Page 32

CHAPTER 32

DINARA

Two days pass in the blink of an eye, and the day of the party arrives. I tell myself I’m ready, but the second I step onto the grounds of Konstantin’s estate, something tightens in my chest.

The gold strapless dress I bought just for this occasion hugs my body, metallic and shiny with rhinestones cascading down the front. As soon as I put it on at the store, I felt untouchable, and I knew that if I were to run into him tonight, it would be in this dress.

The sprawling property hums with life: acrobats twirling high above, stilt-walkers weaving through the crowd, and floral canopies glowing under the night sky. But none of that matters. Not when I’m scanning the crowd.

But he’s not here. Not yet, at least.

I remind myself that I’m fine, that I’m stronger now. But even so, my eyes can’t stop searching for him.

“I see you looking for him,” Tatiana whispers, sliding into my side with a teasing smile. “I thought you wanted to forget he ever existed.”

“I do,” I answer quickly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to see what he’s missed.”

Her laughter dances around us.

Every inch of me is on edge, fighting against the ache inside that I can’t shake.

A man suddenly approaches out of nowhere—dark hair, sharp eyes, polished smile. He takes both of our hands and presses a kiss to the top of each.

“Adriano Scutari. Pleasure.”

I recognize the name immediately. Boss of the Grazia family. Mob ties everywhere. Just what I need.

Tatiana smiles, a flush in her cheeks. She’s already charmed. I’m about to say something to her when a chill races up my spine.

Cillian.

I know he’s here before I even turn in his direction.

I don’t even have time to think. Everything I’ve tried to bury for these last several years surges to the surface. The warmth when he held me, the weight of his touch, the ache I’ve fought so damn hard to forget…all of it comes rushing back.

I shift toward him, my vision tunneling as he walks closer, a woman by his side. My body locks in place, and for a split second, I’m too stunned to breathe.

That familiar knife to my gut twists. It doesn’t matter that I told myself I was over him. Seeing him with someone else cuts deeper than I ever could have imagined.

He’s moved on. He’s completely forgotten me.

I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, fighting to keep my face neutral, to hide how much this hurts.

“Are you okay?” Adriano asks, but I barely hear him.

My entire world has narrowed to Cillian and the woman at his side.

I can’t stand it. I can’t stand her .

Who is she? How long have they been together? How do I get rid of her?

“Pretend to be my boyfriend.” The words are out of my mouth before I even think them.

My voice sounds foreign to me—desperate, even. I don’t care. I just need him to hurt like I do. If he even cares, that is.

Adriano chuckles, clearly amused, but my focus stays locked on Cillian as he approaches, his gaze slicing through me, dark and unreadable.

“Please.” I turn to Adriano, my eyes searching his. “Just do it.”

His gaze flickers between me and Cillian, the shift in his expression telling me he understands. A slow, knowing grin spreads across his face, mischief dancing in his eyes.

“Ah, I see.” He tilts his head toward Cillian. “That your ex?”

“Yeah. Real jerk.” The words come out too easily. “Now help me make him jealous.”

“How can I refuse such a request?” Adriano’s arm slides around my waist, pulling me close. His mouth drops to my ear, his tone low and dark. “How jealous do you want him to be?”

“As jealous as possible.” The words are sweet poison on my lips.

And when I look at Cillian again, the rage in his eyes is almost enough to satisfy me.

Almost.

The woman at Cillian’s side flashes a smile when they’re only a few feet away, but I barely see her. I don’t see anyone but him. I’m a woman possessed, driven by something I can’t name. I pull Adriano closer, pressing my body against his as though it’s the only thing that can shield me from the storm of emotion threatening to swallow me whole.

Then Cillian’s voice cuts through everything. Deep and familiar and crushing.

“Dinara.”

The way he says my name—sharp, laced with longing and something far more dangerous—makes my chest tighten. I feel the shift in my body. The cold heat of recognition. The way everything inside me freezes at the sound of his voice.

It’s all I can do not to fall apart right here, but I won’t. Not for him. Not ever again.

“Cillian.” My voice is steady, betraying none of the trembling I feel deep inside. "It’s been a while."

“I’ll say.” His nostrils flare, his eyes locked on mine like I’m the only thing in the room. His chest rises and falls faster. “Can we talk?” He glances at Adriano with rage-filled eyes.

“Not right now.” I shake my head, holding on to Adriano’s arm even tighter. “I’m busy with my date.”

“I think I can spare you for a few minutes, darling,” Adriano says.

My hand rests on his chest, and I swear Cillian growls.

“You sure, babe?” The sugary sweetness of my words is the only thing that keeps me from cracking under the intensity of Cillian’s gaze—like he can’t breathe without me.

“Absolutely.” Adriano’s grin deepens. “I need to catch up with my sister anyway.” He flips his gaze to the woman next to Cillian.

