Page 33 of When We Were More (Aron Falls #1)

What could I have done differently to end up in a marriage like Troy and Shannon have, instead of the cold, abusive one I did end up in?

Yep, I’m going down that rabbit hole, and that gets me thinking about Troy, and not only what a good husband he is, but what a great dad he is.

His love for his family is obvious. When it comes to the kids, I’ve watched to see if he favors one over the other, and I don’t think he does.

So, if fathers don’t always favor one child over another, what is it about me that my own dad didn’t love me as much as he loved my sister, Claire?

Hell, it’s not even past tense. He still doesn’t love me like he loves Claire.

Spending time with Claire was always his first choice.

But me? He never chose me. He tolerated me, at best. I can’t figure out what I did—or am still doing—that keeps him from caring more for me.

A single tear rolls down my cheek at the same time I hear a familiar, sweet voice calling my name.

“Tillie! Tillie!”

I turn my head in the direction the voice is coming from, and see Layla skipping to me, full of joy.

I quickly wipe that solitary tear away and plaster on a smile.

Then I steal a quick glance at Henry and see concern on his face.

I don’t hold his gaze. I can’t. It doesn’t matter because we’re just friends.

Friends don’t have to tell each other everything.

Thus, he doesn’t need to see this ugly part of me.

It might make him less interested in the benefits part.

Layla comes in hot for a hug, and I don’t refuse her.

Normally, I wouldn’t hug someone’s kid without their parents’ permission, but I’m pretty sure my choice is between potentially irritating said parent and hurting this little girl’s feelings.

I’m more than willing to irritate Henry if it means saving Layla from hurt.

She wraps her arms around me, and I squeeze her tight, looking up at Henry, who’s smiling now as he watches Layla and me.

“I didn’t realize you were coming to this.” Okay, I sound lame.

“Yep. It’s our first one, and someone motivated me to get out and make some friends in the community.” He winks at me.

“Tillie, did you know that Rudolph flies around the town square at night to tell Santa when all the kids are in bed? Then he goes back and reports to Santa before they start their trip.”

I decide I should play along.

“I did. I bet you’ll be in bed plenty early so he finds you’re asleep when he gets to the cabin, right?”

Layla nods, her eyes wide.

“I will for sure! Lena, too. But she’s still little, so Santa will understand if she wakes up at night, right?” Worry mars her cute face.

“Yes, Santa will understand. Don’t worry. Do you want to know something else?”

“Yes,” Layla answers immediately, her full attention on me.

“I have a present for you and one for Lena. I’ll give it to you when I see you after Christmas.”

Layla grins, and I see a gap where she’s missing a tooth. It makes her smile even more adorable.

“I have one for you, too. I made it special. You’ll love it.” I’m thrilled at the confidence this little girl has, and I’m aware a large part of that is because of how everyone treats her and how Henry raised her.

I peer at Henry to find him holding Lena close and stroking his hand down the back of her head repeatedly as she fights sleep.

When he plants a sweet kiss on top of her head, I’m pretty sure my ovaries stand up and cheer.

I force myself to turn away. Witnessing what a wonderful dad he is does nothing to help keep my heart in check when it comes to our situation.

Before anyone else can speak, Sally steps out of the hardware store, and Layla runs over and hugs her.

“Hi, sweetie. Would you like to go inside for a few minutes and have some hot chocolate? Your little nose is red from the cold.” She bops the end of Layla’s nose and earns a giggle. Sally looks over at Henry, who nods his approval. Then Sally and Layla are off inside.

“Is this seat taken?” Henry gestures to the chair next to me, and I shake my head. As he sits with a now-sleeping toddler in his arms, I notice how good he looks in jeans, a thick sweater, and trendy winter boots.

With how he’s cradling her, Lena’s facing me, and she looks angelic. Without thinking, I brush some hair off her forehead. It hits me then that maybe that’s not okay. I dart my eyes up to Henry’s face to find him looking at me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think?—”

“Tillie, stop. It’s okay. I’m glad you like the kids, and they like you.

It’s okay.” His free hand reaches over and lightly squeezes my shoulder.

I assume he meant it to be reassuring, but it also seems affectionate.

Especially when his hand lingers, and his thumb rubs back and forth over the skin on my neck.

“You looked upset when we first walked up. Is everything okay?”

I force a smile and glance over at the town square. It’s too difficult to look at him right now and answer that question.

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m fine. I was a little emotional.

