Page 50
“You and Celestine were childhood friends,” he said. “You loved her so much when you were kids, I thought those feelings would return to you if you were around her again. Clearly, I was mistaken for a fool.”
My head began to ache.
“No. You know what?” He looked at me. “I know you are still in love with her. You just can't seem to cope with it, so you think killing her will crush those feelings too.”
I'm not in love with her.
Niko's voice began to rise. “Well, let me tell you something, Hyacinth, killing her won't bring back who you were. It won't make things go back to normal—it'll only drag you further from it.”
Stop talking .
“Do you know how rare it is to find someone who changes you for the better? Do you understand that not everyone is lucky enough to find love like that?”
My jaw tightened.
“I want you to think about the consequences of your actions and what could have been.
I will not be giving you any assignments and you are not to go out for anything except school until I see that you actually feel remorse for what you've done.” He picked up his bag, before leaving to pick Cel up for training.
I stood there, trembling, my body on edge. Seeing blood wouldn't be enough to ease this particular craving.
I needed Cel.
I needed her so bad, I felt ill.
Without her powerful presence, the world had turned dull and colourless. An ache settled in my muscles from the absence of her cool touch. Every breath felt shallow, my lungs only wanting to inhale the scent of her. Every sound grated me, because none of them were her voice.
Cel was a drug, and I was addicted.
***
I knocked on Jerome's door and he answered it, rubbing his eyes. “What the hell, Psycho? It's way too early for this.”
It was six in the afternoon.
“Come with me.”
He released a big yawn, scratching the top of his head bald. “Let me get changed.”
I waited a few minutes before he was ready.
“Where are we going?” he asked me.
“House hunting,” I said.
He furrowed his brows. “Why? Niko kick you out already? ”
“He's about to,” I said. I'm eighteen now, legally allowed to buy a house, and I had enough in my personal account to buy a decent one. I always assumed Niko would kick me out the moment I turned eighteen, though he hasn't said anything about it just yet. Now I'm absolutely positive he's going to.
“Huh,” Jerome said. “Alright.”
We met up with a woman in her early thirties and Jerome took that as his chance to find a wife.
“What are your thoughts on this one?” the woman asked me.
It was a large townhouse on the West side.
I don't know what it is about the West, but I preferred the laid-back vibe of it over the suffocating, uptight East. It was also significantly cheaper.
The outside of this place looked worn down, but inside had been newly refurbished, almost like a secret hideout in plain sight.
There were two stories with five bedrooms and three baths, generously spaced.
This was my favourite compared to all the others we had looked at that evening.
“Isn't this a bit too big for you?” Jerome asked.
I squinted at the layout. I don't know why, but I had a strong feeling I would be taking in strays later in life, like Niko had taken me in. Even if I don't, I like the space.
“It's meant more for larger families or for those who want to share with friends,” the woman explained.
“I'd love to have a large family,” Jerome smirked, winking at the woman. Jerome’s resume did not include flirting under skills.
The woman's eyes hardened, but she was working so she couldn't say anything to paying clients.
I asked the woman for more details, the cost, the surrounding area, the plumbing, the electricity, all of it .
“If you get me the down-payment tomorrow, I can have you moved in by the end of the week.”
“I'll just pay the whole thing.” I hate the thought of owing anyone anything, especially the bank which the government controls.
The woman's face paled. “Oh, yes, of course.” She became flustered, not expecting that since we had only been looking at places in the West side.
“Can you pay my rent too?” Jerome joked.
I actually considered doing that for his twenty-fifth birthday. “You can just move in with me.”
He laughed, but I wasn't joking. The woman informed me that after the payment went through, she'd give me the keys.
Jerome and I walked back to his apartment, him inviting me to sleep at his tonight. Though Niko has banned me from leaving the flat, I didn’t want to be around Niko and his disappointed stares so I accepted. We went through an alleyway and Jerome paused in his steps.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He crouched behind one of the large metal bins and I followed to see what caught his attention.
It was that orange cat, the one that was once pregnant a few weeks ago. She had her kittens, barely a week old. All of them were beaten senseless. Dead. My heart clenched at the scene in front of me. How could someone do this? These kittens were innocent, just trying to survive in this awful city.
A single grey kitten staggered, nuzzling his mother. The only survivor of the horrific murder. His brothers and sisters scattered around, bloodied and motionless.