Sister?

My eyes widen.

“You’re related?” I say, more of a statement than a question.

“That’s right,” she answers with a smile, and in this moment, I want to claw her eyes out.

“Excuse us.” Adriano pulls her aside and starts walking away, leaving me and Cillian alone in a space full of people.

Yet I don’t see anyone but him. I never have.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” My heart hammers, like it’s tearing out of my chest.

“Let’s go inside.”

I open my mouth to refuse, but before I can, his hand is in mine. His touch is electric, sending a shock through my veins, filling every hollow part of me with a fire I haven’t felt in so long. The burn, the heat, the ache…it’s there, all of it.

How can I still feel like this after everything? After all this time? No matter the distance. No matter the time we’ve been apart. He’s always been embedded in my marrow, rotting me from the inside.

And maybe that’s the worst part of it. Because somehow I’ve always belonged to him, even when I wasn’t his anymore. But clearly he’s moved on, and maybe it’s time I do the same.

From the corner of my eye, I spot Konstantin watching us, a knowing glint in his eyes, his mouth tipping up just slightly.

I don’t have time to digest what that look means as Cillian leads me into the house, past busy staff and the hum of the party, but none of that registers. Only him. Only the feeling of his hand in mine, the heat between us that won’t ever die.

“Where’s the closest bathroom?” His words are rough, demanding, and it makes my pulse race even faster.

“Down the hall.”

He practically drags me down the corridor.

“Which one?” His tone is gruff, impatient, and it causes my pulse to hike up.

I point to the last door on the left, and he’s quick to open it, ushering us inside. The moment the door slams shut behind us, the small room feels suffocating with the heaviness of everything unsaid between us. His eyes roam my body—hungry, desperate—and I feel it on every inch of my skin.

A fist curls at his side.

“Where the hell have you been?” His voice is tight, and there’s something almost painful in it.

“Oh, you know…” I cross my arms, but I don’t miss the way his gaze lingers on my chest. “Basking in the Italian sun, under a hot Italian or three.”

In an instant, he’s on me, pinning me to the wall, his fingers around my throat, and it feels like a brand. His jaw grinds, and I swallow hard, fighting the dizzying mix of anger and desire.

“That’s not funny, Dinara,” he growls.

“Right, because I’ve spent all this time pining over you like the sad little girl you left.”

His breath escapes in harsh, frustrated bursts.

“Guess what, baby?” My mouth curves. “In all this time, I didn’t think about you at all.”

His smirk is predatory. “Really? Not even once?”

His body presses into mine, and I let out a groan, aching for him already.

“Nope.”

“Then why the hell did you run? Why didn’t you come back sooner?”

“Because I was having too much fun. Obviously.” I snicker.

His husky laugh shivers across my curves. “Don’t you know by now, a ghra? I know when you lie.”

I hate the way my skin prickles when he calls me that.

His full lips skim across mine, and I feel it everywhere, warmth cascading down my limbs. I shut my eyes, hating that I still want him after everything. He still looks just as good as I remember.

“You know nothing about me.” I hike up my chin. “We weren’t together long enough for you to know anything.”

When he pulls back, there’s a fury trapped in his eyes.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” His hand squeezes my throat, his cock hard against me. “You want to hate me, but you can’t. Can you, baby?”

“You wish.” I huff out a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m leaving.”

Pushing at his chest does nothing at all. He’s a brick, hard in all the right places.

“No, you’re not.” His jaw clenches, and the possessive undertone makes me feel things I hate to admit.

“Shouldn’t you go back to your date? Or is she your wife?” My mouth curls, while the pain is almost unbearable.

“I should be asking you the same thing.” His gaze burns through me.

“So ask.” My lips tip up.

He pushes up my chin, forcing my head higher, his eyes boring deeper. “Does he fuck you like I did?” His mouth brushes mine, and I let out a gasp. “Does he make you tremble when you come?”

His fingers stroke up my inner thigh, grazing my core through my panties.

“You should stop.”

He flips the lace to the side. “Is that what you really want, Dinara?” He rolls a finger over my clit. “Or do you still ache for me the way I ache for you?”

No. No, I don’t. Please don’t stop.

But I can’t say that out loud. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

“Does he touch you like this?” He pushes a tip into my entrance. “Does he make you this needy? This wet for him?”

“He’s better.” I grit the words out, barely able to speak.

“Don’t do that,” he husks, tightly clasping my throat. “Don’t you fucking lie to me.”

“You really think you’re the only man who can fuck me like that? You’re not.”

His features twist with one part lust, the other rage. It’s so hot, I almost come just from looking at him.

He bites my bottom lip, his voice rough with frustration. “I hate that I still want you this much.”

