Page 147 of Wife After Wife

Harry didn’t respond straightaway. “I’m good at cuddles,” he said eventually. Then, preferring not to delve further into her past just yet, he said, “Anyway, I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked up rather an appetite. And seeing as a table at one of England’s finest restaurants is probably right now being laid with a confusing array of cutlery just for us, we should perhaps get ourselves down there.”

•••

“Use that one,” Harry said, pointing to a small fork.

Caitlyn smiled. “I know, Harry. I’m not quite the street urchin I made myself out to be.” She lifted a morsel of food to her mouth. “Oh my god. I have never tasted anything this divine in mylife.”

They were on the third of seven courses,L’Oeuf. This one was tiny but perfectly presented. A bit like Caitlyn.

“What even are morel and sabayon?” she said.

“No idea. The fewer words on the menu you understand, the better the restaurant, I always find.”

Caitlyn snorted. “You are funny, Harry. I’m having such a lovely time.”

He smiled indulgently. He was too. And he didn’t mind the eyessurreptitiously turned their way as diners clocked Harry Rose with a stunning blonde young enough to be his daughter. Let them stare. The men would undoubtedly love to be in his shoes, while the women would be whispering about his midlife crisis.

Caitlyn asked him about his work, and Harry, ever looking to identify future trends, asked her what she liked to watch on TV. Her favorite programs were the reality ones, she said, where anyone could become famous just for being themselves. She lovedBritain’s Next Top Model, andBig Brother, had even thought about taking part. But the current series were feeling tired. Perhaps Harry should make something new? He should have doneThe Apprentice, she said. “You’d have been much better than Alan Sugar.”

Harry sipped his wine thoughtfully. He’d seen Sugar in the UK series and had watched the US version too. He remembered Donald Trump describing reality TV as “for the bottom-feeders of society,” before he’d gone on to star in his own series. Hypocrite.

“Hasn’t everything already been done, though?” he said. “We’ve had the boardroom, theBig Brotherhouse, the ones where people eat disgusting things on desert islands. What’s left?Britain’s Top Accountant?MasterPlumber?”

“I liked that one where the boss had to do the lowest job. It’s good seeing people thrown into new situations, watching how they get on with others—it’s all about the relationships. That’s why theKardashiansis so good.”

“But you appreciate it’s not actually real. Bits of their bodies certainly aren’t. Kim’s bottom is highly suspect.”

“You and your bottoms,” said Caitlyn. “I saw you watching mine at the gym.”

“I may have been,” said Harry, with a wink. “So should I get my team onto it? Devise a quintessentially British reality show starring people who will end up hating each other and having highly watchable rows?”

“Yes! And, Harry, if you do, can I be in it?”

“Why on earth would you want to put yourself through that?”

“Doesn’t everyone want to be famous? Even if only for a little while?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Your generation needs help.”

They moved on to their fourth course, duck so delicious that Harry let out a little moan with each mouthful. Really, tonight had been a delight. The lively conversation; Caitlyn, looking lush in her red dress, the rose necklace against her creamy skin; the inspired food, outstanding wine... if not for his disappointing performance in the bedroom earlier, it would have been perfect. Perhaps later, now that his long sex-fast was behind him, he’d find his way back to his former glory.

•••

Their second attempt was even more of a failure. It was true that Harry was feeling rather full, and had drunk more than his fair share of two bottles of wine, so the thought of an extended session was daunting. Nevertheless, he was full of desire for this lovely young woman, and as he explored her curves, hills, and valleys, his body responded in the expected manner. Until she whispered, “Now, Harry,” when all at once something mortifying happened, and Harry found himself in the embarrassing position of having to be encouraged back to full strength.

He lay staring at the canopy, Caitlyn asleep beside him. After the high of the evening, he’d plummeted into despair. What had happened to him? If he couldn’t perform properly for a luscious young thing like Caitlyn, did this mean he was forever doomed to bedroom failure?

He was overwhelmed with self-pity at this loss of his former self.

Caitlyn stirred beside him. “Don’t worry, Harry,” she whispered. “It’s quite normal, I hear. You know, in older men. There’s always Viagra.”

Caitlyn

It hadalmostbeen true, what she’d told Harry about her take-it-or-leave-it attitude to sex. At least, the part about her taking a while to get over the abuse by Mannox and his successors was true. For the longest time she’d hated anyone touching her but in her first years in London had accepted it was part of the survival deal. She’d got through it by focusing her mind on nice things, like a tropical beach, or playing with a kitten.