Page 8 of Wolf’s Providence (The Shadowridge Peak #3)

SEVEN

Caleb

The wind whipped through the trees, sharp and biting, like a warning. I pushed forward anyway, the burning in my legs a welcome distraction as the rough terrain tried to slow me down. I welcomed the pain and needed the burn to keep me grounded.

Because if I stopped, if I let myself think for even a moment, everything would crash down on me, and I would turn back.

I didn’t want to turn back.

Now that I had made my mind up, I wanted to see Willow. I knew she would be pissed at me—hell, I was pissed at me—but I knew my girl would be fucking righteous in her rage, and I was ready for it.

The forest thinned ahead, the path opening into a clearing bathed in pale moonlight, the silver of the moon reflecting off the crisp white snow. The sight made me pause. My breathing was hard as I leaned against a tree. I caught my breath as I took in the beautiful scenery in front of me. The serenity that spread out in front of me, sheltered from the wind, brought me a moment of peace. When my breathing was back to normal, I felt for the thread that connected me to Willow. It was there, waiting patiently for me to pull at it, and all the while, it was tugging gently as if it was trying to reel me back in.

It had been doing that for days.

Was it Willow wanting me to return to her? The thought gave me hope, but at the same time, I felt myself get frustrated at the thought. My hand curled into a fist as I reminded myself that I didn’t deserve her.

I didn’t deserve this connection to her, to know she was waiting for me, despite everything I’d done. I wasn’t worthy of her. I had hurt her. Lost control and gave into the darkness inside me, and the beast had nearly killed her.

You should have killed her.

The thought tore through me, sharp and unforgiving, and I grit my teeth as I forced the thoughts back.

Forced the darkness back.

My fist slammed into the tree trunk I had been resting against, the bark splintering in protest. Pain ricocheted up my arm, but it was still overshadowed by the guilt that clawed up and twisted at my insides.

Closing my eyes, I tried to steady my breathing once more, this time for reasons much different than why I stopped. Willow’s face swam in front of me, the terror and fear in her eyes as she looked up at me as tears of pain spilled over, the way her body had gone limp in my arms as I held her close to me.

I hadn’t been ready to let her go.

She didn’t deserve to die. She’d never deserved any of this. The moment my blood entered her, I knew I’d gone too far. The second I whispered the words, I knew I had crossed a line that I would never come back from.

My life for hers, I was okay with that.

And yet, here I was, still alive. Still breathing.

Still fighting.

And so was she .

The bond between us hummed, stronger now than it had been before. I found when I thought of her, it got stronger, encouraging me towards her. I could feel her, like a whisper in the back of my mind, and sometimes it soothed me, and sometimes it only made my guilt worse.

I took a step into the clearing, the snow crunching under my boots. Should I have stayed away? Probably. I should have run so far that even this bond couldn’t pull me back to her.

But…I couldn’t. Staying away from her seemed to be impossible. How many times had I tried? Something always kept me coming back to her. Dragging me back to her, forcing me to face the one thing I didn’t want to accept.

I needed her.

That thought alone made me want to tear the world apart. I was an alpha , I didn’t need anyone. I was a shifter—strong, wild, and stronger than most. My lips curled in a snarl, a low growl emanating from me as I once more pushed down the dark thoughts.

Willow… Well, she wasn’t just anyone. She was human. Fragile. The exact kind of person that shouldn’t hold my attention.

Weak.

I should have stayed away from her. But I hadn’t.

And then the Goddess made sure that I couldn’t.

I cut a straight path through the snow, my thoughts in turmoil as the two parts of me warred with themselves. I briefly wondered if that would be my life from now on, never knowing which part of me was in control. If I even knew what control was.

The shaman’s words were also a constant presence, sticking to my head like a thorn in my side that I couldn’t dig out. He told me the Goddess had chosen Willow to save me.

I scoffed in the quiet of the night. I saved Willow that night. Yes, Luna blessed the magic, but it was my actions that saved her. My blood.

My blood kept her alive, and because of that, she would never be free of me.

Or me her.

