Page 23

Talon

Day 175

It’s been five and a half goddamn months, and we still cannot find her. We have no goddamn idea who bought her, but I sense we are getting closer. I miss her so much that it hurts. I don’t even know if she is alive at this point, or if she has been sold again. Grim has essentially disappeared. We have no idea who else is connected. It’s just been dead end after dead end. I am completely consumed by trying to find her, to the point that Jude, Chris, Adam, and Tony run everything for me so I can focus on finding her. I can’t focus if I’m not doing something for her, so we have agreed that all of my time will be spent following leads.

Ashley has been a great help, but I have caught myself on many occasions wanting to find comfort in her. By comfort, I mean I want to fuck the shit out of her and get out of my own head, though. I won’t do that to Delaney. I would then have to explain that I was fucking another woman while she was going through God knows what. I just want my wife back. I want to see her beautiful smile. I want to hear her silly laugh and to fall asleep with her snuggled against my chest.

Living life without Delaney feels like someone sucked the oxygen out of a room and locked me inside. I am in a constant state of panic because I know I will never heal from this if I can’t save her. I feel so fucking helpless, and I hate it. I hate everything but her. Sometimes I can’t remember what she sounds like anymore. It’s like my brain knows… but it’s getting lost in a cloud of misery that has settled in my soul.

I am sitting on the side of the bed with a glass of whiskey in my hand. I try not to drink so much, but it’s the only time I don’t think about her. Missing her isn’t quite so painful when I am so drunk I can’t see straight. Blacking out from drinking myself half to death is the most peace I get these days.

“Hey,” Ashley says from the doorway. I grunt to acknowledge her, and she walks over to sit beside me. “What can I do?”

“Find my wife,” I say as I throw the last of the drink down my throat. I pick up the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the other glass before filling mine again.

“We will find her,” she says, patting my thigh.

“Don’t do that,” I sigh.

“Do what?” she asks, confused.

“Nothing,” I mutter. I fucking hate myself right now. What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I that goddamn heartless?

“No, tell me,” she urges.

“Don’t touch me. I have zero willpower, and I will fuck the shit out of you,” I snap but soften. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” she says as she drinks her whiskey all in one go.

“Damn, woman,” I say. “What are you trying to drown?”

“The urge to let you fuck the shit out of me,” she remarks, pointing to the bottle for more. I throw mine back and refill both of us, leaving the lid off this time for easier access.

“Can I be honest?” I ask.

“Always,” she says as she slips her shoes off and turns to me on the bed to sit cross-legged.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get answers,” I say. “I think she is gone and I’m only hurting myself by holding on.”

“Can I be honest?” she asks, and I nod. “I think you need to find a way to relax that isn’t at the bottom of a bottle. I think finding her is possible, but you are letting yourself get consumed by grief. You need to reset and start from the beginning. Ned is still working the case in between his other cases. No one is giving up on her but you. Do you even jerk off?”

“To what?” I ask. “The thought of my wife being trafficked because of her connection to me?”

“To a woman at the grocery store. Who gives a fuck? You just need to relax,” she says. “I will gladly flash you my titties so you can jerk off and clear your head for a moment.”

“You are a horny little thing when you drink,” I say, and she laughs. “Yeah, I had a half of a bottle of wine at dinner and I haven’t had sex in a year.”

“When was the last time you got yourself off then?” I ask, instantly regretting it.

“When was the last time you looked at me like you were going to rip my clothes off?” she asks.

“I know I need to relax and just accept that she’s gone,” I say, but the words taste bitter in my mouth. I’ll never accept that she’s gone. “I need to move on with my life. But I don’t know how. I can’t keep feeling this helpless.”

“If you want to move on, I don’t think she would blame you for that,” Ashley says softly. “You aren’t required to be a prisoner in your own mind.”

“How do I move on when she is everywhere I look?” I ask. “How do I move on, not knowing if I gave up too soon?”

“I don’t know,” she says quietly. I sigh and lay back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. Ashley moves off the bed and just when I think she is going to leave, she steps between my legs and gently rests her hands on my thighs. “Ashley…”

“Say no,” she says.

“I can’t,” I admit. “I told you; I have no willpower when I feel this helpless.”

“Then I am going to help you get out of your head,” she says as she unbuckles my jeans.

“Ashley,” I say quieter. She doesn’t say anything as she pulls my cock out. I groan deeply as she strokes me.

