vareveth soldier on patrol quickens their pace. I drop the whetstone beside me to give them my full attention. “Sir, it’s the queen. She’s—”

I grip the hilt of my blade and rush to the back of the house, immediately spotting the evidence of her pain. Ashes drift along the winter-kissed ground and sparks rise high above the flames. “No soldier is to come back here until I get the queen inside,” I shout over my shoulder.

Footsteps lead toward a lake coated in ice and bordered by jagged mountains. The only flaw in the otherwise perfect surface is the gap beneath the gushing waterfall spilling over black rocks.

Elowen paces along the shore, wrapping her arms around herself like she’s desperate for comfort.

I wonder how many times she’s broken down in silence and hugged herself, wishing she could have someone there to hold her.

Fucking hells, she’s not even wearing a coat, and her trembling is evident the closer I get.

The golden dragons embroidered on the bell sleeves of her long blue tunic glimmer as she moves.

It remains open in the front to reveal knife-clad legs with more delicate embroidery in a line down her thighs.

Sorin isn’t far from her, rustling his wings and stomping his feet as he watches his rider.

My coat is already off by the time I reach her, and her head shoots up when I wrap it around her. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

A feral growl tears free of her lips as she rips the coat off and shoves it at my chest. “I don’t want you here.”

She’s not sleeping. She’s barely eating.

She’s lost in her mind most of the time and I need to pull her out of it.

I clutch the coat, not letting it fall in the snow because I’m getting this damn thing on her.

She covers her mouth, eyes widening in fear as they flash back to the house.

“Nobody can hear you but me. I’ve given you space when you asked for it in the past, but I’m done with that because clearly it’s not working. ”

“You don’t get to hurt me and be privy to my every thought.” She angrily swats some of her tears away.

“I can’t fix anything if you don’t talk to me.”

“Talk to you?” She laughs shrilly. “Communication was the one thing I asked of you and emphasized the importance of, and you blindsided me in a room filled with enemies, so you don’t get to stand there and speak to me as if I’m the one who faltered.

” Her breath clouds in front of her lips, coming out in short gasps.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I request space because it pains me to look at you?” Lightning shoots through my chest, making it hard to breathe, but I don’t let it show on my face.

“You have always wanted power, and I will not be your pawn as you grasp for it.”

“Which is why I made you my queen.” I step forward, forcing her arms through the coat as she struggles against me.

“Keep it on,” I state in a low growl before releasing her.

She can fight with me until the sun rises but not unless she’s warm.

If this were any other moment, I’d laugh at how large it is on her, but I have a feeling she’d castrate me if I smiled.

“The voice in your head telling you that I utilized the marriage clause because I wanted to be king more than I wanted you isn’t mine. ”

She flinches, tightening her arms around her middle again. “Don’t talk about Ailliard.”

“I didn’t say his name, love.” She shakes her head again, and I wonder if Ailliard is in there right now.

I’ll never understand how someone I completely adore could see herself so terribly.

“I have been in much worse positions in life, so yes, I have taken to the role of king and will do whatever is necessary. I was born with nearly nothing and even that was taken from me before I rebuilt myself brick by brick. If I fail at being king, if I even falter and give our enemies an opening to exploit, I will lose you. I will lose everything I’m not willing to let go.

You are my priority and mine to protect, not a throne or a kingdom. ”

She sucks in a sharp breath and rubs at her chest, squeezing her eyes shut as she shakes her head.

Years of conditioning have taught her to view herself as someone to only give love and never receive it.

She’ll offer pieces of herself on a platter until she has nothing left to give, but it ends with me.

“A crown is an ornament, nothing more than a gilded lie. It’s worth nothing against a sword, and only armies keep it on a ruler’s head. I may have kept to the shadows, but I ruled from them, and I’ve never needed the validation of the world. Power isn’t given, it’s taken.”

She sobs, and it breaks something in me I didn’t know was whole. I step forward, risking her ire by framing her cheeks in my hands. She doesn’t pull away, but she also doesn’t move closer. “I conquered a kingdom to have you. It was the only way.”

“You manipulated Eagor. You manipulate everyone around you to get what you want.” She shoves at my chest, her anger returning despite it clearly exhausting her.

“I must’ve been an easy target. A woman who never knew love aside from her best friend.

You dangled the moon on a string, and I grasped for it like a fool.

” Her next words are growled through her teeth, “I will not close my eyes and accept treatment I don’t deserve just because I want to be with you. ”

“You think I manipulated you ?” I ask incredulously and drag a hand down my face.

Elowen’s anger is cold, but her heart is warm and light.

She loves fiercely and hurts deeply because of it.

I never want to change a damn thing about her, I just want to be the one to protect that heart.

I want it to be safe with me. “If I was manipulating you, I would’ve demanded you marry me before we freed your dragons, knowing you would have.

All hells, Elowen. If I manipulated you, I wouldn’t have ruined myself in the process.

I wouldn’t be tormented every hour that passes by knowing it’s another spent with this distance between us. ”

She keeps shaking her head, the frustration evident on her features.

She’s been told empty words all her life; I can’t blame her for doubting whatever I say.

I unsheathe the dragon dagger on her thigh and wrap her fingers around the hilt, keeping mine over hers and holding the blade against my neck.

“What are you doing?!”

“It appears we’re at an impasse.” Her hand trembles under my grip but I hold firm.

“Kill me if you truly hate me so much for what I’ve done.

I have no regrets when it comes to you, and I refuse to die by anyone else’s hand.

I’ve been slowly dying since the moment I saw you, so it seems fitting for you to be the one to deliver my end.

For as long as I live, you will never be free of me and even in death I will do everything in my power to haunt you. ”

The blade stays pressed against my neck after I release her fingers, and I lean into the sharp edge.

Elowen sucks in a sharp breath and her chest heaves as I lean down and slide my fingers through her curls as beads of blood begin dripping down my skin.

Her eyes dart between the blade and my gaze, her brows knotting when my lips hover an inch above hers.

“Make your choice, sirantia, because all I have ever chosen is you.”

Each tear that drips down her cheeks is like another blade piercing my flesh.

“Do you want to know the worst of it? If you had told me you wanted to be king, I would’ve fought for you.

I would’ve married you if it got you what you wanted.

After everything you’ve done for me and my dragons, I would’ve. ”

“I didn’t want it to be like this.” My loyalty may be blood-soaked, but it has always been hers.

Elowen is the light in my life, the only good part of me.

She’s the silence in the mayhem. “I’ll sacrifice myself at your altar a thousand times over to be the man you deserve, knowing I’ll always fall short because a man good enough for you doesn’t exist.”

She remains silent, moonlight illuminating the tears that flow like rivers down her cheeks.

I hate tears, they’ve always made me uncomfortable, but these fill me with a feral desperation to make this right.

She’s the only exception, and I have no fucking idea how she managed it.

Sorin curls around her, making sorrowful noises deep in his throat.

It sounds like the tune Elowen hums to calm them on occasion.

She must recognize it because it makes her sob again as she drops the blade to her side. “You know I can’t do it. No matter what’s happened, I can’t.”