Page 25 of Worse Fates (Soulmates Suck #1)

I’m not sure how long Lucero and I slept. But once I’m awake, the dipping sun sets the room ablaze in reds and yellows. A pile of cheese sandwiches sits on the bedside table waiting to be eaten, no doubt left by Kai.

I’ll check on him soon.

Lucero assured me my friend was healthy and resting, but I got the sense there was something left unsaid. Before I could question my vampire, he was out like a light. Now, as I stand over his sleeping form, eating a sandwich and getting crumbs on his fancy carpet, I realise I’ve never seen him sleep.

He lies on his back, one hand behind his head and the other across his chest.

I polish off a third sandwich, feeling a bit like a stalker as I scan every exposed inch. He remains topless, black PJ bottoms sitting low on his carved hips. The moment of panic when he ripped his shirt off to prove he was okay is carved into my mind.

But, also….damn. That was kinda sexy.

My teeth sink deep into the sandwich, gaze locked on his hard chest, unblinking. Lucero’s got dark nipples and brown hair scattered over his warmed white skin.

Has this dude always been handsome?

A petty part of myself hopes he was a bit too skinny and awkward as a teenager. Maybe he hadn’t grown into his strong nose, striking lips or defined jaw. Or maybe he’s one of God’s favourites, and looking like a Greek statue comes naturally.

I also wonder what age he was made into a vampire. Maybe thirty? We never did revisit the subject of me becoming a vampire. I bet he’s hoping I’ve forgotten.

‘Too bad for him,’ I think, shoving the last sandwich in my mouth.

I down a couple glasses of water, then head into the bathroom for a shower. Like his bedroom, it's all dark, moody colours. The black countertop matches the black tiled floor and the bigass black bathtub. It’s cool, masculine, like shoving down your feelings and eating steak raw. But it’s also lonely, cold. Ramy decorated; is this how he sees my vampire? Or is that how Lucero sees himself?

Either way, I think it’s time he had a bit more colour in his life.

The hot spray of the shower clears away the last of my fogginess and I stretch my arms into the water, cracking my neck from left to right.

Jace. I just can’t escape that bellend.

I couldn’t really make out the woman with him, but I heard him scream her name—Emma. She was weird when I first met her all those years ago.

Jace was a lot of things, but he brought me up to hate drugs. So when he came to me, lips stretched into a too tight grin, waving a little bag of bright red pills, I knew something had changed. I’d pleaded to understand what was going on, or for him to see reason but his mind was made up.

Now I know Emma is a blood mage, I wonder if she fucked Jace up somehow? Or maybe she brought his violence to the surface.

I shut off the stream, impatient to return to Lucero’s side and half-heartedly towel myself off. Still damp, I climb back into bed and press against his side, hungry for his warmth.

His arms come around me on instinct, and all my worries fade away because Lucero is…home.

***

When I next wake up, my head’s cradled in his lap. He’s sitting against the bed rest, fingers running through my curls.

“Good whatever time it is,” I yawn.

Lucero smiles indulgently, moving curls from my forehead.

“How did you sleep?”

I shift, then drag myself up so I can flop onto him. He chuckles, moving my pliant body until I’m straddling his lap, my cheek flattened on his shoulder.

“Good. But you’re a bit pale, do you need blood?”

Warm lips touch my temple.

“I’ll go hunting later, I need fresh human blood. I may be healed but I’m weak.”

“You can bite me.”

The words are out my mouth before I can stop myself, but I don't regret it.

However, he’s already shaking his head.

“No, beautiful. You were hurt, too and need to replenish.”

I run my fingers through his coarse chest hair as an odd twisting in my gut flares to life.

“I think I’m jealous of the people you’re going to feed from.”

I expect Lucero to laugh. Instead he hums low in his throat and kisses my exposed neck.

“And when…”

he heaves a deep sigh.

“When you are a vampire, I’ll be jealous too.”

I bolt upright.

“You’re serious?”

Lucero’s lips purse.

“I suppose I am. But not now, not for many years, love. Do not argue with me on that point. You’re still young. Allow me to wine and dine you first.”

My cheeks hurt with how wide I smile.

“You think I’m gonna change my mind, but you’re wrong.”

“I think you don’t fully grasp what you’re asking for. You don’t eat meat, drinking blood will be a challenge.”

I go to speak but he holds up a hand.

“Still, let’s wait. Let me spoil you some more.”

“I won’t complain there.”

Relaxing into his hold, I wrap myself around him.

“But maybe you’re right…we’ll wait. I don’t have to kill people, right? Do you kill people?”

“I have.”

There is no shame or pride in his voice, just a simple truth.

“Though it’s difficult to drain someone completely, the human body has a lot more blood than you’d expect and we’re distracted when feeding, vulnerable to anything. And while vampires technically don’t follow any laws, we also don’t want to draw attention to ourselves. Far easier to take a sip here and there and leave the human alive.”

“And…the people you’ve killed?”

I hesitate, not because I’m scared of his answer, but because his response won’t change my feelings. And isn’t that so much worse?

“I’m no hero, Golden. I’ve not always been a gentle feeder and anyone I’ve killed has been to defend myself or my family, but I didn’t mourn a single one. Vampire’s don’t like attention.”

