Page 38

C ontessa

Somehow I manage to get through the wedding rehearsal without letting on to my sisters the fact my life just tilted on its axis and I no longer know which way is up.

As we all leave, I sense Benito watching me closely from the corner of the room. I walk over to him and tilt my gaze to his. He leans back against the paneled wall and looks down at me through thick lashes, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“I need to see him,” I say, quietly but firmly.

His gaze searches my face, then he nods slowly. “His flight leaves in two hours.”

I press my palm against Benito’s chest, feeling his heart pumping hard beneath the flesh. “Take me to him. ”

He pushes himself off the wall and slides his hands into his pockets, then gestures for me to lead the way through the exit and down the corridor.

His hand touches my shoulder, making me pause and turn around. We’ve stopped at the door to another room. He knocks twice and it opens from the other side.

A soldier I vaguely recognize steps to one side and Fed’s form comes into view. He’s sitting on a chair, his back to the door and his hands have been bound to the chair with the handcuffs.

I feel Benito’s hand at my back, coaxing me gently into the room. I walk slowly round the outer edge of the room until I’m facing my childhood friend. He lifts his head and his face brightens instantly, despite the blood drying around his mouth.

I look over at Benito and the soldier. “Can I speak with him in private?”

Benito’s jaw grinds.

“Please?”

After a painfully long few seconds, he nods and they both leave the room, closing the door behind them.

I tentatively walk to Fed and lower to my knees before him.

“Why did you come back?” I whisper.

He goes to speak but his lips are dry. There’s a glass of water on the table beside him. I lift it to his lips so he can drink. After a few sips I place it back on the table and sit back on my heels.

“I promised you I would,” he says slowly .

A frown knits my brows. “You promised me you’d write.”

He sighs heavily and looks out of the window.

“I couldn’t write you until I had something valuable to say. Didn’t you get my last letter?”

“Your only letter,” I correct. “Yes, I did.”

His gaze doesn’t waver from the window. “I didn’t want you to think I was so weak that I couldn’t seek revenge for my family.”

I reach out to touch his knees, drawing his gaze back to mine. “I never thought you were weak.”

“But, you didn’t love me.”

The hurt in his eyes almost destroys me.

“I wasn’t sure,” I reply. “I didn’t think so, but the more time that passed, the more hurt I felt and the more I wondered if perhaps I did love you.”

“Did?” His tone lilts with expectation. “You loved me?”

I blink slowly, trying to keep a semblance of strength in my heart. I can’t tell him the truth, not when he’s looking at me like this, with so much vulnerability in his eyes.

“Tess…” He shuffles forward on the chair until the handcuffs prevent him from moving any closer. “Tess, what we had was so special. I fucked it up by not writing you, but I thought I would fuck it up more if I told you I hadn’t made any progress in getting revenge on these people.”

He’s rambling but I try my best to keep up .

“When I didn’t reply, you started to question your original feelings for me—I could sense it in your words. You even said it yourself, you felt more for me than you realized. I didn’t want to stop those feelings from evolving, Tess. I needed to hear you say those things. It reassured me I wasn’t going insane. I planned on coming back for you this whole time.”

“And now?” My voice is firm. “Now you know the truth about your father and there is no need for revenge, what now?”

He licks his lips and a flush spreads over his cheeks. He looks like a young boy again.

“I still want you, Tess. I never stopped wanting you. I love you.”

I swallow. I’m not like him. I can’t stay silent and leave him wondering what the hell I’m thinking. “I’ve moved on, Fed,” I say, softly. “My life has changed and I’m happy.”

The hope in his eyes falls. “With Benito Bernadi?” There’s still a tense bitterness in his words.

“Not just with him,” I say, not wanting to twist the knife my words have already driven into his abdomen. “I’m about to become a part of the Di Santo family,” I say, slowly.

His eyes widen.

“Did you not know what you were walking into?” I find it hard to believe he didn’t know this was a mafia wedding involving my eldest sister.

He shakes his head. “Andreas just told me to come here and this is where I’d find you. It was my reward for telling him everything I knew about the Di Santo’s.”

I narrow my eyes, my thoughts stuck briefly on the name Andreas. We still don’t know who this man is and what he wants with the Di Santo’s. “And you didn’t question why I would be here, with the entire Di Santo mafia family?”

“N-no… I just thought perhaps your father was working with them…”

I stare at him, waiting for the penny to drop.

“What do you mean you’re about to become a part of the family?”

I sigh. “Trilby is marrying Cristiano tomorrow. The don.”

He sucks in a breath, unable to conceal the horror in his features. “The don who killed his own brother in cold blood?”

So, news does travel coast to coast. Nevertheless, I don’t have the energy to explain why Savero’s murder was actually a good thing. “Yes.”

Fed pales. “Is that why you’re with Bernadi?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you—?” His arms are shaking behind his back.

“Engaged? No! Bernadi and I are not engaged. But, we are together.” I can’t believe I’m telling Federico when I haven’t even told the rest of my family.

Fed’s voice lowers to a whisper. “Is he forcing you to be with him?”

I can’t help a smile catch the edges of my lips. “No. He isn’t forcing me. Believe me, I tried to fight it, but I’m helplessly in love.”

Fed gasps. “You’re in love ?”

I haven’t even spoken those words in my own head, so God knows why I just blurted them out to Federico, but it’s true. I’m in love with Benito Bernadi. He made me fall hard and fast, and I’m going to kill him.

“Go back to your family, Federico,” I say, smiling.

“You sure you don’t want to come with me?” he asks, but the conviction in those hopeful words doesn’t appear.

“I don’t belong in your world anymore, Fed. And you don’t belong in mine.” I stroke my palm down the side of his face, remembering our friendship and how much it once meant to me.

“I do love you, Fed. I will always love you. But only as a friend. And that’s the honest truth.”

He closes his eyes and nods, sadly.

“Please give my love to your parents. I miss them.” A memory of Mrs. Falconi warms my chest. “Especially your mom.”

His eyes crack open a fraction and I see tears brimming in the corners. “She misses you too. She’ll be pleased to hear you’re happy.”

“I am happy.” I stand and let my hand fall back to my side. “And you will be too, Fed. I promise.”

I turn around and walk back to the door.

“Tess?”

His fractured tone makes me pause. “Yes? ”

“Would you have loved me if he hadn’t walked into your life?”

I take a sobering breath before I reply. “No, Federico. And he didn’t just walk into my life. He is my life.”

And with that, I open the door and step outside, the air feeling easier to breathe than it has in years.