Page 37 of Wicked Refusal

It’s so strange—all of it. Being here, joking about Eli, having breakfast together. This morning, I stress-flipped enough pancakes to feed an army.

Most of all, Yulian is acting… decent. No, that’s not the right word. By welcoming us here, Yulian has been way more than decent. And yet, despite the tension that laces our everyinteraction, he’s doing his best to put on a front. A serene, drama-free front—for Eli’s sake.

He’s trying. He’s really trying.

Gratitude tugs at me, but guilt tugs harder. For the rest of the morning, I can’t quite bring myself to meet Yulian’s gaze. If he notices, he doesn’t comment on it. Not with Eli making a mess of maple syrup on his marble countertop.

“Even if Eli won’t, you should be staying home today,” Yulian says the second Eli’s out of earshot. “I can drive him to school on my own.”

I shake my head. “You’ve already done so much. Besides, I’d go crazy if I just stayed cooped up. And I need to pack up our stuff.”

“My men can take care of it.”

“But they’ll never be able to find all my coupons.”

My joke lands on deaf ears and a set jaw. “It’s dangerous,” Yulian says. “Desya’s still out there. He could come for you.”

“He was shot less than twenty-four hours ago. Trust me, no one’s moving around after that.”

“Mia—”

My hands twist the hems of my sleeves. Long sleeves—to hide the still-healing bruises. “I’ve spent months trapped in a cage,” I whisper. “I need to stretch my wings again. Need to know I can leave here, if I want to.”

Yulian’s face darkens. I can tell this conversation isn’t going the way he wanted. “You’re pregnant,” he rumbles. “You can’t take stupid risks just because?—”

“Because I’ve been locked up by my psycho ex and want to make sure you’re not going to do the same?” I retort acidly. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s way too much to ask.”

Yulian’s jaw flexes. “I’m not him.”

“Then prove it.”

His fists clench and unclench. I can see the storm in his eyes, raging just below the surface. If he had his way, he wouldn’t let me out of here until the baby was born—possibly not even then.

But we had a deal that I wouldn’t be going from one master to another. And Yulian, for all his faults, is still a man of his word.

“Fine,” he grits. “But I want four of my men with you at all times.”

“Two.”

“Four. And one of them is either Maksim or Nikita.”

“Fine!” I throw my hands up. “Now, can we please go?”

Just then, Eli’s head pops out of his room again. “I’m ready!” he announces.

“Yeah?” I force cheer back into my voice. “Then let’s hit the road.”

Yulian schools his face, too. Seeing that eases the knot of my anger. Whatever happens between us, he won’t let it affect Eli—I know that in my bones.

And that will make him a great father.

What about the other father?my own conscience sneers.What about last night?

I don’t want to think about it. What I did. What I had to do.

But when we finally walk out the door, my guilt walks out the door with me.

“Holy shit,” Nikita whistles when we turn the key into my old Brownsville apartment. “I think you got squatters. Look at all those roaches they let in.”