Page 54 of Wicked Games (Silvercrest U #1)

FELIX

It feels weird to be going to bed in Killian’s room, but I don’t hate that he had my bag brought here after we arrived instead of sending it to my room.

Our bedrooms are in the west wing of the house and at opposite ends of the hall from each other. Our parents’ rooms are on a different floor and in the east wing, so we have all the privacy in the world once the staff goes home for the night.

Not that Killian gives a shit about privacy. He doesn’t care who sees us together, and I’ve gotten more hugs and kisses from him since I woke up this morning than I have in my entire life.

And the most incredible part is that no one seems to care. Killian casually told me how he confirmed to his dad that we’re together, and the twins haven’t stopped teasing me about how cute they think we are.

I know teasing is one of their love languages, and I love that they care enough to include me in their banter.

Killian’s extended family hasn’t batted an eyelash at our being together.

The house staff has been smart enough to keep their gossip to themselves.

Even my mother is okay with it. At least I think she is.

The two-minute conversation I had with her an hour ago where she asked me a few questions about school and pretended to not notice that Killian was wrapped around me like a boa constrictor the whole time certainly made it seem like she’s fine with it.

Another thing I’ve discovered since we’ve been home is how much I love casual intimacy. I never thought I was into it before because it was never part of my life, but I can’t get enough of it now that I know how awesome it is, and I love how free Killian is with his affection.

I have no idea how we got here, but for the first time in forever, it feels like things are finally looking up for me.

“Are you tired?” Killian asks.

“Not really.”

“Do you want to go for a swim?”

I look at him sharply. “Swim?”

“Yeah, in the basement pool. I thought it might help you get your outlet back. I’ll sit with you while you do your laps, so you don’t have to worry about anything other than just swimming.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And if it helps, we can do the same thing when we get back to school. We can’t let that asshole take away your safe place.”

“That’s…that means a lot. I’ve really missed it.”

“I get it. It’s your first love and your outlet. I go crazy when I don’t have a way to channel things, and as much as I’m loving all the other ways I’ve been tiring you out at night, it’s time you got yours back.”

“Not gonna lie, I’m also enjoying all those ways you’ve been tiring me out.”

He smirk-smiles. “Remember that when you’re done with your laps, and maybe we can fuck if you’re not too tired.”

I bark out a laugh. “I can promise you I’ll never be too tired to fuck.”

“I’m holding you to that.” He points at my bag. “Do you have a suit?”

“I didn’t pack one. Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask. “You won’t get bored watching me swim for an hour?”

“Nope, because I’ll spend the whole time thinking about all the ways I’m going to make you scream my name later.”

“I’ll also be thinking about that while I’m swimming, which will be super fun trying to dolphin kick with a boner.”

He laughs and goes to his dresser. “I have an old suit you can wear if you don’t want to get one from your room. It should fit you.” He digs a bright blue suit out of the drawer and tosses it to me.

“How the fuck did you fit in this?” I hold it up. “There’s no way you were able to squish your dick in it.”

“It’s from a few years ago,” he explains. “I think I only wore it twice, maybe three times. And the tiny dick pouch was on purpose, FYI.”

“Of course it was.” Smiling, I toss the suit onto the bed and strip off my clothes.

He watches with hungry eyes and rubs one hand over his cock as I pull the suit on.

It’s around the same size as the ones I usually wear, only it’s cut way higher on the legs, and the ass doesn’t have nearly as much coverage as I’m used to. And as dumb as it is, wearing one of his suits is comforting, like how it felt when I wore his sweatpants this morning.

Holy shit. Was that really this morning? It feels like a week has passed since the party, and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.

“What do you think?” I ask, angling my body so Killian has a better view of my ass and exactly how little of it the suit covers.

“I think we might not make it back to the room if I have to watch you swim in that for an hour.” He rubs his dick again, and the noticeable bulge makes my own cock perk up. “Good thing the pool is completely private.”

“Stop that,” I admonish and adjust myself. “These are way too tight to be walking around with a stiffy. I’m worried it’ll cut circulation off to my dick if I’m not careful.”

He laughs and pulls a t-shirt and a pair of sweats out of the drawer. “Here, these’ll be more comfortable.”

“It’s a good thing we live together,” I say as I pull on the shirt. It’s worn and soft and smells like his sheets. “That way I don’t have to go far to steal your clothes. Say goodbye to most of your hoodies, because I’m definitely lifting those when we get back to school.”

“Good thing I like seeing you in my clothes,” he says as I pull up the sweats and roll the waistband a few times. “Steal as much as you want as long as you wear them in front of me. And in front of everyone else so they know to keep their eyes and hands to themselves.”

