Page 30 of Wicked Games (Silvercrest U #1)

FELIX

The silence in the room is heavy and oppressive as I stare at the book I’m holding and try to read the words for the umpteenth time.

Tomorrow is the last day of classes before Thanksgiving break, and instead of looking forward to the chance to go home and escape the world for a week, I’m dreading it.

Holidays are a huge deal in Killian’s family, and it’s our turn to host this year.

That means my mother will spend the first half of our break freaking out as she not only organizes dinner for Killian’s massive extended family but also follows the tradition of trying to outdo whatever was planned the year before.

Thanks to the less-than-socially acceptable way my mother joined Killian’s family, she always gets extra neurotic about any sort of family event planning and uses it to try to prove that she belongs and is one of them.

Most of his family has accepted her out of respect for Killian’s dad, but that’s not good enough for my mom.

She doesn’t just want to be accepted. She wants to be celebrated and treated like she didn’t betray her best friend’s memory and usurp her life.

That means my week off will be spent avoiding her so I don’t get roped into wasting my break helping set up for a dinner I don’t even want to go to and dealing with the crowds of people who’ll be at the house while the stupid dinner is happening.

I’d honestly rather stay at school and spend the break alone, but that isn’t an option.

I mentioned the possibility to my mother a few weeks ago during one of our rare calls, but she just turned on the guilt about how much she misses me and how she’s been looking forward to seeing me when I know for a fact she’s more worried about what everyone would say if I wasn’t there than she is about spending quality time with me.

Tomorrow is also the night of the Rebels’ annual Rapture party, and if I’m being honest with myself, that’s fucking me up more than Thanksgiving or anything that might happen during the break.

The party is essentially an excuse for the incredibly exclusive guest list to get high and indulge in some last-minute hedonism before the break.

I don’t know much about what actually goes on since I’ve never been invited, but the fact that everyone who attends has to sign an NDA before they’re even allowed inside tells me exactly what kind of stuff goes down.

Normally I don’t give a shit what people get up to or how my spoiled classmates choose to let off steam, but the thought of Killian indulging in the kinds of things my imagination is conjuring up every time I think about tomorrow night is enough to make me want to put my fist through a wall.

I shouldn’t care what Killian does, and now that he’s officially single, he has every right to do whatever he wants with whomever he wants. I know that this thing between us is just part of the game we’ve been playing with each other, but it’s getting harder to remember that it’s only a game.

Killian doesn’t like me, and he isn’t trying to protect me because he cares about me. He’s doing it because that’s what his family does. I’m his stepbrother, so an attack on me is an attack on him. That’s it, that’s all.

It’s the same with everything that’s happened between us. All of this is nothing but a game and a novel way to get off. None of it means anything, and I need to get the fuck over myself and stop obsessing about where my damn stepbrother may or may not be putting his dick in the near future.

Ping .

The soft chime from my phone startles me out of my daze, and I shake my head as I’m jarred back into reality.

Absently, I pick it up and open my text thread with Eden.

Eden : I hate j so much

Felix : what did he do this time?

Eden : he just told me I have to leave tomorrow after my classes are over instead of leaving with him and the guys on sat

My heart drops into my stomach. Eden and I planned to do a friend sleepover as a last hurrah before the holidays since Jordan will be distracted by the Rapture and won’t have time to micromanage her life.

I was looking forward to spending the night watching bad horror movies and gossiping with my best friend to distract me from all the shenanigans Killian will be getting up to.

Felix : what? Why?

Eden : I don’t know

Eden : I thought maybe it was because he somehow found out we were doing a sleepover and he was in controlling asshole mode, but he wouldn’t answer when I asked why I have to leave early when he’s allowed to stay

Eden : I’m so tired of this crap. I even tried talking to my mom and seeing if she can maybe be on my side for once, but she just brushed me off and said I’m lucky I have such a protective older brother and I should be grateful he’s looking out for me

Felix : does she know there’s a difference between looking out for you and controlling your every move?

Eden : apparently not

Eden : of fucking course

Felix : what?