The very idea of it should grate, but it didn’t. A small part of me hoped what the shaman hoped. That by saving Willow, I had somehow saved myself. I’d spent ten years fighting against the wildness, keeping my rage at bay for what I’d lost. Ten years I had been in control. Now, through my own actions, I was tethered to someone who needed me.

Wasn’t that the irony? I was bound, by the blessing of the Goddess, to Willow, and there was no escape.

My gaze lifted skyward. The moon hung low, half-hidden by the clouds, its pale light showing me the way. I had the urge to flip it the finger. A swirl of wind caught me, causing me to almost lose my balance, and I could hear the laughter on the wind. Frustration boiled inside me, but instead of raging against the Goddess, I clenched my jaw.

This was how I was going back to her? Furious, frustrated, and wanting to howl at the moon? Willow deserved so much more. She’d been dragged into my darkness and into this world that would rip her apart if she let it.

If I let it.

Blowing out a deep breath, I wondered how I would keep her safe. Again, my inner voice argued with me, telling me she was supposed to be safe the further she was away from me, but I wasn’t listening anymore.

I’d failed her once, and now she was a part of this mess, bound to me, in ways neither of us fully understood.

The best way to keep her safe was to keep her with me. The Goddess and the shaman both thought this was the answer, and who was I to argue with the divine and her vessel?

That didn’t stop the rising panic that was threatening to crush me. These last few months, I had let myself be ruled by my emotions, even when I never realized it. My anger had been simmering for so long below the surface, I hadn’t recognized the danger until it was too late. I accepted the beast within myself, I knew it would always be there, and I knew I had a fight on my hands to wrestle back control.

This was who they wanted to go back to her? This was what I was laying at her door, and part of me felt even guiltier for knowing I would do it anyway.

Because the bond was growing every day. It was no longer a thread between us—it was a lifeline.

I also needed to be honest with myself. I needed to see her. I needed to see her with my own eyes, to see the look on her face when she saw me. Because I knew I had to face what I’d done, and maybe—Luna willing—I could figure out how to make things right.

As much as I hated to admit it, and I would probably deny it if asked, the shaman had been right about one thing. Without Willow, I was lost. And if I was lost now, then it would only be a matter of time before I was lost for good.

Looking up to the sky, I watched the last of the moon get swallowed by clouds. Walking in amongst the trees, I felt my steps get heavier than before. Blackridge Peak packlands weren’t far. I could already sense the edges of their territory, the subtle shift in the air, as I got closer to their land.

I didn’t know what I was going to say to her when I saw her again. I expected her to not want to see me, and after everything, I wouldn’t blame her if she refused to talk to me. But the bond between us wouldn’t let me stay away, and I could only hope that when I faced her, she was willing to listen.

The tall shifter Ned was waiting at the bottom of the mountain. I wasn’t mistaken, he was definitely waiting for something, and I didn’t need to guess at who he was waiting for.

He looked me over coldly, his sniff both derisive and dismissive. “Knew you wouldn’t stay away for good.”

“Disappointed?” I asked as I came to a stop a few feet from him.

“Disappointed I didn’t have to travel to your packlands? Nah.”

“Why would you be coming to Shadowridge Peak?” I decided to be casual, countering his barely restrained aggression.

“Because you need a good ass-kicking for what you’ve done to her.” He pushed the sleeves of his sweater up. “I don’t mind taking this one for the pack.”

“You’re seriously waiting at the bottom of Blackridge to kick my ass?” I asked, barely believing the words leaving my mouth.

“Damn right I am,” he growled. And before I could respond, he lunged, his fist cutting through the air in a blur, aimed straight at me.

I barely ducked in time, his fist grazing the air an inch from my jaw. The momentum threw him off balance, but he recovered fast, circling me with the kind of ease that said he’d been waiting for this moment.

“What the hell, Ned?” I shouted, raising my hands defensively, my instincts kicking in.

“You’re reckless, Caleb!” he barked, advancing again. “Do you even think about what you left behind?”

This time, I caught his next punch, the impact vibrating through my arm as I shoved him back. “I was doing what was best,” I snarled, furious I had to explain myself to him .

“You don’t get it, do you?” He shook his head, his lips curling in frustration. “She’s not some passenger in your life, Caleb. She’s part of it. You’re dragging her into this mess and then expecting her to survive it alone!”

