Page 26 of When We Were More (Aron Falls #1)

“No, of course not. Any chance you’d pour me another? I take it the same as you.”

“Sure.”

Then, everyone is moving. Ten minutes later, Lena is cleaned up and down for her nap, Layla has her headphones on and is watching the same princess movie for the millionth time, and Tillie and I are sitting at the table.

I’ve grabbed a legal pad to take notes and have it with me.

“Oh, you’re serious about getting a working plan for the bathroom done. I was beginning to wonder.”

I glance at her, and she’s sporting the prettiest, playful smile.

“Well, you still want to get started after Christmas, right? If that’s not your timeline or if financially it’s not feasible, that’s okay as well.” I realize she recently splurged on a major expense for her kitchen.

She waves her hand at me.

“No, I definitely want to do it. I’m in desperate need of a better bathtub and a shower that I can move around a little in.

Plus,” she looks down at her napkin for a second, “my grandmother had the money saved for this remodel. She never had the chance to get it done before she became so ill. When I inherited the house, the remodeling fund came with it. I’ll be able to get everything done that I want, and then some. ”

I don’t say anything yet, as I sense there’s more. When she finally looks me in the eye again, there’s a hint of sadness that wasn’t there earlier.

“This might seem like a frivolous thing to some people, but it’s important to me to renovate the house and restore the original beauty when I can.

I need to do this for her. Yes, I’m definitely going to reap the benefits, but Gram and I spent a lot of time planning these rooms together—mostly her—and she really wanted it.

She-she made me promise I would still do it.

The woman even had one of those social media accounts with several vision boards for each room. ”

I think this is one of the deepest conversations we’ve had to date—at least without alcohol involved—and I like it. I like that Tillie’s trusting me to talk about this. That she’s putting her faith in my company with this project that’s incredibly important to her.

“Hey, I absolutely get it. Glance around this place and you’ll see twelve years of me trying to make this what I think my dad would have wanted it to be.

I love it here, but it is on the small side for us, and it was his dream for his forever home.

Not mine. I’m trying to make it happen for him, though.

So, don’t ever apologize for your reasons.

You don’t ever need to explain them to anyone. ”

We spend the next thirty minutes looking at images of bathrooms. I show her my open concept shower, and to say she loved it would be an understatement.

She sat in it for a solid five minutes. Once the business is all taken care of, I think she’ll rush to leave, but I’m pleased when she doesn’t.

Instead, she sits back down at the table.

She glances over at Layla, who is now fully engrossed in her movie. She smiles, then looks back at me.

“Your girls are beautiful and special, Henry. And you’re great with them.

Meeting Layla initially and watching you with her made me start to think it’s possible you weren’t a total arrogant asshat.

But seeing you with them today solidifies it.

You might be more than the cocky contractor who I’m aware intentionally likes to push my buttons. ” She’s smiling now.

“Does that mean you don’t hate me anymore?” I tease.

“I never hated you. Strongly disliked you at times, yes, but there was never hate.” Her grin is almost flirty when she looks up at me through her long lashes.

“Well, good. Now I can take these two back to their real parents and get back to my evil ways.”

She rolls her eyes at me again.

Her face turns serious, and she bites at her lower lip. I think it means she’s hesitant or nervous, if I’m learning her body language like I think I am.

“You can tell me to mind my own business if you don’t want to talk about it, but the girls’ mother, is she around or are you a… are you a?—”

“I’m not a widower, Matilda. Only a single dad. But, no, their mother isn’t around.”

“Oh. Okay.” She picks at her cuticles, and it’s clear she’s uncomfortable.

“If you’ve got time, I’ll tell you the story. Friends should probably know it.” When she looks up at me, I wink at her to lighten the mood.

“I’ve got time,” she almost whispers.

“Well, when I met Jeana, Layla was about two and a half. Jeana grew up here in Aron Falls. I met her before I moved here, when we were still in the planning stages for the company to relocate here. I was spending a lot of time here between planning for that and working on the cabin. I met her at a bar, and we were casually seeing each other. It was never serious, but we both were okay with what it was, and neither of us was looking for anything more. Things ended after about six months. Four months later, Jeana texted me that she needed to talk. She was five months pregnant despite us having used protection.”

