Page 9 of Wolf’s Providence (The Shadowridge Peak #3)

EIGHT

Willow

The room was too quiet, the kind of quiet that made every breath feel as if it was too loud. I sat up in the bed, my legs tucked beneath me, my sketchbook lying forgotten on the covers beside me. The night held a strange stillness to it, like the world was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen.

Even the snow had stopped falling.

I wasn’t sure what time it was, but I knew it wasn’t too late. Time was different here in the bunker. I mean, obviously time wasn’t different, it just seemed to pass differently. Some hours rushed past, while some dragged so slowly I could almost feel the seconds passing.

I’d spent most of yesterday mulling over the shaman’s words. Between his first visit and his second, I wasn’t sure he’d helped. He’d given me a mix of answers and riddles that left me more confused and uncertain than before. The explanation of the bond and the Goddess choosing me, at the time, had made sense. And now…well, now, none of it felt real.

None of it felt like it was me.

But there was something else. Something that I hadn’t been able to shake all day.

My gaze dropped to my lap, where my hands lay, my fingers linked loosely, and it wouldn’t take a doctor to see the slight tremble in them. I’d been feeling the bond more today. It felt like it was changing, morphing into something stronger. I’d tried to push it down, but every time I did, the itch that I couldn’t scratch thrummed under my skin.

It had been subtle at first. I was almost used to the steady hum beneath my skin, but this morning, it started to change. It pulled at the edges of my awareness, like the ghost of a forgotten touch. But throughout the day, it had become more than that.

I could feel him.

Not in the way I felt people when they were close by, but in a deeper, quieter way that was like he was there in the back of my mind. I didn’t know if it was my imagination. Maybe since talking to the shaman, I’d bought into his theories. Or maybe this was real? All I knew was that it felt stronger tonight.

The bond felt alive. I could almost hear it whispering to me that Caleb was nearby.

I closed my eyes to contain the wild hope that surged within me at the thought of him coming here.

Or maybe you’ve finally lost your mind.

Maybe the connection had finally driven me crazy. Did I even know what was real anymore? Between the pain from my injuries, the phantom ache in my chest, and this strange new awareness of Caleb, it was all too much.

Yet, as I sat there, my eyes still closed tightly, I felt it again— him .

His presence was like a shadow stretching across the room, and my heartbeat quickened as a soft flutter of panic and anticipation shot through me.

I wasn’t losing it.

Caleb was close. I would bet my life on it.

The bond tightened and became more insistent. My skin prickled with awareness, and I found myself straightening, smoothing down my hair, hoping it looked decent.

A wave of fear washed over me, and I pressed the palms of my hands against my stomach to soothe the churning in my belly. For days, I’d waited for this moment. I’d feared it, longed for it, and demanded it. Now that I thought it was here? I didn’t know what to do.

Did I want to see him again?

Yes.

The answer came quickly, unbidden, and without thought. A normal person would question it. A normal person would remember the anger, the hurt, and the sense of betrayal. But either I wasn’t normal or I didn’t care. There was more to Caleb and me, and it had been growing ever since the day I first met him.

Opening my eyes, I felt the room become smaller as I struggled to control my racing heart. I could feel the weight of his presence bearing down on me, like the storm building on the horizon, and I knew I wasn’t ready. Pushing the sketchbook further away from me, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, my feet hitting the cold floor with a soft thud.

The air shifted around me, becoming tighter, and my breath caught in my throat. My skin tingled with the awareness of him, the bond humming to life.

He was here.

Before I could even process it all, the door pushed open silently, a slow deliberate push that sent a chill down my spine as the coldness of outside seeped into my room. My blood rushed in my ears as my gaze stayed fixed on the door.

Caleb stood in the doorway, his broad frame filling the space, his face half-hidden in the shadows. His eyes found mine instantly, and for a moment, everything else fell away. The room, the pain, the confusion…it all disappeared, and all that was left was the two of us.

The connection between us snapped into focus, sharper and clearer than ever before. I could feel him. Not just his presence, but his emotions too—faint and distant but there.

His guilt. His anguish. And the raw need that coursed through him.

My chest felt tight as I drank him in, my body a mess of emotions surging inside me all at once.

I didn’t know what to say.

I didn’t know what to do.

