Page 23 of Wolf’s Providence (The Shadowridge Peak #3)

TWENTY-TWO

Caleb

She was asleep, and I was outside, sitting on her back step, watching the woods, my wolf prowling beneath my skin, agitated and eager to return to Shadowridge Peak.

I welcomed the cold stone on my ass. It grounded me and kept me from spiraling as the realization solidified in my mind.

This had never been just about Willow. They were after my land.

My territory.

In hindsight, it seemed so obvious. I had suspected on the Peak that they wanted my land. I just had the wrong set of shifters. I never thought of those who lived on the cusp of our society. Why would I? I’d had little to do with them. When I was part of a pack, I knew of them, but since I’d been alone, I gave no thought to what they were.

Outcasts.

But that had been all they were. Why did they want my mountain now?

Scowling in the dark, I considered it. Was it because I’d been gone from the mountain for so long? Were they already there?

No…no one had been in those cabins. If the outcasts had taken or tried to take my land, there would’ve been signs of their intrusion.

So, what had changed? What had prompted them to think they could exploit my weakness, my grief, and take what was mine?

Willow?

She was right. They’d seen her as a way to get to me. Thinking they could use her to break me. A low growl rumbled in my throat so feral it echoed through the trees around me.

But then I thought of Willow’s face when I helped her stand earlier. The way she’d looked at me, her eyes wide, almost fearful.

My knuckles cracked in the silence of the night as I flexed my hands. She’d stepped back because I scared her. The shifter that grabbed her may have been a threat, but to her, I’d come off as the real danger. She’d felt it—felt the weight of my anger simmering under my skin, the barely contained fury of my wolf that would have shredded anyone who came near her.

And because of that, she’d looked at me like I was one of them .

Little did she know I was barely holding on to the thin threads of my control as it was, and if she knew just how fragile my hold was…I didn’t even want to think about it. She was already looking at me differently. I wasn’t sure I could take more.

My head turned north, my gaze on the horizon to the peak I couldn’t see but that drew me to it.

I could go…

I needed space, a chance to pull myself back, to get a grip on the control I was holding on to so desperately. I could check out the mountain, ensure their sniveling hides hadn’t set foot on Shadowridge, and center myself.

My instincts were to protect Willow, but instinct wasn’t enough—I needed to shield her from the darker side of me as well. She shouldn’t be their target, and she should never feel unsafe in her home. I didn’t want that for her, and I didn’t want to be the one responsible for her fear.

The thought of her soft body moving under mine filled my head. The husky moans she made when I fucked her willing body…a body that was always ready for me. She felt so right when I was holding her. Caring for her.

Loving her.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, willing myself to get a grip. I’d have to keep my distance just for now, let her know that I was giving us both space. Healthy relationships survived distance. Right? If anything, it showed her I wasn’t one to hover. I would never smother her or push her. She and I, we could survive this. But this was bigger than her and me, and I didn’t want her to become collateral damage.

I could go back to Shadowridge Peak, secure the mountain, remind it who its alpha was, and come back. It would be a few days at most. Eamon would stay close by so she wouldn’t be alone. Hell, she had her friends around her most of the time. Her own pack. She probably wouldn’t even miss me, and she may want some space between us too.

Off of Shadowridge Peak, I was weak. Soft. I’d been away from it for too long. Ten years away from my packlands hadn’t done me any favors. The truth was that I couldn’t protect her as I was…and without control, I couldn’t protect her from myself.

Standing, I went back into the house, locking the door behind me. Moving with a careful step, I entered the kitchen, and with my hip against the counter, I watched the night sky. It was a clear night, very few clouds, and the moon was merely a sliver of silver in the sky. The stars dotted the blanket of night with tiny pinpricks of light.

The view on the ridge would be breathtaking. The view I had from here was muted, tarnished with smog and pollution. I kept my gaze on the moon, hoping for some guidance from Luna.

But all I could sense was Willow. A steady warmth pulling me in, as unshakable as a shaman’s faith in his Goddess. I wanted to go to her, but… But I didn’t trust myself around her. Not when I knew just how thin the line was between protecting her and hurting her.

I would never forget that night my claws sank into her soft flesh. The look of love in her eyes as I held her broken body. The forgiveness she gave me so freely, which I had no right to claim.

Now look at me, right back there again. What might I do to her if I couldn’t keep my instincts in check? Willow was human, living in a world of normalcy. And here I was, throwing her into danger at every turn. She had enough to deal with in life without me adding to the list.

I paused outside her bedroom door, my hand resting on the doorknob. As I pushed the door open gently, my wolf sight could make out her silhouette as she slept, curled on her side. I could hear her deep regular breathing, no doubt exhausted from the events of the day.

