Page 44 of Wicked Games (Silvercrest U #1)

KILLIAN

I collapse on Felix with a groan as the last of my orgasm peters out. He wraps himself around me with a contented sigh and hugs me tight.

Sex with Felix is hands down the best I’ve ever had.

I love how obedient he is, how he never hesitates to do as I say.

The push and pull with him is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the way he can so seamlessly flip between the mouthy brat who knows exactly how to push my buttons and the pliant stepbrother who just wants someone to take charge is incredible.

He turns his face and catches my lips with his. I kiss him back, giving him a chance to fully come down and sink into the afterglow as our pace slows until each glide of his mouth against mine is long and languid.

When I finally pull away, he blinks up at me, boneless and dazed. My fingers are still inside him, and he lets out a little moan as he clenches around them.

“Do you have any idea how hot it is to feel my load inside you?” I gently ease my finger out of him.

He nods, a slow smile spreading over his lips. “Wish I had a plug so I could keep it in me.”

I groan and bury my face in his neck. “Does anyone else know just how filthy you are?”

He huffs out a soft laugh and rubs his hands over my back in wide circles. “Nope. But then again, you’re the only one who’s ever brought this out in me.”

“What do you mean?”

He gently runs his fingertips over my back and rubs his leg against mine.

“Exactly what I said. I’ve never been like this with anyone else.

Sex has always been kind of meh for me. I have no clue why, but it’s not something I’ve really spent a lot of time wanting or even thinking about. But with you, it’s everything.”

“Have you dated anyone?” I ask and bite back what would have probably come out sounding like a purr as he gently scratches his nails through my hair.

“Nope, never wanted to.” He snickers. “But then again, I’ve never been into a guy before, never wanted to get fucked, and definitely never thought about wearing anyone else’s cum like a brand, but here we are.

” He snickers again. “Hell, all you had to do was turn your bossy on, and I practically melted into a puddle and would have happily thanked you for choking me with your dick if you asked me to.”

“Thank me, huh?” I tease and run the tip of my nose over the shell of his ear.

He lets out a needy groan that makes my spent dick twitch with interest. “Cheater. You know that’s one of my hot spots.”

“Yup.” I do it again.

He shivers and digs his nails into my back. The little crescents of pain feel nice against my cooling skin.

“What do you say, little brother?” I give his earlobe a little bite. “You gonna thank me for giving you the best D you’ve ever had?”

“Well, it’s the only D I’ve ever had,” he counters playfully. “But sure. Thank you for giving me the best D I’ve ever had, big brother.” He lets out a bewildered-sounding laugh.

“What was that for?”

“Just thinking about how ridiculous it is that I’m telling you all this.

Like my brain is saying ‘Shut the fuck up, mouth,’ and my mouth is saying ‘Haha, no.’” He chuckles.

“But then again, I did beg you to fuck me twice, no, three times, and thanked you for it, so what’s a few truth bombs compared to that? ”

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re the only one who’s ever brought this out in me either,” I tell him. Then, just because I can, I fit my mouth over his neck where it meets his shoulder and give it a few hard sucks.

He arches his neck and tilts his head to the side to give me better access. “So it’s not just me?”

“It’s not just you,” I say, then switch to gently biting his abused skin.

“Jesus, that feels good.”

Before I can get carried away, I pull my mouth off him and watch his skin go from pink to red. The marks are light compared to the ones I left on him this morning, and I have to push down the urge to cover his entire torso so everyone knows he’s mine.

I wait for the panic or confusion to hit at that thought, but it doesn’t.

Felix is mine, and he will always be mine.

“So you’re not like that with everyone?” he asks softly, obviously unaware of where my thoughts just went as he peers up at me with those seeking eyes that are going to be the death of me.

“No.” I prop myself up on my forearms so I’m not crushing him with my bulk. “Just you.”

His smile is tentative and sweet, like he’s afraid of showing how much he likes that idea. “Just me?”

“Just you,” I repeat.

His smile is big and bright and so damn happy that something in my chest twists.

