Page 241 of Whisper

“You awake?” Dan spun in the front seat of his car, slowing as he braked. Morning sunlight streamed through the windshield. Dust rose around the car, like they were driving off-road, deep into the woods on a rocky, dry track. “How are you feeling, Kris?”

“Why am I cuffed?” Kris rose slowly, slumping against Dan’s back seat. His eyes darted around the car, outside the window. Trees surrounded them. Where were they? Where were they going?

“I didn’t know how you’d be when you woke up. Do you need some water? How’s your head?” His concerned gaze bored into Kris.

Kris groaned, squeezing his eyes closed. He shook his head, more fragments of memories going off like fireworks.

Shut the fuck up! You’ve spread enough lies!

You walked in on something that can’t be understood.

Habibi… It’s him.

“What do you mean, how I’d be when I woke up?” Kris stared at Dan. “What happened?”

“What do you remember?”

Dan. Freeze, you son of a bitch!

He blinked. Licked his lips. Looked at the trees, the dirt track they were deep into. “I was coming to help Dawood,” he said slowly. “Against the mole.”

Dan nodded. “You found him. But you walked in on something you didn’t fully understand.”

Kris stayed still. Silent.

“I found Haddad, too. I was trying to negotiate with him. Get him to turn himself in. Work with us. I offered him immunity if he’d just come in and reveal what he knew about the mole.”

You’re confused, Kris. You don’t know what you’re seeing. You walked in on something that can’t be understood.

“What happened?”

Dan twisted in the seat, all the way around, and showed Kris his black eye, his swollen jaw. “Haddad said no.”

Kris threw his head back against the seat. Closed his eyes. Tried to stop the pounding in his head, the train barreling through his mind.

The car started moving again, rolling forward. Dirt and rocks crunched beneath the tires.

“Kris… the plot about the mole. It was all a lie. It was all just a smoke screen. Haddad was playing you.” Dan reached into the passenger seat and grabbed a torn sheet of paper. He tossed it behind him, into Kris’s lap. “He left a confession.”

Habibi… It’s him.

The words swam on the page, Dawood’s slanted handwriting staring him in the face. He squinted, tried to focus as the car lurched.

Ya rouhi –

Forgive me, for what I am about to do. Everything that happens now happens because of me. Because of my choices.

If I set my heart on anything but you

let fire burn me from inside.

Oh Beloved,

take away what I want.

Take away what I do.

Take away what I need.