I wanted to cross the distance, run to him, throw my arms around him, and never let go, but my mind was screaming to keep my distance.

I saw his eyes darken, his jaw tightening as if he could feel the hesitation, my confusion. He took a deliberate step into the room, murmuring something too low for me to hear as he pushed the door closed, and I wondered who he had locked out. The small sound of the lock clicking echoed in the silence between us.

“Willow,” he greeted me, his voice low and rough around the edges.

Just hearing him say my name sent a shiver down my spine, goose bumps breaking over my skin. I swallowed hard, my throat dry as I struggled to speak. I felt frozen, and I was scared of what would come out if I spoke.

Caleb didn’t seem to expect me to speak. He was looking me over, looking for what? Signs of my injury?

The bond was strumming between us. It felt alive and electric.

Happy.

That jarred me. It really felt like a living thing, pulsing with every beat of my heart. Did he feel this too? Was it as strong for him as it was for me?

I wanted to ask him, and I finally managed to speak, my voice barely a whisper. “Why are you here?”

I felt my eyes widen in shock. That was not what I had thought I was going to say.

Caleb’s eyes flickered with something—regret, maybe? Or shame? It was hard to tell in the shadows, with the light behind him. He took another step forward, carefully, deliberately keeping his movements slow, like he was afraid of scaring me.

Or maybe he was afraid to come closer.

“I needed to see you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I tried…” He blew out a breath. “I tried to stay away, but…” His hands raised and then fell to his sides helplessly. “I couldn’t stay away.”

The air between us was thick and heavy with so many unspoken things. My heart had leapt at his words, but my body had remained rooted to the spot, wary. It knew he had almost killed me. It knew that it was his blood that was the only reason I was still standing. Still breathing. Once more, I saw the wildness in his eyes as he fought his demons that night, never realizing until it was too late, that the only thing he was striking as he fought…was me.

“Should you have come?” Even when the question left my mouth, I knew the answer was yes. I’d been waiting for this. For him. I’d been aching for him no matter how much I wanted to deny it.

“Honestly?” he asked, his voice a low rasp that made me want to drown in it. “I don’t know.” His look was steady as he watched me. “But I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

Did he know what that did to me? That admission of weakness from him? My stubborn body finally gave in, and I took a step forward before catching myself.

“Caleb…” My voice was barely a whisper, and even as his name left my lips, I longed to be closer to him. The distance, the pain, the betrayal…it was all still there, lingering in the space that separated us.

But so was everything else. That primal and desperate need that pulled us together even when I didn’t want to admit it. But I couldn’t deny it.

Caleb’s eyes darkened, and an emotion crossed his face that set my heart to racing. The way he looked at me like I was the only thing that was tethering him to this world was causing havoc within me.

“Caleb…” I took a step back. I had to keep my walls up; at this rate they were in danger of crumbling completely. “Don’t do this to me…”

“What am I doing?” he asked softly, his voice one of confusion and something else, something that reminded me of our time in the car. “I never meant to hurt you,” he spoke softly, gently, but the guilt was heavy. “I’m so sorry.”

My feet reclaimed the step forward, and I no longer knew who was in control, my brain or my heart. The pull towards him was like gravity, impossible to fight as I moved closer.

Now I was right in front of him, so close that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. My heart was pounding out a wild, frantic rhythm that matched the chaos in my mind. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know if I should push him away or pull him even closer. All I knew was I couldn’t stand this distance between us.

Caleb’s gaze dropped to my lips, and my breath caught in my throat.

“Why don’t you hate me?” he murmured, the words sounding harsh as he focused on my mouth. His hand reached out, hesitant, doubting he had the right to touch me, but the pull between us was pulsing.

“I could never hate you, Caleb.” My voice was shaking. It made me sound vulnerable, but he heard the truth in my words. It was true, I didn’t hate him.

His thumb brushed across my cheek, the roughness of his skin sending another shiver down my spine. My body once more betrayed me, leaning into his touch even though I wanted to step back. It was too soon. There was so much more we needed to talk about, but…Caleb was here . He had come back. He was here for me, and the way he was looking at me…

“Willow—”

Before I could second-guess myself, I closed the distance between us. Pushing up on my toes, I pulled his head down at the same time, and my lips crashed against his in a kiss that felt like a mix of desperation and surrender.