My chest tightened at the sight of her.

So innocent.

So vulnerable.

As familiar to me as the scent of pine and soil.

I wanted to be in bed with her, holding her, telling her that nothing could ever come between us. That no force on earth or territory scheme could touch her with me by her side. But deep down, I knew Willow wasn’t the type of woman who wanted promises of safety. She wanted something that was slipping out of my hold.

Control .

I knew that I wasn’t as steady as I could be right now. As I should be.

The worst part was knowing she could feel my pull to Shadowridge Peak. She was seeing it more and more, the strain it was taking to be here, in this life with her, when it was so vastly different from what I was used to. Or needed.

First, I needed to handle the threat to her, one way or another. They needed to know she wasn’t bait. They needed to be challenged, but mostly, they needed put down.

Willow sighed in her sleep, her hand reaching out to search for me as she slept. How easily she had adapted to me in her bed. She murmured in her slumber. It was low, even too low for me to hear clearly, but it sounded a lot like my name. Pulling off my shirt, I gently kicked off my boots, getting ready for bed.

One night. One last night.

Tomorrow, I’d tell her I needed to leave for a while, maybe think of a reason that wouldn’t make her doubt me or my commitment to her. My wolf snorted his discontent at the idea, fighting me even as I fought it. Leaving Willow felt wrong and unnatural, but dragging her further into this would only make it worse.

I couldn’t protect her alone on Shadowridge Peak.

“Caleb?” Her voice was thick with sleep, but she turned towards me as I folded my jeans over the back of a chair. “Why are you up?”

“Getting some water,” I lied smoothly. “I’m coming back in now,” I promised. When I slid into bed, she moved into me so willingly, so full of trust, it almost erased the memory of her stepping back from me today, fear in her eyes.

Almost.

“I had a strange dream,” she murmured, snuggling into my embrace as I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. “You were alone and needed me.” Her yawn was wide, making her voice sound even huskier when she spoke next. “Isn’t that silly, that you would need me?” A soft chuckle later, she was back asleep, and I wondered if she would remember her story in the morning or if she had still been deep in sleep’s thrall when she’d woke looking for me.

Either way, it wasn’t something she would need to think about soon.

Holding her close, like the precious thing she was, I closed my eyes and willed sleep to come.

Walking into the kitchen the next morning, I found her leaning over the counter, her eyes on the woods beyond her home, stirring a cup of coffee, a light frown on her brow. The early morning light painted soft shadows across her face. She heard me approach and looked up, a soft smile on her lips. I could let myself forget there was anything wrong if I just focused on that smile, I thought, as I approached her.

“Do you know, before I met you…met you properly, as in, spends all my time with you, that I rarely drank coffee. I prefer tea. But being with you, twenty-four seven, now I drink coffee in the morning.” She looked down at her cup. “Isn’t that the weirdest thing?”

“Weird?” Leaning over, I picked up her cup and took a drink of her coffee. “No? But I do like how you drink your coffee exactly like mine.” I dodged away from the grab of her hand trying to reclaim her cup. “I’ll drink this, you make yourself a pot of tea. You’re drinking what I drink for easiness. Get your tea leaves out. Enjoy your morning cup of tea.”

I could see her contemplating my words. I could see her considering the argument, and then I saw her simple acceptance I was right. A few minutes later, she was brewing tea leaves in her teapot.

I cleared my throat, feeling the words tighten and twist in my throat, but I couldn’t not do this. “Willow, we need to talk.”

Her body stilled, her teapot forgotten, looking at me with something shifting in her eyes. “Okay.” Pulling out a chair, she sat down, her gaze fixed on mine. “What is it?”

Why had this been so much easier in the shower?

The small distance between us felt like miles. Breaking eye contact, I looked away, immediately chastising myself for showing weakness.

“You saw what happened yesterday,” I began, my voice low. “As we thought, they came after you when they thought you were alone. And now we know why they’re doing it.” I avoided her gaze, focusing on the slight scar she had just above her right eyebrow. “They want Shadowridge Peak and they’re willing to go through you to get it. Which means they’ll keep coming for you unless I do something about it.”

Willow’s brows knit together, darkening her response. “So…what does that mean? What happened with the guy from yesterday?” There was a nervous edge to her voice, like she already knew the answer but was asking anyway.

“He won’t bother you again.”

This time, she was the one who looked away. “And your friend, the guy who helped?”

“Eamon is still here. He’s going to be here for a while yet.”

“Why?”