“Come here, it’s okay,” Jerome whispered, outstretching his arm for the kitten to come to him .
The kitten meowed, his ears still folded, eyes barely opened.
Jerome carefully picked up the kitten. “She’s so cold,” he said, holding her close to his chest.
Jerome and I took the kitten to the vet, confirming she was a girl and only six days old.
She had an infection in her eye, and they removed it.
She was luckier than the others, most likely hid from the murderers.
Jerome decided to keep her and named her Borealis.
When I left Jerome’s home early the next morning, Borealis was curled up on top of him.
***
It was Wednesday when I saw Cel in the hallway, we were both coming from opposite directions, surrounded by our own friends. Her friends were chatting to her, but she wasn’t listening.
“Hey, there’s Cel.” Jamiel nudged me. “You going to get her back for that glitter stunt?”
I waited for her to do something first, but she avoided my eyes as she passed me, like I didn’t exist at all. I was suddenly breathing through a straw.
“Cel,” Iri called for her, but Cel ignored her, even when her friends were telling her that Iri was trying to get her attention, she just kept walking.
“That was cold,” Lin said.
“Did you guys fight?” Iri folded her arms across her chest.
I’d rather it have been a fight than this, at least we could have gone back from that. “No.” If we fought, we wouldn’t leave each other alone.
“Then, what did you do to her? She couldn’t even look at you.” Iri squinted at me. “And she won’t talk to me.”
“Drop it, Iri.” I glared at her and she flinched. “Sorry,” I quickly said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Are you okay?” she asked, genuinely concerned.
“I’m not sure,” I admitted, shoving my shaking hands in my pockets .
My friends exchanged looks with each other, but eventually dropped the topic.
***
When I got home, I locked myself in my room to meditate. I continued even after the sun had gone down, but I couldn’t focus properly.
Standing up from the floor, I headed into the kitchen. I was cursing at myself under my breath as I poured myself a glass of water. Calm down, Hyacinth. Just talk to her, but what would I say?
“What are you doing up?” I jumped at the voice, spilling a bit of water on the floor. “You have school tomorrow.”
I turned to Niko on the sofa, watching a movie with Renee. How was I so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even notice them or hear the movie?
“I couldn’t sleep,” I muttered, I hadn't slept properly for a long time now.
“I can see that. What’s on your mind?” he asked, gesturing for me to come sit with them. I knew he was only acting nice because Renee was here.
Renee paused the movie.
I didn’t go closer, not wanting them to see my face. I pulled my hood up over me. “I think I messed up.”
“Why do you think that?”
I shook my head, resting the glass on my lips. “I did something that I can’t go back from.”
You'd think nearly killing Cel would be the end of our relationship, but because we're both so sick and twisted, kissing each other was the thing to end it all. How cruel.
“Who did you kill?”
The relationship I had with Cel. “It’s worse than that.”
Renee gasped. “I know that face!”
My eyes widened, no way, I have such good control over my face. Are my emotions so strong they’re peeking through or am I too tired to fight them?
“He likes someone.”
I quickly turned to get more water. “No, I don’t.” I don’t know what I felt for Cel. I don’t even tell my friends or Niko and Renee that I like them. The best compliment anyone could receive from me is that I tolerated them and that’s as far as I will say Cel was to me. Someone I tolerated.
“Is it Celestine?” he questioned.
“Who’s Celestine?” Renee giggled, excitedly.
“Cinth is training her,” Niko answered. “They’re around the same age. You should see them together.” He shuddered. “They’re so powerful and she’s not even scared of him.”
Stop acting like you're suddenly rooting for us. Just last week he went off on me, forcing me to stay away from her.
Renee squealed at the gossip.
“And I’ve never seen Cinth so protective and gentle with someone before,” he added. “More gentle than he is with Ophelia.” Renee’s cat was cute. I liked her.
My jaw clenched. The amount of bullshit coming out of Niko's mouth. I am anything but gentle with Cel.
“No way!” Renee gasped.
The glass broke in my hand, and they silenced.
“What did you do to her?” Niko asked.
I couldn’t say it out loud, it was too embarrassing. Something nobody would expect me to do. I stared at the shallow cuts in my hand, bleeding, and shook my head. “She won’t even look at me.”
“Did you hurt her? ”
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