I might not understand what’s going on between us, or why it’s happening after years of not liking each other, but I can’t deny that making Felix smile is just as good, if not better, than pissing him off.

Not thinking too much about what I’m doing, I press a kiss against his smiling lips, then carefully roll off him.

“Are you tired?” I ask as we sit on the bed facing each other. It’s late, and we have to head home tomorrow, but he’s still high, so there’s a good chance he won’t be sleeping any time soon.

“My body is, but my brain is doing zoomies.” He chews on his lower lip. “Can we lay down for a bit? Like we usually do?”

Wordlessly, I shift so I’m under the covers with my head on my pillow. Felix slides under them with me and curls up against my side. I wrap one arm around his shoulders and hold him close while he rests his head on my chest.

His solid weight is familiar and comforting, and his sigh of contentment echoes mine.

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” he asks softly, breaking the silence that’s fallen over us.

“I’m not mad,” I assure him.

“Are the twins mad?”

“No one’s mad at you.”

“Good.” He nuzzles his cheek against my pec. “But if you could put in a good word with the twins, I’d appreciate it. They’re scary as fuck, and I’d rather not have them on my enemies list if I can help it.”

“They don’t hate you.” Absently, I run my fingers through his soft hair. “Especially not Jace. He has a soft spot for you.”

“Really?” He sounds surprised.

“Yup. You’ve imprinted on them. Just don’t do anything to betray their trust. You don’t want to see what they do to people who double-cross them.”

“Is it worse than beating a guy bloody and cutting off his finger?”

“Way worse.”

“Noted.” He nuzzles his cheek against my chest again. “I still feel weird.”

“Because you’re still tripping balls.”

“Balls.” He snickers and rubs his cheek against my pec.

“Why did you start taking the pills?” I ask. I’ve been wondering since I found him practically comatose in his bed, and not knowing is driving me crazy. “After what happened in the pool.”

“To stop the nightmares,” he mumbles.

“But why did the nightmares start?” I press.

I know the only reason he’s being so talkative right now is because he’s high on molly, but I don’t feel bad for trying to get answers out of him when he’s not fully in his right mind.

Something triggered them, and I need to know what. If this is the only way he’ll tell me, then so be it.

“I lost my safe place.” His voice is barely above a whisper.

“Safe place?”

He doesn’t answer.

“What does that mean?” I ask. “Losing your safe place started your nightmares?”

“The nightmares didn’t start then. That’s just when I stopped being able to deal with them.”

I wait to see if he’ll elaborate. As much as I want to demand he tell me everything, pushing will just make him keep talking in code until he shuts down. Then I won’t get any answers.

“The pool is— was —my safe place,” he finally continues.

“Always has been. That’s why I was swimming so late.

” He pauses long enough to draw in a shaky breath.

“I’d go to the pool and do laps until I was so exhausted I could fall asleep without the pills.

If I was tired enough, I wouldn’t dream, so no nightmares.

Then I was attacked, and I lost my only outlet.

The nightmares came back, and I tried to go swimming again to deal with them, but I couldn’t. ”

His breathing hitches, and he goes tense against me.

Turning into him, I wrap both arms around his lean frame and hold him closer. I can feel the tension radiating off him, and I want to wrap him up and kill whoever gave him those nightmares in the first place.

“I had a panic attack.” He snuggles into me. “I tried to push through it, but I couldn’t. I still can’t. Even the thought of getting back in the water is too much.”

“What are they about?” I ask softly.

“No clue. They’re weird. I don’t actually remember what I dream about. I only remember how I feel just before I wake up. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like being terrified while your heart is breaking. Like overwhelming fear mixed with the worst sorrow you’ve ever felt.”

“How long have you had them?”

“Since I was a kid. They don’t happen all the time. Just when shit gets bad or when I’m dealing with something big.”

“Do you know why they started?”

He doesn’t answer right away, and I wait to see if he’ll tell me.

“I saw my nanny die when I was ten.”

I barely cover up my shock. What the fuck? How did I not know that?

