Page 17 of Worse Fates (Soulmates Suck #1)

I’m quick to usher Golden back into the mansion when I notice the tip of his nose turning pink. Taking him into one of the smaller, more intimate, living rooms I seat him on an overstuffed burgundy sofa.

Orange embers crackle in the lit fireplace, the scent of woodsmoke gently lacing the air. Through the window, bare trees paint the perfect picture—you could pretend to be in a cabin far away in the woods. And much to Golden’s amusement, I’ve wrapped him in so many knitted cream blankets he resembles a snowy mountain.

“Are you feeling warmer?”

I ask, voice indulgent. His precious little kiss lingering on my lips. It was the smallest of tastes, but how my body starves for another bite.

He pats the seat next to him.

“Lucero, sit down,”

he says, sounding amused and long-suffering.

Once his instructions are followed, Golden unravels one of the blankets to lay over both our laps. While I don’t feel the cold like he does, the act warms me all the same.

However, I notice his bouncing knee.

“What’s making you nervous, Golden?”

I reach for his cheek but hesitate, uncertain where we stand after my apology. But with a quiet mercy he leans into my cupped palm, easing my apprehension.

Gaze softening, my heart swells as my thumb traces the soft curve of his jaw, the tips of my fingers bouncing across his curls. No words could truly encapsulate Golden’s perfection in my eyes, but.

“You are divine,”

will have to be enough.

“I’ve been called a lotta things, but that's…”

His smile is a fragment of something bigger, but shines with a vulnerability he’s kept securely hidden.

“Well, it’s gotta be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said.”

“Oh, Golden.”

I breathe.

“You’re going to have me wrapped around your little finger, aren’t you?”

I don’t mention how my cock thickens at the very idea of Golden laid out, his dark curls a halo on silk pillows, as he shyly details exactly how he yearns to be pleasured.

He chuckles, shrugging one shoulder. But then his brow furrows in confusion as he hugs his middle.

“I’ve never felt this way before, like I’m out of control.”

“Tell me what you’re feeling?”

I push aside my desires, Golden has mentioned this before and his happiness and security comes above all other matters.

Golden shifts, eyes not quite meeting mine.

“An ache, kinda like a bruise but I want more? I’m hot, and a bit like I can’t catch my breath.”

Frowning, everything he describes sounds like.

“You feel aroused?”

“This is what being horny feels like?”

Golden makes a face.

“God, it’s exhausting, how does anyone get anything done?”

I edge closer, keeping a palm on his cheek while guiding his hands to rest on my chest, satisfaction blooming when his tension drains. Soulmates crave connection; Golden appears to feel this need more than anyone I’ve known.

When Golden shared he remained a virgin at twenty-five, I, while surprised, was more than happy to move slower than I have in the past. However, I hadn’t expected he’d never felt desire. But I don’t want Golden to feel judged, or think he’s anything less than utter perfection.

“Everyone is different, beautiful, and we experience the world in different ways,”

I say.

“So, arousal is something new for you?”

“I guess?”

he shrugs.

“I know when people are hot. But… I dunno, attraction has always been like one of those fancy paintings behind glass, it’s nice to look at, but I don’t really get the appeal.”

“Thank you for telling me, love.”

And I brush my lips across his forehead, near bursting with happiness when he cuddles into my chest.

“So, what sexual experience do you have?”

I ask, my tone light, flirting.

Golden rubs the heel of his hand to his forehead, trying to hide his blushing.

“Do we need to talk about this now?”

“We don’t have to.”

He blows out a raspberry.

“Alright, but it’s not much so don’t be disappointed.”

“Never,”

I reply.

“So not sex, but perhaps some playful touching with another?”

He squirms, suddenly finding a fraying piece of string particularly interesting. I take his silence as his answer.

I nod again, hiding my surprise.

“When was your first kiss?”

“About eight minutes ago?”

Golden tries to make it a joke, but his knee continues to bounce.

This time I can’t hide my shock.

“I was your first kiss? You should have said. It should’ve been more special, I would’ve—”

“It was perfect.”

He interrupts, grinning impishly.

“I wouldn’t change it, so you’re not allowed to, either.”

Letting loose a sigh, I brush my lips across his in the gentlest of kisses.

“As long as you’re happy, I suppose.”

He chuckles.

“It was in a garden full of flowers, Lucero. C’mon, how much more romantic could you make it?”

I smirk.

“How does a full orchestra sound?”

He laughs, shaking his head and how my heart doesn’t burst for this man, I’ll never know. For a time we stay wrapped within each other, our foreheads touching, his hand begins to gently stroke my chest.

I press another kiss to each cheek and pull back.

“How often do you touch yourself?”