The kiss was raw, full of everything we hadn’t said, everything that I hadn’t been able to put into words. Caleb’s hands gripped my waist, pulling me closer, keeping me tight against his hard body as I clung to him. It felt like he was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

His mouth moved over mine, soft but firm, punishing but begging for forgiveness. Our tongues tasted each other, and I felt his hand slip down and squeeze my ass. I wanted to climb his body like a tree. I wanted to lie back and have him claim me once more.

Caleb caught my lower lip between his teeth, and my hands tugged at his hair, the moan drowning in my throat as he lifted me and my legs wrapped around his waist. Caleb turned, and I was pressed against the wall. I felt his hand cup the back of my neck as the other trailed down my side, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind it.

I was gasping as Caleb dipped his head to taste my skin. His lips moved over my neck, nipping at my pulse. My back was pressed even harder into the wall, but the dull ache was nothing as the fire between us consumed me. My hands knotted in his hair, pulling him up, back to my mouth. Our tongues twisted together as the kiss deepened. I felt his warm palm push my shirt up, his fingers skimming over my back and dipping under my pants.

My head tilted back when Caleb’s fingers skimmed over my bare ass, trailing back over my hip to the front, dipping lower, finding my wetness. His groan against my neck as he kissed a scorching trail down my throat was going to be my undoing. I was sure I was going to combust when his thumb brushed over my nipple, and as much as I wanted to lose myself in him, part of me couldn’t forget.

The ache in my abdomen was the memory of what he’d done. As much as I wanted this, it wasn’t that simple.

Breaking the kiss, my breath coming in sharp gasps, I pulled back, my forehead dropping to rest on his shoulder. Caleb’s arms tightened around me for a moment, and then he loosened his grip, letting my legs fall from his waist, and he supported me as I lowered them to the floor.

My fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt, hating myself for stopping but knowing I was doing the right thing. “We can’t…” My voice was throaty, the lingering passion making me sound husky. I pressed my head into his chest. “We can’t pretend that nothing happened.”

“I know, and I don’t want to,” he told me, the strain in his voice evident. He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “But I can’t pretend that I don’t need you. I’ve tried that, and it damn near tore me apart.”

Tilting my head back just enough to be able to look up at him, I could feel my heart still pounding against his. Caleb looked down at me, his eyes searching mine, open and filled with a vulnerability I hadn’t seen before. I knew he was telling the truth. He did need me.

Just as much as I needed him.

But that didn’t make everything okay.

“I don’t think I can trust you,” I told him, hating the way the mask fell over his face so quickly. “I don’t know if I trust us . Or this bond.”

I saw him wince, but he didn’t look away. “I don’t expect forgiveness,” he admitted, standing back, putting space between us. “I know I fucked up. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you trust me, just…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Try not to shut me out.”

I could hear the sincerity in his voice. I couldn’t remember a time when I felt that he was this honest with me. I wanted to cling to it, but I also remembered waking up alone after he had stabbed me with his claws.

“We have a lot to think about,” I told him. “So much to try and make sense of.”

“We do.” He was watching me carefully, waiting for what, I wasn’t sure.

“I think it’s good you’re here,” I told him honestly, “but this”—I waved my hand between us—“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

He nodded, his eyes guarded as he took a small step back, giving me even more space. “Whatever you want.”

If I knew what I wanted, then this would be a heck of a lot easier.

“I truly am sorry I hurt you,” he said, his voice sounding firmer, solider. “It was never…” He pushed his hair back in frustration. “You were never meant to get hurt.”

“I know.” And I did know, it’s what I’d been trying to tell the others. “I know you weren’t yourself when it happened.”

He broke eye contact, his glare fierce as he fixed it on the unoffending nightlight. “It will never happen again.”

I wanted to ask if he was sure, but instead, I simply acknowledged his words with a dip of my head. It felt like a promise, but it didn’t fix anything. He was still haunted, and I was still bonded to him.

“How did you do it?” I asked him, walking back to the bed and leaning against it, glad I no longer sounded like a panting hussy.

“Do what?” Caleb asked me carefully.

“Heal me.” I kept my gaze trained on him, ready to read his tells. Not that he had many. “How did you know your blood would save me?”