Page 34 of Wild Like Us

Hey, I’ll take any jab at my phone and workaholic nature, especially since half the car ride has been spent in excruciatingly hot silence. Awkward shit that I could hardly bear. Her virginity statement was the first time where I sincerely didn’t know how to answer. So the silence is my fault.

The other half of the journey here was spent in something more familiar. Easy, friendly banter, but it kept dying on impact with each hour. Like it had a constant expiration date.

I prefer teasing her because it feels like Sulli and I are on a path towards rebuildingsomething.But it might be too much to ask for it to travel back to how it used to be. Before the funhouse.

I’m good at jugglingeverything.At managing time. Split between being a leader and a friend and someone’s short-term date, the almost-boyfriend, but I can barely pinpointwhenit all changed between me and Sulli.

I’ve been rapidly trying to bandage something between us since before last week. Shit, even before Scotland when she had a boyfriend. Maybe it was sometime around Greece.

When she was questioning what we are to each other, and my emphasis and reassurance of our friendshipnever felt like enough.

Near me, Banks shuts the driver-side door. Stretching his arms above his head, he tells Sulli, “Take the new policy up with the boss.”

Sulli is tying her Timberland boot. While I put the nozzle in the tank, her green eyes rise to mine. She says, “You work too fucking much.”

I work more now than I used to, and Sulli was the first one to notice the difference. But I’m building something beyond myself, and it takes time. Energy.

I begin to smile. “You curse too much.”

She stands up and nods her chin at me. “You lick your lips too much.”Did not know that.

“You worry too much,” I counter.

Banks smiles softly at that one, then pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his jeans.

I’m quick to steal the carton. “Yousmoke too much.” I chuck it into the garbage beside the gas pumps.

He rests a tensed hand on the Jeep. “We all have vices; you don’t see me throwing yours in the trash.” His gaze pins on my ringing cellphone.

“Mine isn’t killing me,” I say in a friendly tone.

Sulli grabs her wallet. “That we know of.” Her voice sounds icier with me, and I deserve the arctic storm. Part of melikeswhen she’s all frost because it’s better than nothing.

I want her anger over apathy.

Is that bad?

Yeah.Because I shouldn’t want to enrage Sulli.

Shit, I am an asshole.Banks is right.

“It’snotkilling me,” I say again. “I can easily go without answering it.”

Banks and Sulli watch as I let the call ring out in the next three seconds.

“See?” Though, on instinct, I pull out the phone to see which call I missed.

Fuck.

I need to call them back.Likenow.When I look up, they both can read my expression too well.

Banks is near laughter.

“You were saying?” Sulli jokes, her smile peeking.

I smile, then glance at Banks and laugh. I shove his arm. He tries to capture my phone and toss it in the trash. We side-arm wrestle, shoving more, grunting, and then with one hand to his chest, I hold the cell behind my back.

“I love you, Banks, but you trash this, you die.”