I stared at him, his words striking deeper than his fists could. For a second, the tension hung between us, charged and volatile.

“You think I don’t know that?” I growled, stepping closer. “You think I don’t wake up every damn day knowing I’m the reason she’s in this position?”

“Then do something about it!” he roared, shoving me hard in the chest, knocking me back a step.

I stood there, chest heaving, as the truth in his words settled like a weight on my shoulders.

Ned dropped his fists, his voice quieter but no less cutting. “She’s stronger than you think, but she’s human, Caleb. She has limits.”

I nodded once, swallowing hard. “You done now?”

“No.”

The punch landed squarely on my jaw, snapping my head to the side. Pain flared instantly, a sharp realization of just how much strength Ned could pack into a single blow. Before I could recover, his follow-up—a short jab to my cheekbone—connected with brutal precision.

The crunch of bone echoed through the night, and I stumbled back a step, tasting blood as it filled my mouth. My wolf growled, pacing beneath my skin, but I forced it back, refusing to let instinct take over.

“Feel that, Caleb?” Ned demanded, his voice a low growl. He was circling me now, his fists still raised. “That’s reality, punching you in the face. Wake the hell up!”

I spat blood onto the frozen ground, straightening with a grimace. “You done playing hero, or are you just getting started?” I muttered, rolling my shoulders.

Ned shook his head, his expression dark. “Not even close.” He lunged again, and I barely had time to dodge his next punch, the air hissing as his fist whizzed past my ear.

“Dammit, Ned!” I snarled, swinging back on reflex. My fist connected with his side, the impact enough to make him grunt, but he barely flinched. “I don’t want to hurt you!”

“You think this is about me?” he snapped, stepping in close and slamming his shoulder into mine, sending me sprawling backward into the snow.

I scrambled to my feet, wiping the blood from my lip with the back of my hand. “You think I don’t know what I’m doing?”

“That’s the problem, Caleb. You don’t!” His voice was raw, shaking with fury. “You’re about one bad decision away from losing it completely.”

I exhaled sharply, the fire in my chest simmering down as the weight of his words sank in. “Fine,” I muttered, my voice rough as I straightened. “Point made.”

Ned smirked faintly, though his eyes were still hard. “Good. Next time, maybe I’ll let you get the first hit.”

“Next time, maybe I’ll actually take it,” I shot back, wiping the blood off my lip again.

And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing in the cold, the echoes of his words burning hotter than the fight ever could.

She may be human, but Willow had a loyal pack behind her. I wondered if she even knew that. Spitting blood onto the snow once more, I felt the magic of Luna heal, and I started the climb up the mountain.

The black wolf was waiting for me, and I didn’t slow as I approached the alpha of Blackridge Peak. Brilliant blue eyes watched me get closer, but I felt no malice.

“Alpha Cannon,” I greeted as I stopped a few feet from him. “It’s a cold night.”

The wolf didn’t blink. Instead, he walked around me, his muzzle too close to my neck for my liking, but I held my ground. I’d pissed him off, I knew that. He was an alpha protecting his pack.

I got it, I did. But still…

“You sniff me much more, and I will begin to question your loyalty to your mate.”

Large jaws snapped dangerously close to my ear, and then he shifted to his human form. The fact Cannon was taller than me hadn’t pissed me off until now.

“You done?”

“You come into my packlands, after what you did, with an attitude?”

He had a point. But also…fuck him. “Where is she?”

“I need to tell her you’re here?—”

“She knows.” I watched as he pulled on sweatpants and a hoodie, zipping it over his naked chest, the cold not bothering him at all. “She can feel me as much as I feel her.”

Cannon considered my words and then sniffed dismissively. “I don’t give a fuck. I will ask her if she wants to see you.”

“Fine.” I walked towards the bunker when the alpha took hold of my arm and pulled me to a halt.

“You will wait here.”

With a sharp twist of my body, I dislodged his hold. “You will kindly fuck off.” I saw his eyes narrow and spoke over whatever protest he was about to give me. “I’ve already had a welcoming party; I’m pissed off and haven’t punched your pack out of respect for you , but do not push me.” I held my hand up, stopping his next words. “You know what’s between us. You know what I am.” I waited for his nod of acknowledgment. “I’m going to see her. You’re welcome to be there, but I see her now .”