His fingers slowly press inside me, stretching me as I gasp, unable to stop the moans slipping from my lips.

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.”

His chuckle is dripping with arrogance. “Look at you.” His hand slides from my throat to twist my hair around his wrist. “You’re still mine.”

“Never.” I narrow my eyes as he sinks deeper. “All you are, and all you’ll ever be, is a good fuck. Nothing more.”

“Is that right?”

Thrust.

“Mm-hmm.”

Thrust.

“We’ll see about that.”

And in a split second, he flips me around, pushing my head down until I’m bent over for him, my ass completely on display.

“Fuck,” he hisses, giving it a slap. “So damn perfect.”

Practically ripping my panties down, he slides his fingers even deeper until I’m clawing the wall, crying out in sheer pleasure. He doesn’t stop, not until I’m dripping. I barely register the sound of his belt buckle as it comes undone, the zipper next, until his pants are pooled against his ankles.

His fingers return to my throat, clasping it tight. “I’m gonna remind you what a good fuck is, baby, and I’m gonna erase every bastard who took my place.”

There’s no one who could ever take his place, and that’s the most heartbreaking truth of all.

With one ruthless thrust, he’s inside me, and I let out a cry, my core throbbing and burning and aching for him. But he doesn’t move while my body stretches around his, his thumb rolling over my clit while I let out a series of needy cries.

The feeling of him bare after all this time, it’s something else entirely. It’s primal. Raw. Like he’s claiming me all over again.

“Tell me to fuck you.” His hot breath crawls down my neck, lips grazing my earlobe. “Beg for it, leannan. Tell Daddy what you want.”

My pussy clenches at those words, and I have no idea why. I never imagined liking something like this.

His husky laughter makes it harder to breathe. “Beg. I wanna hear you begging and pleading for it like the slut I remember.”

“I won’t beg you for a thing. In fact…” I turn my head and stare at him over my shoulder. “ You should beg me .”

He fists my hair. “Please…” His whispered breath rolls down the shell of my ear. “Please let me kiss you. I’ll die if I don’t.”

“Then die.” My mouth curves.

Roughly, he arches his hips into me with a beastly growl, spanking my ass harder. “Goddamn, baby, only you can make me this hard.”

When he starts to move, grabbing my hips, I fall into the sensations, letting them consume me. Forgetting how wrong this is and how right it is all at the same time.

He doesn’t want you. He’s with someone else. You shouldn’t be doing this.

But everything about this feels familiar and right. The way he moves, the way he calls out my name, the way his hands glide across my skin. It’s all I know. It’s all I remember. And it’s all I want.

There are so many things I want to ask.

Do you regret it?

Did you think about me?

Did you fall in love with her?

But I can’t seem to ask any of them because I have to pretend he means nothing.

“Is that all you’ve got?” I say instead, wanting that fire in his eyes to burn brighter.

He fists my hair, pulling my head back to meet his harsh stare while his mouth drops to my ear, his pace intensifying. “You’re gonna regret that.”

He takes me harder and deeper. My body is on the brink of collapse, my mind forgetting everything else I was just thinking about. Everything but him and the things he makes me feel.

This intensity, it’s unexplainable. Earth-shattering in every way.

I lose control, moaning shamelessly, while the man who let me go somehow finds me again, bringing me back to that girl I was when he left.

He roars with his own orgasm, body rigid as he rams into me until he’s fed me every drop. Instead of sliding out of me, he holds me tighter, breathing heavily across my ear.

“I’ve missed you.” His confession makes my heart flinch.

But I won’t let him have any more of it. He’s taken enough.

“No. Don’t do that.” My eyes pinch shut. “This was just sex. That’s all.”

“With you, it was never just sex.” He drops a kiss to my shoulder, and tears threaten behind my eyes. “You may not be mine, but I’ll always be yours, Dinara.”

I swallow down the ache carving up my throat.

Don’t you dare show weakness. He’s not worth it. Remember how much he broke you. You won’t become her again.

I pry his hand off me and straighten, lifting up my panties and dragging my dress down with a half-smile. “This was fun.”

He stares at me intensely as he pulls up his boxers and pants.

“Thanks for the orgasm, Quinn.” My hand wraps around the cold doorknob. “I’ll see you around.” The words fall from my lips like an echo of someone I used to be.

I start to move, my steps steady, but then I hear him.

“Dinara.” It’s a whisper of my name, the sound of a ghost.

The girl I was—vulnerable, full of hope—would’ve stopped. Would’ve turned. Would’ve let him pull me back in with just that one word. She would’ve crumbled, just like before.

But not me. I don’t hesitate. I don’t falter. I walk away, keeping my eyes forward. I don’t look back. Not even when the twinge in my chest feels like it could tear me open.

Because I’ve grown. Because I’ve learned. And this time, I’m the one who chooses.