Good emotional, though.” It’s not technically a lie, I did have happiness for Troy and Shannon, but he doesn’t need to know I also spent a little time in my head about the other things.

“A minute or so before you walked up, my friends, Shannon and Troy, were here with their kids. They’ve reconciled, and I’m incredibly happy for them. I love seeing them together.”

“Is that who I saw you watching walk away as we were approaching?”

“If it was right before you walked up, then yes.” I turn back to look at him again.

“You’d like them, I think. Troy is a wonderful father.

Kind of reminds me of you, actually.” I tilt my head as I look at him.

A flash of something I can’t quite put my finger on, maybe uncertainty, flashes across his face before a smile quickly replaces it.

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

Our eyes lock on each other. Something in the air changes, yet it’s not that ‘You turned me on, let’s go find somewhere to have sex’ vibe like I imagine friends with benefits sometimes get. That, I’m okay with. This? This is a little scary.

I break eye contact and stand.

“Let’s go in and see how Layla’s doing. You can see Lester’s masterpieces.”

Henry watches me for a moment, saying nothing, then stands.

“All right, Matilda. We’ll go in.” I give him a sharp nod, then turn and go into the hardware store.

As soon as she sees us, Layla excitedly says, “Tillie, Daddy, come see the pictures Mr. Lester makes in the hot chocolate. He’s making me a snowman now!” The joy on her face is enough to turn around any lingering sadness.

Henry and I join Layla at the table while Lester works, and she’s bouncing on her toes with eagerness. Within a minute or two, Lester unveils his creation and grins as she squeals with delight.

“Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” Henry says.

“Yeah, not what you’d expect from Lester, huh?”

Henry chuckles and shakes his head.

When I glance back up at Lester, he’s watching Layla’s delight at his creation with bright eyes and a smile so wide that I’ve only ever seen it aimed at one person until now—me.

I bet Lester would have been a great dad, too.

I have no doubt he’d be a fantastic grandpa, based on how he was with me, and now, watching him with Layla.

Lena is awake now and crying, and Henry seems reluctant to hand her off to Ruthie, who has made her way over to join us and is reaching for the toddler.

“C’mon, young man. Crabby babies are my specialty.” I can see on Henry’s face that he doubts Ruthie can handle Lena’s crying, but he doesn’t refuse. Good thing, too, because Ruthie wouldn’t have it. Within a minute or so, Ruthie has worked her magic and Lena is giggling.

Layla’s tugging at Henry’s coat now, drawing his attention to the fake tattoo station Sally is manning.

He smiles at me and follows her over. Since Lester has a break in the crowd for now, I walk to the other side of his table and wrap my arms around his waist. He doesn’t hesitate to lift an arm and let me nestle under it.

“Lester?” I gaze up at him. “You know I love you, right?” His cheeks turn pink.

“Yeah. I love you, too, Tillie girl.”

“You’re great with kids. I hope this isn’t weird to say, but you were always like a grandpa to me growing up and…

” I pause for a second, then swallow the lump in my throat.

I’ve gotten this far, and these moments with Lester and me—or anyone—are infrequent.

“And since I’ve been home these last five years, you’ve been more like a father to me.

Thank you for that.” My words are almost a whisper by the end.

Lester clears his throat twice. Then he wraps his other arm around me. As we hug, he kisses the top of my head.

“Tillie, your grandpa was a friend of mine, and I can tell you with confidence he’d have been proud of you.

As for me, you’ve been a source of joy for me since the day you walked in here with your Gram, with dirty little hands and cheeks.

My God, you talked a mile a minute back then.

” He pauses, and we both chuckle. “Seriously, though, it has been an honor to be in your life, Tillie girl. Blood doesn’t always make family. Love does. You’re my family.”

The excited chattering of children suddenly fills the front of the shop, and both of our eyes dart to the entrance of the store. A group of five kids, middle school-aged, charge through the door in search of Lester’s hot chocolate.

“Duty calls.” He kisses my head one more time, and we pull apart. “You got time to pour, and I’ll get started?”

I wipe away the few tears that had fallen. God, my emotions have been on hyper alert lately. These are happy tears, but still.

“Sure do.” As I reach for the first cup to pour, my eye catches Henry off to the side with Layla, watching me.

He mouths, “Are you okay?” His eyes narrow with concern. God, he has nice eyes, the most gorgeous shade of green.

I smile at him, nod, and give a thumbs up like a total dork. Then I get back to work.