Eden : Heidi just came home wasted and it looks like she’s about to puke

Felix : gross

Eden : and she just puked all over the floor

Eden : I have to go. There’s a house inspection in the morning and I need to take care of this so I don’t get another strike on my file because my roommate can’t hold her liquor

Felix : good luck with that

Eden : thanks

Eden : I’m going to need it

I wait to see if she has anything else to say, then toss my phone aside when the screen goes dark.

I’m just picking up my book when the door bangs open and Killian comes into the room.

He looks pissed, but that’s pretty much his default setting, so who knows if there’s something wrong or if that’s just his face. He tosses me a look as he closes the door behind him but says nothing as he heads over to his side of the room.

I sit quietly as he pulls off his hoodie and tosses it onto his bed. Then he’s stripping off his clothes until he’s left in only his boxer briefs.

Neither of us says a word as he goes into the bathroom to do his thing.

When the door closes behind him, I put my book aside and climb out of bed so I can strip off my own clothes and shut down the lights. When everything is done, I get into my bed and lay on my side facing the back wall.

I don’t have to wait long before Killian comes out of the bathroom and climbs into bed with me. He presses right up against me and wraps one arm around my waist. I wiggle back so our bodies are completely flush, and he grips me tighter, holding me close as his warmth wraps around me like a blanket.

This is the same routine we’ve done every night since I stopped taking my pills, and I hate the way I instantly relax and how most of the tension I’ve been holding onto melts out of me at his touch.

“Did you shower?” Killian asks. His lips are next to my ear, and his voice is a low rasp that sends a shiver of awareness through me.

“No,” I whisper, my cheeks and neck heating at the memory of him coming on me earlier and telling me not to wash it off.

He lets out a pleased-sounding rumble and presses his dick against my ass. He’s hard, but just like every night, he doesn’t do more than rub it against me a few times before going still.

The scent of something floral tickles my nose. It’s subtle and delicate, and it takes me a second to place it.

It’s perfume.

My chest tightens, and a sour sensation fills my stomach. Did he just roll out of some girl’s bed and crawl into mine? Is that why he has someone’s stinky perfume all over him?

“Did you like walking around with my cum on you?” he murmurs in my ear.

I shiver as his hot breath fans over my skin and try to push the mental images of him wrapped up with someone else out of my mind.

It doesn’t matter who he was with or what they were doing. He’s officially single again; of course he’s going to have some fun after all that shit with Natalie went down. I need to get over myself and recognize what this is and what it isn’t.

“Yeah,” I whisper truthfully. “I did.”

He lets out another rumble and pulls me tighter against him.

I try not to think about how I’m probably not the only person who got up close and personal with Killian’s cum today, but I can’t stop the hurt and humiliation that fills my chest and settles in my stomach.

“Yeah, you did.” He rubs his dick against my ass again. “Slut,” he adds, but there’s an undertone of affection in his voice that takes the sting out of the word.

“Only for you,” I whisper before I can stop myself.

He lets out another of those deep rumbles that’s going to be the death of me and pulls me tighter against him.

My eyes drift shut, and I try to wipe all thoughts from my mind as Killian relaxes behind me. I just need to get through tonight, then I won’t have to worry about seeing him again until after the party and we’re on our way home.

I’m just starting to relax when Killian brushes a soft kiss against the nape of my neck and threads one of his legs between mine. I freeze, my breath catching in my throat as he rubs his lips against my neck again.

His rhythmic breathing and the heavy weight of his arm around me tell me he’s right in that moment between wakefulness and falling asleep. He either has no idea what he’s doing or thinks I’m someone else.

I hold still, not even daring to breathe, as he mouths my neck a few more times, then lets out a contented sigh and finally goes limp behind me.

The rise and fall of his chest against my back is soothing, as is the warmth radiating off his body and surrounding me like a cocoon.

I try to focus on those familiar sensations and not on the lingering scent of perfume, or my wayward thoughts, as I close my eyes and relax in his arms.

“Morning, sunshine,” a deep voice says in my ear, gently pulling me out of sleep.

“Huh?” I mumble and press my face into my pillow.

It smells nice, and it’s so warm and comfortable I don’t want to wake up.

A hand runs over my ass, the touch light and teasing. I moan and push back against it.