Page 136 of Wild Like Us

Which almost annihilated me.

And shockingly, it was a euphoric annihilation. Not a resentful, angry, pissed off one. I almost heat up remembering it all. And yeah, I wished I could’ve been the one between her legs, but I liked being against her lips. Kissing her.

Touching her.

It didn’t feel like I was losing anything. Just a part of something more. Something she enjoyed, he enjoyed—I enjoyed.

Plus, I hate that Banks is so hung-up on his shitty firsts. He deserves to be happy—and shit, it makes me happy seeing him have a good time and even having a good time with him. Last night was fun.

I’m feeling the moment out.

New experiences don’t send me hitch-hiking backwards. I’m not as free as the wind as Banks, but I try to kick myself out of my comfort zone. If I stayed in there, I’d never do half the things I’ve done.

Give and take punches and kicks for Muay Thai. Bungee jumping with my dad at fourteen. Open a gym at eighteen. Snowboard black diamonds. Swim with sharks with the Meadows family.

Chase after Sulli.

Some piece of me wishes I could be a cocky asshole and say,she loves me more than him. I have this in the bag.

But I don’t think I do. In order for me not to go out of my mind, I try to stop looking at this like a competition.

I just want to have this time with her.

At the small-town mountain store, Sulli breathes easier with my reassurance. She rifles through a bowl of Montana stickers. She’s one hundred percent looking for a gift for Winona.

I spin a rack of postcards next to Sulli, then take one out and flick it on her nose.

She tries hard not to match my smile. “You don’t want to start a nose-flicking competition with me. I’ll beat your ass, and then you’ll pout.”

“But I thought you loved winning against me?” I flick her nose again.

She steals the postcard. “Yeah, because you’re the biggest sore loser I know. Victory is that much sweeter when you whine—”

“I don’twhine,” I scoff with a smile.

“You whine.” She grins.

I glance at her lips more than once.

She bites the bottom one. “Fuck.” She turns her head away from me.

My pulse skips. “What’s wrong, Sul?” I tilt my head.

Sulli peeks up at me through her long brown hair. “Sometimes I think I was dreaming it—you and me together—and then you look at me like that, and I remember it’s real.” She inhales a bigger breath. “It’s pretty fucking overwhelming, but you probably know what this feels like already.”

I’m confused. “What do you mean?”

“A friend-turned-lover.” She cringes at her sudden use oflover.

I smile, “You don’t want to be my lover?”

“Kits,” she groans. “You know what I mean.”

“Okay, lover.”

“Fuck off.” She snaps the postcard to my nose.

We both laugh.