Page 21 of Wrath of the Dragons (Fear the Flames #2)
“Come here,” I mutter before hoisting her into the air and wrapping her legs around my waist. She collapses against me as I walk us back to the house, clinging to me so tightly, like she’s as desperate for this as I am.
Her body continues shaking as I walk her through the hall and set her down on the bed.
I add another log to the fire before riffling through my bag to find the tin I need and tilt Elowen’s chin up.
“I’m going to give you a few moments to get ready for bed while I make you some tea. Just call out if you need anything.”
She nods, her eyes dry but vacant of the vibrancy I’ve come to adore, and I can’t stop myself from pressing my lips to her forehead before leaving.
I hang my head, wanting to throttle someone, something, anything, as I place the bronze kettle over the fire still burning from earlier.
The tin clatters on the kitchen counter, and I drop my head into my hands.
No matter how angry Elowen is, she can’t hate me more than I hate myself.
A door down the hall creaks open and I straighten my spine, wiping the emotion from my face. Finnian saunters around the bend in his night clothes, glancing at my neck. “Do I want to know?”
“Even if you did, I wouldn’t tell you.”
He snickers while picking up the tin to read it. “Chamomile and lavender?”
“It’s supposed to help anxiety.”
“For you?” he asks, despite knowing the answer, so I don’t dignify the question with a response. “You’re in love with my sister.”
Gods, does anyone in this group mind their fucking business? Love is the most selfish emotion in my opinion. You make someone love you and ruin them in the process. Love ruined both of my parents.
Fate wields love like a weapon, leaving only tragedy in its wake.
I turn away to find a mug, but Finnian doesn’t disappear by the time I turn around. “Don’t hold your breath if you’re waiting for me to deny it. If that woman sheds another tear tonight, I’m going to have to murder someone.”
Finnian laughs softly. “Strangely I’m happy she has someone like you. I’m surprised you didn’t kill Ailliard before that night.”
I shrug, wishing this fucking kettle would boil already. “I threatened to.”
Finnian’s brows shoot up. “He never mentioned it.”
There aren’t many men who would admit to being on the brink of vomiting while pinned to a wall. “It was after Elowen and I came back from Kallistar Prison. I told him I’d break his neck and make it look like a riding accident if he didn’t start treating her with more kindness.”
“That explains his change in behavior,” Finnian mutters. “I should’ve done it years ago.”
I hold back my retort, knowing Elowen would hate it if I were to upset Finnian. If he wants comfort, I’d rather wake Ryder up. He’s by far the friendlier of the two of us and would deal with the situation a lot better than me. “She’s in her room if you want to go to her.”
“It’s not me she needs.” He gives me a pointed look.
“Elowen is not vengeful by nature. She wasn’t born with her darkness, it was made.
One of the gentlest hearts beats in her chest, and once this war is over I look forward to living in a world that allows her to be herself.
I don’t think she ever would have picked up a knife had she not been forced to. ”
The kettle whistles, and I douse the tea leaves in steaming water.
The most dangerous people are not those who are born with anger, it’s those who became lethal to avenge something or someone.
Motivation becomes the whetstone that sharpens you against the world.
“I want you to be the commander of the Aestilian forces. Elowen is the only one with the authority to grant you that position, but you know she’ll agree. ”
I’m already walking toward the hall when I hear his raspy whisper. “Why?”
“Elowen always tells me that she wouldn’t have survived exile without you.” I stop in my tracks and glance over my shoulder. “If anyone deserves to be named Commander of Aestilian, it’s you.”
Finnian blinks slowly and I leave him to digest the news.
Elowen can speak to him about it, but Finnian’s loyalty is unquestionable.
It reminds me of the bond I share with Ryder and Saskia.
I grew up beside them, struggled with them, learned their strengths.
It’s why I promoted them both when I became Commander of Vareveth.
I’ve hurt more people than I can remember, letting their faces fade into the darkness within me, but Elowen’s remains. I push open the door and something pinches in my chest when I take in her red eyes and dark curls cascading around her as she sits up against the headboard.
“I’m—”
“The most beautiful woman to exist?” I hand her the mug, cutting her off. “Never apologize to me.”
She brings the mug to her nose, her eyes slipping shut as she inhales the floral aroma before taking a sip. I kick off my boots and toss my shirt aside, taking a seat on the bed to face her. She traces the rim with her finger, looking into the water like she’s searching for an answer.
“He kept some of my childhood belongings in the same compartment where he hid the pardons. I burned them along with his things.” She sniffs. “He didn’t love me, even if he tried.”
“His inability to love you is a reflection on him, not you. Don’t base your worth off of someone who couldn’t have been half as good as you if they’d tried,” I say. “He was a fool for not loving you.”
She takes another sip, swallowing hard and licking her lips.
“The irony is that he punished me when I couldn’t make a kill once.
I was a child, no more than twelve, and Ailliard arranged a hunting party where I saw a doe and her fawn.
He raged at me when I put my knives down and told everyone I tripped when he slammed my head into a rock.
He even convinced me. Finnian had to carry me home.
” My hands itch to grab a sword but there’s no target.
“He tracked the deer through the forest after that and bled them both in front of me before forcing me to eat them, not that I kept the meat down.” She drags her eyes to mine.
“I feel more remorse for those deer than I do for my own uncle, and when I think of everything he did to me, everything he said to me, my mind feels like a mess. My own memories aren’t even a reliable source because I don’t know what he manipulated. ”
“He deserved to die.” When I greet death, I’ll make sure to find Ailliard in hell and torture him for everything he’s done.
I slide into bed beside Elowen, pulling her against my chest and threading my fingers through her hair.
She must be tired because she doesn’t put up any fight, but the bed is too small for us to share without touching anyway.
She drapes her leg over mine, and my skin burns every place she presses against. I’ve done nothing in life to deserve her, and yet I can’t stop wanting her with a devotion that could rival religions.
“Elowen, I swear to you, everyone in this world who has harmed you will die screaming.”
She lifts her head to look at me, mindlessly tracing one of my scars. Gods, those eyes. It’s like she’s twisting a knife into my heart, and yet I feel no reprieve in her absence. “Don’t betray me.”
“My loyalty to you will never cease.”