Page 24

CHAPTER 24

DINARA

The past couple of weeks have been unnervingly quiet. No updates on my father or any hints of what Konstantin might be doing with his men—not that he’d ever share that with me.

But the hardest part has been the absence of Cillian.

No cologne lingering in the air after a surprise visit. No trace of him at all. I want that again. Something, anything, to hold on to. But it’s just emptiness now, a gnawing ache that never seems to fade. It sits in my chest, invisible but constant, a reminder of everything I once had and lost.

I tried texting him after he bought me the perfume, but he never responded. It stung to be ignored like that, even knowing he’s been inside my house—either because he cares or because he misses me. Or maybe he’s just insane. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t change how much I wish he was here.

Letting out a deep sigh, I glance at the time on my phone as the SUV rolls over a few pebbles with Boris’s turn. He and Artem are taking me to the coffee shop to meet Natalia and Alisa.

Given everything that’s happening, I’d rather have them driving me around than trailing behind me. It’s not just paranoia; it’s reality. I know all too well what my father is capable of.

We walk inside, and they head for an empty table while I head for the girls, who wave as soon as they see me.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hey, you.” Natalia’s eyes scan me with a mix of amusement and judgment. “Why didn’t you dress up? Leggings and a sweatshirt? Come on, Dinara. You’re not even trying to attract the opposite sex.”

I roll my eyes. “Exactly. What I’m trying to attract is caffeine.”

I grab the menu, searching for a latte option, but I catch a look between the girls. A look that doesn’t sit right with me.

“What was that?” I narrow my eyes at Natalia, already knowing that if there’s trouble, she’s at the center of it.

Before she can answer, the waitress arrives. I order a vanilla latte and a chocolate croissant, my eyes still fixed on the girls, sensing something's up. When she leaves, I lean in closer.

“So, what’s really going on here?”

Alisa bites her lip, while Natalia's smile turns devious.

“Remember, I only do things because I love you,” Natalia says.

“What the hell does that mean?—”

Before I can finish, a guy’s voice cuts through. “Nat!”

Two others follow behind, pulling up chairs and sitting with us.

My blood freezes.

“What the hell is this, Nat?” I whisper, my voice sharp with disbelief.

She meets my glare with a tight one of her own. “Boys, this is my hot cousin, Dinara. The one I told you about. Just got out of a breakup, so be gentle with her.” Her gaze locks on to the guy who’s about to sit next to me.

I can’t believe she did this. The last thing I want right now is small talk with someone I’ll never see again. What a waste of time.

“I’m Ace. Nice to meet you.” He smirks, a little too confidently.

He’s tall, lean—attractive, I guess—but there’s no spark. Not the way Cillian has always made my heart beat faster.

And there it is. That rush of thoughts about him.

Where is he? What’s he doing? Who’s he with?

A pang of jealousy stabs at me, sharp and bitter. I don’t want to think about him moving on, falling in love with someone else. Not that he ever loved me.

“I’m not dating,” I say quickly.

“She’s not dating yet ,” Natalia adds, grinning.

Ace laughs, but it’s too cocky. “That’s fine. We don’t have to date. We can get to know each other in other ways.”

His hand brushes my knee, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I shove his hand away, glaring.

“Don’t touch me.”

He raises both palms in mock surrender. “Sorry. You’re just so pretty.”

“That doesn’t give you permission to touch me.”

His eyes slide over me, and I feel exposed. It’s like his gaze strips me bare, and I want to crawl out of my skin.

“I need to use the restroom.”

“Do you want us to come with?” Natalia calls after me.

“Nope. You've done enough.” I narrow my eyes as I start walking toward the restroom.

But as soon as I turn the corner toward the ladies' room, the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight. A sharp inhale stutters through me, and I feel it settle deep.

He’s right behind me.

“Tell him to leave, Dinara.” His voice is rough, his arm curling around my front and pulling me into his chest.

His presence washes over me like a wave, disorienting and warm all at once. I should be angry at him, but the truth is, there’s nothing more comforting than the way he touches me.

“Why should I do that?” My fingers trail up his forearm as I let myself feel him again. Feel his heat, his presence.