“You order me in my own territory?”

Rolling my head on my shoulders, I considered my next words carefully. “It’s not an order; I am requesting you to be beside me when I see her.” I let that sink in. “I’m asking for you to be there.”

“And I will be, but don’t you think she needs some warning first? The choice to decide if she is ready to talk to you?”

“I don’t have time for her to think about it,” I muttered as we both resumed walking.

“Scared she’s going to say no?”

“Fucking terrified.”

That earned me a chuckle from Cannon, and I was glad he hadn’t pushed the order that I was to remain behind. He wasn’t someone I wanted as an enemy. He wasn’t someone I would want as a friend either, but an ally? I could use an ally like Cannon.

My fight wasn’t only to get Willow to forgive me, I still needed to know who hunted her. And why. The more help I had in that, the better. For Willow. And all I cared about right now was Willow.

“How do you feel?” Cannon asked me, his tone casual, his scent anything but.

“With my fingers.”

He hesitated and then I heard his chuckle. I didn’t dodge the punch to my arm. “Asshole.”

I let the smile slip out in the darkness, knowing full well the alpha could see it.

“So? I’m waiting,” he pressed.

“I feel like shit,” I told him the truth. “Every day is a battle.”

Silence enveloped us as we walked. “You’re still fighting,” he murmured. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Is it?” I glanced upward as the moon came out of hiding. “She seems to think so,” I told him, pointing to the moon.

“Then you must be doing something right,” he said calmly. “Willow is healing well.”

“Good.”

“She still feels the pain,” he added with no softness, but I’d learned quickly that wasn’t his style. “Her wounds healed quickly, alarming for a human, I would add.” I felt the weight of his side-eye but said nothing.

“The pain?”

“Doc thinks it’s her body’s way of trying to deal with the healing.”

I glanced at him. “By making her feel the pain as if she was still suffering?”

Cannon shrugged. “I don’t know. I know little about human pain, but it seems unfair that she gets healed but still has to suffer the phantom pain.”

I felt my knees weaken, the reality at his bluntness resonating more than I expected. Phantom pain . I knew exactly what that was. The feeling of being healed on the outside but still torn apart on the inside. It was a cruelty that I’d never imagined she would have to bear.

“Like she’s being punished…” I said, more to myself than to Cannon. My voice was low, broken. The idea that she was being made to feel pain because of me—that it may be some twisted consequence of our bond—cut deep.

Cannon didn’t say anything for a moment, but when I glanced at him, I saw the same doubt flickering in his eyes that mirrored my own.

We exchanged a look, the question hanging between us. I once more cast a glance to the heavens, to the pale moon hidden behind the shifting clouds. The shaman had said this was Luna’s Will, but was it her Will to make Willow suffer? I was no longer sure.

Maybe Luna wasn’t as aligned as the shaman implied.

The doubt gnawed at me, dark and insidious. What if her pain wasn’t just a side effect of the healing? What if it was something more deliberate? A cosmic test, or…Goddess forbid, a punishment? For my sins? For what I’d done?

My fists clenched tightly at my sides as the familiar anger rose inside me, hot and sharp. If that was true…if the Goddess was making her suffer because of me, then…then what the hell was the point? What was the point in saving her if she was going to have to live with the pain? Willow already lived with pain, and she didn’t need any more of it.

Cannon picked up on my tension. “Maybe it’s just a side effect that will fade,” he told me, his voice gentler. “Maybe it’s just…maybe it’s what happens when someone gets caught in something they shouldn’t.”

I didn’t respond to him, and I didn’t think he expected me to. I knew deep down that this wasn’t just something that happened. Not when it came to Willow. This was bigger than the blood I’d given her or the bond we shared.

This felt a lot like fate. My top lip curled. This was the Goddess’s Will. Maybe Ned and Cannon were right; maybe I’d dragged Willow into something that she was never meant to endure.

But I was the one she was tied to. And now I had to find a way to make it right.

For her.