“Oh, shit. That must’ve been a lot to take in.”

“It was. I thought the right thing to do was to marry her. It was my responsibility to take care of them. So, we got married about two months before Lena came along.”

“Did you love her?” Her gaze is intense. I won’t lie to her even if it makes me sound like an asshole.

“I cared about her. But I wasn’t in love with her. I’d like to think I was good to her, though, and tried to make her happy. I would have stayed married to her and been faithful because it was the right thing to do.”

She looks away from me and does that lip nibbling thing again. I worry I’ve said something that made her uncomfortable, but I’m not sure what.

“Where was Layla’s mom during all of this?”

Now I’m confused. “Huh?”

“Layla’s mom. While everything was happening with you and your wife, was she still seeing Layla regularly and all that?”

I realize then that I haven’t been clear enough with my explanation. I guess it is an unusual situation.

“Jeana is—or was, I guess I should say—Layla’s mom, Tillie.

When I said she was already here when I met Jeana, I meant Layla was Jeana’s daughter from a previous relationship.

Anyway, right before Lena was born, I legally adopted Layla because I didn’t ever want her to question how I felt about her.

I couldn’t love her any more than I do. Jeana had no idea who the biological father was, meaning there was never one in the picture, but Layla knows?—”

She gasps.

“God, that makes so much more sense now.” She looks up at me with those blue, almost gray eyes.

A man could get mesmerized looking at them.

“When I first met Layla at my house, she said to me: ‘My daddy wasn’t my first dad, but he picked me and he’s my forever daddy.

’ At the time, I was totally befuddled and just chalked it up to confusing things kids say. Shit.” She pauses. “I need a second.”

Tillie leans back in her chair and places the heels of her hands over her eyes. She takes a few deep breaths, then moves her hands, wipes her eyes, and looks back at me.

“Sorry. That’s absolutely beautiful, Henry. She knows you chose her. I can’t tell you how much that means to a kid.”

I get the sense she knows from personal experience. It also strikes me that whatever happened to make her understand what that feels like, for her, it wasn’t a positive experience. It was extremely painful.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, please. I want to hear the rest.” I see her glance over at Layla before looking back at me.

“Lena was born, and everything was okay at first. But Jeana grew restless and almost resentful of the kids. Sometimes, it seemed like she was jealous of the time and attention they received. I’m aware that sounds weird.

It’s like she didn’t appear to have maternal instincts.

She hated it here in Aron Falls, but especially here at the cabin.

She wanted something fancier, more modern.

Then, when Lena was about a year old, Jeana took off for a few weeks.

No contact whatsoever. When she returned, she asked for a divorce. ”

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not. It was best for everyone.”

“How often does she see them?”

Here’s the part that always makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it too much. I take a deep breath.

“She doesn’t. She didn’t want any visitation or formal custody.

She told me she wanted a divorce settlement of $100,000 cash, and she wanted to sign away all rights to both girls.

At first, I was opposed, not because of the money, which doesn’t matter, but I couldn’t believe she’d give up rights to the kids.

She made it clear she was fine not having rights to them, and she was willing to put a price tag on them.

Now, both girls are one hundred percent mine, I’m divorced, and Jeana hasn’t shown her face back in Aron Falls or even tried to call for almost fifteen months. ”

I watch Tillie closely for her reaction. Her face is red and her eyes glossy.

“I-I need a minute. Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course, I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“Oh, my gosh, no. Henry, I promise it’s not you. I… I mean, how? How could someone walk away from those two precious little girls?” I know it’s rhetorical, and I watch as a tear drop spills onto her pretty cheek. “I’ll be back.”

She rushes off to the bathroom.

It’s almost five minutes before she comes back. Her face is a little splotchy, with her eyes rimmed slightly in red, but she’s not crying.

“Tillie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“Please, Henry. It’s not your fault. But I should probably go. I’m guessing I’ve overstayed my welcome.” She forces a smile.

As if on cue, Layla pulls off her headphones because her movie is over, and I can hear Lena’s cries as she wakes up from her nap.

Tillie says goodbye to Layla, and I’m not surprised when Layla gives her a giant hug. What breaks me a little is seeing my baby watch through the window as Tillie drives away, then hearing her softly say, “I hope you come back again.”