“Because if you don’t, I won’t be able to control what I do to him.”

A sardonic laugh escapes my lips. “I thought I told you at the club, you can’t tell me what to do. Did you forget?”

A growl vibrates against my neck as his lips hover right up against my pulse. “Get rid of him, Dinara. I won’t ask again.”

“I don’t take orders from you,” I whisper, fighting the need to melt into his touch.

The way he feels against me…every part of me aches for more.

“We'll see about that.” His fingers trail up my thigh, teasing me in places where I ache for him.

“I’m glad you got my gift.” His words are a low rumble across my skin, his lips ghosting over the sensitive spot behind my ear.

A shiver betrays me before I can stop it.

“Thanks for ignoring my text.” I exhale sharply, but it almost sounds like a moan.

“It’s better that way.” But he doesn’t even sound sure.

“Really?” I turn my head just enough to catch the flicker of something dark in his eyes. “Is this better too? You stalking me like some desperate little puppy?”

Cillian doesn’t answer. He just watches me, jaw clenched, pulling me in, pressing my back flush against his firm chest.

The heat of him, the hard lines of his muscles against mine… It’s maddening. It’s exactly what I don’t want to feel.

“Can’t seem to get over me, huh?” I taunt, my voice steady even when I don’t feel grounded or whole.

My hand slides behind me, fingers grazing down his stomach, lower…finding him hard and wanting. I squeeze him, reveling in the way he groans in response, his grip on me tightening.

“I wish it was that easy,” he growls, thick with frustration. “All I want is to get over you.”

The words cut deep. Deeper than I expect. I force myself to swallow down the sting, to keep my face cold, unaffected.

I tilt my head slightly, my lips almost brushing his jaw. “Then do it.”

He stills. I can feel the war inside him. The way his fingers twitch against my skin. The way his inhales turn ragged. For a moment, it feels like we’re teetering on the edge of something dangerous. Something inevitable.

But I can’t let this happen.

“Leave me alone, Cillian.” I flip around to face him all the way. “Whatever this is, I’m done with it.”

When I try to walk away, he catches my wrist, curling an arm around my back.

His lips draw nearer, breaths hot against my lips, and for one traitorous second, every part of me wants to melt into him.

I wish forgetting you was easy too.

When he wrenches away, I grind my jaw, and he groans.

“Dinara. I’m sorry. I just?—”

“You just what?” I laugh, but there’s no humor in it, only sharp edges and exhaustion. “Want to have your cake and eat it too? This isn't fair. To either of us.”

Agony flashes across his face before it turns into something darker. “What’s fair has never been part of the equation, leannan. If it was, you’d be mine.”

Every piece of my soul tears wide open.

“I could be.” My fingers slip into his, trembling, desperate. “But you won’t let me.”

His breath is shallow, uneven, every exhale burning against my skin.

“This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he whispers in a raw and broken way. “Walking away from you. Pretending I don’t want you every second of the damn day. I swear, Dinara, I feel like I’m bleeding out.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead for just a moment—just long enough for me to feel the wreckage in him, the same one tearing through me. When he pulls away, the loss is immediate, like something inside me has been ripped out.

I turn my back to him, inhaling shakily and fighting to stay upright, to keep the flood of emotions inside where they belong. I refuse to fall apart in front of him.

But when I finally gather the courage to look at him again, he’s gone. Like he was never there at all.

That’s when the tears come. I rush into the bathroom, staring at the broken girl in the mirror, the one I no longer even recognize.

No more. I can’t go on like this. He doesn’t get to control me. Doesn’t get to own my emotions anymore.

Except…my heart.

That’s been his since the moment he came into my life.

Grabbing a napkin, I clean up the last of the pain, and a few minutes later, I return to the table, finding the guy I’d been forced to talk to gone.

“There you are. Are you okay?” Concern threads through Natalia’s features.

“Fine. Where’d what’s-his-name go?”

His friends laugh, and one of them responds, “Someone slashed his car tires. He went to call his dad.”

A faint smile tugs at the corner of my mouth.

Cillian.