Chuckling, he returns his head to my chest. But I see a blush kissing the tips of his ears—jealous, I kiss each one, only causing the pink to spill into red.

“A few times.”

“A week?”

He stays silent and I sit back.

“Golden, you’ve only ever masturbated a handful of times?”

“Was that a pun?”

“What?”

I splutter.

“Of course not.”

Golden snorts.

“Alright, so once someone paid me. Then twice when…actually.”

He coughs.

“Forget the other times.”

This piques my interest. I reach for him, carding my fingers through his curls and tilting his head back towards me, delighted when a shiver runs across his skin. The sweet as honey scent of his arousal melting into the warm, woodsy scent of the fireplace.

“Well, now you’ve made me curious, beautiful,”

I drawl, my voice dropping low and seductive.

“and I can be very tenacious when I’m curious.”

His eyes flutter away from me. I run my thumb up and down his pillowed cheeks.

“Tell me,”

I entice, the closed room and low light cocooning us in a secret world.

After a moment, he looks up at me through his impossibly long eyelashes.

“Twice last a few days ago, when I was in a shitty hotel room hiding from you.”

“And you thought of me,”

I growl; leaving no room for my words to be anything but a fact.

“I thought of you,”

he whispers, a little breathless.

The sudden, near feral, need to pull Golden into my lap strains my fingers. I crave to lick the salt from his skin, fill my lungs with his sweet lust. An ache to uncover the softest and hardest and silky smooth parts of his body could take me to my knees; where I’d discover just how much he needs me. But now is not the time, and I cling onto my patience with both hands.

Breathing out through my nose to calm myself, I say.

“The arousal you feel, that sweet ache deep in your gut, I feel it, too.”

“You…you do?”

I nod.

Golden rakes shaking fingers through his hair.

“Kai thought I was asexual.”

I tilt my head, that would explain his lack of desire, but the way he said it I question the truth of his friend’s statement.

“If you are, that's fine.”

His nose scrunches.

“I’m not. I want to have sex with you an embarrassing amount, to be honest. But I know Kai wasn’t right because, well…”

“Because?”

He looks away again and I let him this time, but keep my hand twined into his curls.

“I felt like there was no reason to have sex or watch porn because…there was always this feeling inside me that…well, something would show up. I had no idea what, I just knew that one day ‘something’ would happen. So I was even less fussed about trying sex.”

My eyes darken. Has he always been waiting for me?

“It’s confusing, I know,”

he admits, shoulder slumping.

“But does that make sense?”

“Yes, beautiful. It makes complete sense to me.”

He lets loose a long, relieved sigh.

“I knew you’d understand.”

Possessiveness spikes through my blood like a shot of adrenaline—to have a better understanding of Golden than someone he’s known longer is the deepest satisfaction.

“Kai always says he’s got a one true love, but still sleeps with other men. Obviously I don’t care, but it fucking annoyed me when he thought I was ace. Like he’d made up his mind already.”

“What do you mean, Golden?”

And I stroke his hair, offering all my comfort.

“Everyones always giving me titles,”

he huffs.

“Mixed race, even though I never knew my mum or dad. Orphan, my parents dropped me at a random fire station, so who knows if they’re still alive. Ace. Soulmate. None of them are bad but…”

Golden shakes his head, like he’s trying to dislodge his thoughts to properly explain himself.

“If it ain’t something you get to think about, like explore then claim or toss, how can it actually be yours? Just another bloody hat you’re forced to wear.”

It dawns on me in that moment how suffocated I must’ve made him feel.

“And is that how you felt when I told you we were soulmates?”

He shakes his head.

“I was excited. But then you told me about your other soulmates and… now I’m wearing three more hats. And, well, it makes me feel… how can you want me or I want you?”

Golden nose scrunches adorably.

“Stupid fuckin’ hats.”

“Golden, I’ve done a terrible job of explaining soulmates, so your confusion is my fault. Yes, a soul is unique, a little piece of magic we’re all born with. However, sometimes this piece of magic is shared, like yours. But you are still and will only ever be—you. A life is lived, not passed down.”

“I knew your name though,”

Golden grumbles.

“Magic can linger; and sometimes that magic is a memory. Your life force has been in three other bodies and I’ve known each one,”

I explain gently.

“It’s to be expected.”

“But then why do I want you?”

He bites out.

Grinning, I say.

“You won’t like my answer.”

He juts out his chin. “Try me.”

“Fate.”

He groans, dropping back onto the sofa. “Lucero!”

But he’s smiling, and as long as he’s happy, that’s all I care about.

“We would’ve always found each other, Golden. Fate just helped us along.”

Before he can say more, the door opens, and Rurik comes into view. Golden shoots up and his happiness fades.

“You—you fucking bit me!”