“See? Doesn’t that feel good?” she asks softly.

“You’re going to hate yourself tomorrow,” I mutter.

“Probably. I’ll feel like a giant whore and a home wrecker, but if anything, we can tell Laney that I forced you, because that’s kinda what I’m doing.”

“Probably won’t have to worry about that,” I grumble. She squeezes my cock, and I inadvertently groan louder. “Fuck, Ashley.”

“Shhh. We will find her,” she says before wrapping her lips around my cock.

“Dear God,” I moan and grip onto her hair. She takes me down her throat and sucks hard as she bobs up and down, stroking me with a tight grip at the same time. I can easily picture that it is my sweet Little Flower sucking my cock. Her noises are so similar, and my whiskey drowned mind is easily persuaded. I eventually give into temptation and pull her off of me. She has a feral look in her eye when I shove her onto the bed and tear her pants. I slow down for a second and she looks desperate.

“I’m on the pill. I take it religiously. I’m clean. Please,” she slurs. I nod and flip her to her belly before she moves up to her knees with her chest flat on the bed.

“God, forgive me,” I drunkenly pray as I grab her hips and sink into her pussy. She moans loudly into the bed as I slam into her with all my pent up rage and sadness. She screams as she comes, but never once fights back. I am getting drunker by the second and I can almost hallucinate that it’s Laney I am fucking. Just as I am about to come, I start to second guess if I should come in her. She must have the same thought as I pull away, because she flips around and is on her hands and knees facing me. I grab her by the head and shove myself to the back of her throat. She sucks hard as I violently take her throat. She gags and tries to pull away, but I keep hold of her as I try to release the anger inside of me that just won’t let go.

“Oh, Laney,” I moan loudly as I come. As soon as I have forced my come down her throat, reality slams down on me hard. “Oh no… No… I.. Fuck, I fucked everything up. She’s going to hate me.”

“Woah. Woah. Woah,” Ashley jumps up and get to me as I fall to my knees. Sobs suddenly rack from my body and five months of grief floods out in a panic.

“She’s gone,” I sob as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me down against her chest. “I need her. I don’t want to learn to live without her. I don’t want to move on. I just want my wife back. Why did they have to take her? I was supposed to be her protector… I failed her time and time again... and now I’ve gone and cheated. Maybe Vince was right. Maybe I am a worthless piece of shit. I make everything worse. She…”

“Shhh. We will find her, Talon. I swear to God, we will find Laney,” she says with a promise in her voice that I want to believe. I want to have hope, but it’s so fucking hard to hold on to something when it feels like shards of glass in your grip.

“Talon,” Jude says, shaking me.

“Mmm,” I groan but snap my eyes open when I realize Ashley is still here.

“Hey,” Jude says. I see that Chris, Adam, and Tony are here. Ashley stirs and launches herself off the bed to get away from us.

“Both of you chill out,” Jude says as I get up and grab my boxers.

“Jude, I…”

“I know. You fucked. We heard you two downstairs,” Jude says.

“It’s been five months, buddy,” Chris says. “She won’t blame you.”

“She’s gone,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s been too long with no leads.”

“About that,” Jude says slowly as I pull my boxers on. “I need to tell you something, and you can’t kill me, okay?”

“What?” I sigh.

“Wait. You never showed him?” Ashley snaps. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jude?”

“What’s going on?” I ask, Jude.

“Back when she was first taken and you were… suicidal… Grim sent you a video,” Jude says.

“What?” I shout at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Listen to me, Talon. I checked it out several times. I tracked it to the place where the auction was held. Ned had his tech check it out too and it all checked out. It helped understand how the tracker works. We know she was moved out of the county but I’ve been trying to narrow down where. A few hours ago, you got another video. This time it’s from whoever bought her.”

“What?” I ask quietly. “She’s…”

“Alive. Yes, it was time stamped for about… well, when you two were fucking.”

“Which is kinda weird,” Chris adds.

“Why?” I ask.

“It’s easier if you just watch the video,” Jude says. “The first video is Grim raping her. It was brutal and she fought but… this is a lot different.”

“Is she hurt?” Ashley asks.

“No… But she is broken. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her or anyone look so dead inside,” Jude says. “She is willing and consenting, but… it’s not the Delaney we know.”

“Just show me,” I sigh. He hands me my phone and Ashley steps beside me with the sheet wrapped around her to watch it.