“We were at the park, and she was stung by a wasp or bee or some other flying stinging thing. Apparently she knew she was allergic to wasps and bees and whatever, but her first reaction was so mild that everyone figured it was no big deal, so they never gave her an EpiPen.” He pulls in a shaky breath.

“Someone called for help, but it took the ambulance almost half an hour to get to us, and she was already gone by the time they did.”

He pauses. I can tell he has more to say, so I keep quiet. “They started again after my dad and his family died,” he whispers. “But they didn’t get bad until I was attacked.”

He smushes his face into my chest, flattening his nose and pushing so hard it feels like he’s trying to merge with me. He stays like that for a few beats, then pulls his face from my pec and lets out a weary sigh.

“I didn’t cry when I found out about my dad and his family. Still haven’t,” he whispers. “What does that say about me that I don’t really feel that sad about losing them, and I’m more upset about losing what they represented?”

I roll onto my side and pull him right up against my chest. “I think it says that you’re human, and it’s hard to care about someone who didn’t really put any effort into giving a crap about you or try to be a part of your life.”

He tucks his head under my chin and threads one leg through mine, like he can’t get close enough. “You don’t think I’m awful?”

“No.” I bite back a smile as he rubs his cheek against my skin and makes soft, contented noises that sound a bit like he’s purring. He really is a needy little kitten. “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Always.” He brushes his lips over my chest in a barely there kiss.

“I think your father is a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve your grief.”

He goes still in my arms, but I can tell it’s because he’s listening and not because he disagrees with me.

“Family is more than just sharing DNA with someone. It’s about showing up and being there for them no matter what.

If your dad couldn’t do that for you while he was here, then he doesn’t deserve your grief just because he’s gone.

” Absently, I press a kiss into his soft hair.

“And there’s a difference between being a father and being a dad. ”

He snort-laughs, his chest shaking against mine. “Isn’t that the damn truth. He might have been my father, but he was never my dad. Hell, your dad’s been more of a dad to me, and I’m just his wife’s kid, not his.”

“That’s because you’re family,” I tell him. “And we always show up for family.”

He falls silent, but I can feel him growing heavy in my arms, like sleep is finally overtaking him.

“I like being your family,” he whispers drowsily.

“I like being your family too,” I whisper back, my chest squeezing with something I can’t place. It’s a sort of longing that has nothing to do with wanting his body and everything to do with wanting all of him.

His breathing grows heavy, and I’m about to wiggle out from under him so I can flip off the light when he presses his half-hard dick against my thigh.

The soft moan he lets out goes straight to my own dick, and we’re both hard in only seconds.

“Later, kitten,” I promise when he starts bumping his cock against my leg.

“Want it now,” he mumbles. “Want to feel you in me again.”

“Soon,” I say softly and slide one hand down his back so I can cup his firm ass cheek.

He makes a disgruntled sound and mouths my pec. “Want you.”

“I know, kitten. And I want you too. But later. Right now you need to sleep, and more importantly, you need to heal.”

He grumbles something unintelligible and sucks on my chest, and I can feel the start of a bruise blooming on my skin.

I want nothing more than to roll him over and fuck him until he’s screaming my name and begging me to make him come, but I hold back.

I wasn’t gentle either time tonight, and I know he has to be sore.

And considering he’s still high on the molly, he won’t feel the full effects of what we shared until after it wears off.

I like causing him pain, but I don’t want to hurt him.

“Let me get the light,” I say softly.

He grumbles something I can’t make out again, but he releases me so I can reach over and snap off the bedside light. As soon as I lay down again, he rolls right back into me and starts rubbing his cock against my thigh as he wraps his body around me.

I nudge my finger between his firm cheeks and slowly push into him. He’s still wet with my release, and I’m able to sink almost all the way inside him with minimal resistance.

His groan is laced with need and relief as he clenches around me, and I once again have to fight the urge to just give him exactly what he wants.

I let him move against me. His rhythm slows until it’s almost lazy, like he’s drawing comfort and not just pleasure out of each gentle rock of his hips.

I have no idea how we got here, but now that I’ve had a taste of Felix, I know one thing for sure. There’s no way in hell I’m ever letting him go.