“So we’re not going to keep things quiet when we go back to school?” I ask tentatively.

“Of course not. Why would we?” He shoots me a confused look.

“I don’t know, I just thought with the whole stepbrother thing…”

He snort-laughs. “Trust me when I say it’s weird that we didn’t start fucking until now. Almost everyone I know who has a stepsibling close to their age who isn’t ugly has boned them at least once. No one is going to give a shit about that.” He holds his hand out to me.

“Oh, that’s reassuring.” I take it and fall into step beside him. “And the whole brothers aspect of it?”

“You mean the you being a guy part?”

I nod.

“Don’t give a shit what people think about that,” he says with a shrug. “Do you care?” He tosses me a quick look.

“No,” I say quickly. “I mean, people have been calling me gay my entire life because I don’t date and my only friends have always been girls. I’m used to people talking shit about me, but you aren’t.”

“You really think people are going to talk shit about me because I’m fucking a guy?” He raises his eyebrow playfully. “I mean, they can, but it’s their funeral. Seems like a stupid thing to get on my bad side for, but whatever. Not my problem.”

I snicker as we head down the back stairs together. “You could give a masterclass on not giving a fuck.”

He squeezes my hand. “Do you promise to tell me if anyone gives you shit about us? You can handle them however you want, but just tell me, okay?”

“I will.”

A few minutes later Killian pushes the door to the basement pool open and ushers me inside.

The pool is specifically for laps, and it’s basically one lane that spans almost as long as a regulation pool. It was the place I always escaped to when I was home since no one really uses it, and how I kept up my training during school breaks.

The smell of chlorine is heavy in the air, but instead of being oppressive, it’s familiar.

“Wait here,” Killian says and points to a spot next to the door.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I stand where he said.

“A perimeter check.”

“You don’t have to do that. We both know it’s safe.”

“Will it make you feel better if I do?”

I nod. It’s embarrassing but seeing him check the room will help with the anxiety that’s been bubbling right under the surface of my skin since we walked out of his room.

He gives me a wink and does a thorough check of the room, and his seriousness helps me get over my embarrassment.

When he’s done, he sits on one of the deck chairs, and I strip off my clothes.

I can feel his eyes on me as I make my way to the deep end, and I wait for the panic to set in when I’m at the edge and staring into the water.

It doesn’t, and I sit my ass on the side and slide into the depths.

The water is a tad colder than the pool at the house, and instead of making me panic or freak out, I feel rejuvenated by the familiar sensations of being back in the water after so long.

Almost giddy with relief, I look over at Killian.

He’s grinning, and the proud expression on his face only adds to my confidence.

I quickly grab onto the side so I can push off and start my laps. I have a moment of fear when my head goes under the first time, but I remember Killian is sitting on the side watching, and it disappears before I’ve surfaced.

As soon as I do, I start my stroke and immediately fall into the rhythm of them.

All the extra noise in my head quiets as I focus on each moment and forget about everything except how good it feels to be back in the water and how it’s all because I have the most amazing boyfriend I could have ever asked for.

“Babe?” Killian asks softly as I snuggle up to his side.

We just spent the better part of an hour having sex, and it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.

It was sweet and gentle, and Killian spent most of the time worshipping my body and sucking me off until he got me so worked up I practically tackled him and rode his dick like a madman until we both came.

After swimming and sex, I’m officially exhausted.

“Yeah?” I try not to grin too hard. I love that he’s started calling me that, and I really love how natural it sounds.

“The stuff you said earlier, in front of the mirror.”

My smile falls. I’ve been waiting for him to bring this up since the words came out of my mouth.

I don’t remember much of my breakdown. I don’t even remember punching the mirror or picking up the shard.

The guilt over what happened was overwhelming.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Jace getting hurt because of me, and I snapped.

The next thing I knew, Killian was bursting into the bathroom, and I was spilling my deepest, darkest thoughts to him.

“Do you still feel like that?” he asks.

“Not really. Sometimes I do, but not right now.”

“Will you promise to tell me when you feel like that so I can help you get through it?” He brushes a kiss against my forehead and hugs me a bit tighter. “Please?”

“I promise.” I rub my lips against his warm pec.

“Night,” he says softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say, grateful he’s not pressing me on what happened earlier.

I know he has questions, but I’m not in the right place to answer them right now. I will, but not tonight.

He slips his finger under my chin and tips my face up for a kiss. I sigh against his lips and relax as more exhaustion creeps up on me. He pecks a little kiss against the tip of my nose, which makes me giggle like a damn tween, and tucks me back against his side.

I snuggle into him and close my eyes, sleep already overtaking me.