When the video starts playing, only a man is visible. He is sitting on a couch, and it looks like this is a security camera. “How are you, Master?” I hear Delaney asks before entering the view of the camera. She is naked, malnourished, and covered in scars. They cover her back, bottom, and legs. Some are older than others, but they are all mostly healed. Her blonde hair is dull and lifeless, as is everything about her. I can see that her nipples are pierced too. She has a tattoo on her left ass cheek. It says something, but I can’t make it out.

“I am well,” the man remarks with a heavy Russian accent as he looks her up and down. “You?”

“I’m better now,” she says with a forced smile as she sinks to her knees in front of him. “May I help you relax, Master?”

“I suppose so,” he says, leaning back. She doesn’t hesitate to pull his dick out and take him down her throat. Her movements are lackluster, but to anyone else she seems eager. I know my wife, and this is not her.

“My pretty little Kukla,” he groans and pushes her down on him.

“What does that mean?” Ashley asks.

“Doll,” I say flatly. “He’s calling her a doll.”

“Rude,” Ashley frowns.

This act goes on for a while before he stops her and pulls her into his lap. “Take your pleasure, Kukla. Make your master proud.”

“Anything for my master,” she says with a blank look on her face as she lowers herself onto him, immediately moaning. I close my eyes and sigh heavily. Jude rubs my back as a way to tell me he understands. I open my eyes again to see her riding him hard and fast. She is moaning wildly, but she is still devoid of real emotion.

“That’s my girl,” he groans and starts rubbing her clit as she bounces on him. “Come for me, Kukla.”

“Oh, God. Yes, Master. Please,” she moans. She is doing every bit of the work, and he seems to believe that she is coming, but she’s not. I know my girl, and that is not her coming. She continues her fake moans until she groans deeply as he comes.

“Good girl,” he pants. “Such a good girl.”

“Thank you, Master,” she says as she moves from his lap to the kneel in front of him.

“I am proud of how far you’ve come, Kukla,” he says as he tucks himself away. “What do you think about coming on vacation with me this summer?”

“Really?” she asks, perking up. “You trust me?”

“Do you want to stay here with me?” he asks. “Have you accepted being in my home?”

“Yes,” she says. “I have nothing left for me back in America. I want to learn Russian and acclimate better.”

“Then we will go on vacation,” he says with a smile, cupping her cheek. “Go make my meal and prepare a serving for yourself. You’ve earned it.”

“Thank you, Master,” she says happily, taking his hand and kissing the back of it. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Kukla. Go clean up and make us food,” he says, shooing her off. She jumps up and walks out of the room. He watches her leave before looking up at the camera. “Looks like she enjoys her new life,” he remarks simply. The video cuts off and I am at a loss for words.

“Talon, I’m—“ Jude starts to say.

“What has he done to my little flower?” I look up and ask him.

“By the looks of the scars… horrific things,” Jude says bluntly.

“She looks dead, only her body doesn’t know it yet.” Ashley says. “That poor girl…. He’s brainwashed her.”

“She’s desperate for peace,” I say. “But she’s alive.”

“And in Russia,” Chris says.

“With this video, I have narrowed it down to a two-mile range outside Moscow. Ned has some connections and…”

“We are going to Russia,” I say matter-of-factly.

“We are going to Russia,” Jude says with a smile. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch who just signed his death certificate.”

“Do you want me to come, or—“ Ashley starts to ask.

“Yes,” Jude says. “And when we get her back, you tell her immediately. That better be the first fucking thing out of your mouth. She deserves the truth right away rather than healing her, only to destroy her again because you hid it.”

“No offense, Ashley, but…”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” she says before I can. “And I’m not just saying that because I know you regret it.”

“And Talon,” Jude says.

“Hmm?” I ask.

“No more drinking. Ever. Got it?” he says.

“Yeah… I’ve got it,” I say.

“I’m serious,” he says. “You’re turning into an alcoholic, and she doesn’t need that. She has been through so much and she will have a long journey ahead of her. The last thing she needs is you being a drunk.”

“I know,” I say. “Get rid of it so I’m not tempted.”

“I already handled that,” Chris says.

“When do we leave?” I ask.

“Right now,” Ned says from the doorway. “Flight leaves in an hour with or without us.”

“Let’s go get our girl,” I say, finally finding the drive to push forward past my grief.