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of what I was about to say settle into my chest. “It means…I need to leave, Willow. At least for a while.”

The words hit like a punch, and her face froze. “Leave? Caleb, what are you talking about?” She leaned forward, her voice thick with worry. “How is leaving supposed to fix this?”

“I’ll be close,” I said quickly, the words tumbling out before I could second-guess them. I didn’t want her to think I’d abandon her completely—not yet, not ever. “But if I’m not here, they won’t be able to use you against me. And it’ll give me space to figure out why they’re doing this, why now, and why they’re targeting me so intensely.”

I raked a hand through my hair, the frustration building, clawing at my control. I hated this—hated the idea of leaving her, of not being able to protect her with my own two hands—but the gnawing, primal instinct inside me was screaming for distance. “You’ll be safer if I’m not around, Willow. And right now, that’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Her jaw tightened, and I could see the spark of fury in her eyes before she even spoke. “They attacked me because they thought you weren’t here! You leaving means they’ll know you aren’t here!” She walked towards me, her voice rising with every word. “If you want to keep me safe as you claim, then that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me, Caleb.”

Her words were full of disbelief, but I held her gaze, refusing to back down. My flat look seemed to make her flush with anger, but she didn’t waver.

“And the fact one of them is now dead means their anger and focus is only on me ,” I said sharply, the growl in my voice barely contained. My wolf prowled beneath the surface, demanding I make her understand, demanding I assert control over this conversation—over her.

Her breath hitched, and for a moment, I thought she might step back, but she didn’t. She stood firm, her chin lifted in defiance. “Then why not stay?” she asked, her voice quieter now but no less determined. “If they’re coming for you, you’re the best defense I have. We’re the best defense I have.”

I shook my head, turning away from her sharp logic. “You don’t get it, Willow. If I stay, they’ll push harder. They’ll use you to get to me, and that’ll break me. It’s not just about protecting you—it’s about making sure I can still fight. If you’re in their hands…” My voice cracked, and I swallowed hard, the thought unbearable.

“It won’t come to that,” she said softly, and I hated how much I wanted to believe her.

But I couldn’t.

I exhaled heavily, dragging my hands through my hair again. “This isn’t just a fight, Willow. It’s a claim. They want to destroy everything…everything I am. And if I can’t hold onto my control…” I stopped myself, not wanting to say the rest, not wanting to admit that part of me already felt like it was slipping. “This is the best thing to do.”

Her mouth opened, then closed, her gaze hardening. “And you think that’s up to you to decide?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Caleb, I…I chose to be where you are. I know what’s at risk. Do you really think you can protect me better from a distance?”

My chest ached at her words, but the beast in me refused to yield. The part of me tied to the territory, to my packlands, was louder than ever. It demanded action, separation, dominance.

“I’ll be close,” I said again, the words hollow now. My feet already felt as though they were moving without my permission, pulling me away from her.

Worry filled her eyes, and as she stepped toward me, her voice was low. “Caleb, are you sure this is right? It doesn’t feel right.”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I know that every time I’m near you, I feel like I’m one wrong step from losing control.” I forced myself to look at her, to let her see the truth in my eyes. “You looked at me yesterday, and you were afraid. And I can’t live with that, Willow. Not when I know that stepping back might be the only way to keep you safe.”

Her face softened, the anger and worry giving way to something else, something deeper. She reached across the counter, her hand brushing mine, and for a second, I thought maybe I could stay. Maybe I could keep it all together for her sake.

But I knew that wasn’t the truth. And maybe, deep down, she did too.

“I know you’ve made your mind up. I can see it,” she said finally, as I moved my hand away, her voice small but steady. “But don’t think I accept this.” She pushed away from the counter, walked to the sink, and turned the faucet on to rinse her cup. “You’re going back to Shadowridge Peak?”

“I have to.”

“The place where all your demons dwell?”

“If you want to describe it that way…”

As she looked at me over her shoulder, I saw the fury return in her eyes. “I thought ‘the place that turns you batshit crazy’ was too harsh.” Turning back to me, she grabbed a dishcloth and wiped her hands dry. “But that is where you almost lost yourself, where you’re at most risk, so I’ll ask again…why are you going back to Shadowridge Peak?”

“The mountain calls to me.”

My wolf rumbled with unease, but the other part of me, the darker part, was already stretching out, eager for the solitude of the mountains.

She gaped at me and then threw her head back and laughed. “No. Nuh-uh, you’re not going there without me. Your darkness will eat you up with a spoon and ask for seconds.”

“You’re not coming with me. It’s too dangerous,” I snapped.

“Which is exactly why I’m going.”