“So I wouldn’t have hurt anyone?”

I ask, relieved that at least he isn’t a serial killer.

He kisses the corner of my lips.

“The first few weeks you’re the most vulnerable to these mistakes, you’re hungry and it’s incredibly important to feed. A starved vampire is not a healthy one. But I promise to keep you safe and fed.”

“Is that what happened to Vidar? He stopped eating.”

He shakes his head.

“No. He starved himself due to his apathy, that was different. But enough about vampires for now, Golden. We have more time. Would you like to see my DVD collection?”

Laughter bursts out of me.

“I didn’t expect you to say that. But yeah, of course.”

He chuckles, pulling us both from the bed, and my dick stirs—but in a comfortable, lazy kind of way. Like I’d rather snuggle than rub up against Lucero. I don’t really get it, but as he leads me toward the sofa, I don’t let it bother me.

I just know that, despite all the weird shit, I’m happy. Dying and the pain of turning will be scary. But fate wouldn’t force us to meet just to take us away. We’re fucking soulmates, after all.

Lucero taps the wall next to his huge flat screen TV and a door swings open to reveal the biggest DVD collection I’ve ever seen.

“You really love documentaries—Whoa, do you have…”

My eyes scan across, counting.

“Six special edition box sets of all the Transformers movies? I didn’t even know they had that many editions.”

“My proudest collection.”

Lucero sounds so adorably smug that I can’t stop myself from kissing him on the cheek. Who knew my vampire loved big budget popcorn movies.

“Vampires enjoy collecting, it soothes us. But let’s watch something with less action, we’ve had enough of that for one lifetime.”

And he pops in a documentary about whales.

Soon we’re laying on the sofa—a pillow under Lucero’s head where the armrest is broken—and me on his chest. The room is painted in sea blue, light ripples from between the waves that dance over our bodies. I relax into him, mind drifting to follow the whales deep under water.

“When I was younger…”

Lucero’s voice is a gentle caress.

“The only stories we got were from my parents, storytellers or the theatre.”

“Was it cool?”

“Honestly, I found the whole thing incredibly boring.”

The corners of my mouth bury into my cheeks, and I chuckle.

“Then movies happened and I was enthralled. I loved the spectacle, the special effects blew me away. Never could I even dream of the things shown on the big screen. When I wanted to relax I could watch wildlife documentaries. My favourites are sealife. Seeing the same sea creatures from my youth on the screen made me feel…connected to a world I’ve been separate from for a very long time.”

I shift, stroke his chest and shoulders.

“Even with your soulmates?”

A wrinkle appears between his brows.

“Being immortal is odd, Golden. Especially for a vampire. Unlike the other immortals like mages and demons, vampires don’t hold traditions, we observe and blend in, adopting the ways of that community or culture and then we leave without a single trace. We’re like footprints in the sand washed away by the tide. When I was a young man I never cared about leaving my mark on the world, but when you can’t…well, you start to miss being a part of something bigger.”

“And the sea is one big ecosystem, it’s even connected to the land. So, you’re connected that way. Right?”

Lucero runs his fingers through my hair.

“Something like that, yes.”

In the comfort of my vampire and the lullaby sway of the documentarian’s voice, I wonder if I’ve ever left a mark anywhere. Probably not. I’m not important or clever. I’m not like Kai, Luuk or Apollo, whose tattoos change people’s lives. Yet…

“It’s pretty cheesy, but I’ve always liked making people laugh. Not like I think I’m a comedian, just…I dunno. I get a nice feeling when my friends back at the tattoo studio smile.”

I look up at Lucero.

“I bet you made your other soulmates smile. Same with Rurik and Ramy—maybe even Vidar, once upon a time. And you make me happy, too. I’m pretty certain no one’s building a statue of us anytime soon. But maybe think of that as your mark.”

One of Lucero’s arms tightens around my waist, the other hand cradles my crown as he leans forward for our mouths to meet. It’s not the overwhelming inferno of his usual demanding kisses—this is slow, thankful. Parting my lips, he seeks my every edge. Drinks my every moan and savours my attempt at returning what he gifts me.

When we’re done, my head finds his chest again and we watch dolphins chase down sea lions.

After one episode ends, and another begins, Lucero’s mood shifts away from the comfortable.

“Golden, I have to tell you something.”

Glancing up, I find Lucero’s gaze conflicted. Fear enters me and I try to sit up.

“Is Kai okay?”

“Oh, no, beautiful. He’s fine.”

Lucero gently tugs me back down.

“Oh,”

I breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Then what is it?”

Lucero’s hand runs up and down my back, his other massaging my scalp, relaxing me until I all but melt.

“Rurik found Jace’s phone, love.”

My body goes tense, nausea twisting my stomach.

“Did he…I mean, what did he find?”

From the way Lucero holds me, I know.

“Rurik only saw one picture then handed it to me. I saw what Jace did to you, Golden.”

Under his gentle care is a rage deep enough for whales to swim in.

I’m quiet for so long, my eyes trained on the TV, that another episode ends and starts. How to properly explain what happened? Why I stayed with a monster?

I squeeze my eyes shut. I guess from the start.