Page 28 of When It Reins (Three Rivers Trevors Ranch #5)

mitch

I take one final deep breath before I dismount from my bike. In summer, it is all I want to ride, but lately I’ve been using my car for times when Juniper is around. It is easier, plus I can hold her hand and look at her face.

I can’t believe what a sucker I’ve become.

She doesn’t even realize what she does to me.

That’s the funny part. Every time we’re together, she acts surprised that I’m still here, still hanging around, still following her home every night, or dragging her to the cabin.

No idea what she’s shocked about. The girl has to know that my feelings for her are very, very real.

I have never been with someone like I’ve been with her, not on a deep committed level. I never expected to find myself in that type of relationship, never knew that I actually could feel that way about anyone.

Before Juniper dropped into my life—or I dropped into hers—I assumed that I would spend the rest of my life alone.

Now the thought of her leaving my life, of either of us going our separate ways, is like a knife to the gut. I don’t want to even think about it.

From a distance, I can hear the loud talking, the whistling, the stomp of hooves against sand and the cows mooing from their pen. I see Jax sitting on top of a fence, his hat shielding his face as he watches someone in the arena work with someone else.

I step closer, keeping enough distance between me and the group of people—mostly kids—so that I don’t get noticed right away.

Jax extended the invite for me to come and observe today, and that was all I intended on doing. I’m not ready to step back into this kind of arena, to ride another bull. It’s been a long time since I did that, and while fear isn’t what is holding me back, falling on my ass in front of a crowd is.

Jax claps his hands, obviously pleased with whatever was going on in the arena, and I see a girl driving a four-wheeler around, a dummy cow attached to the back, and a small person on a horse chasing after it while swinging a rope over their head.

I notice Bonnie as the one on the four-wheeler, her smile wide as she watches the kid behind her chase after the cow.

The outdoor arena at Three Rivers is littered with more people than I’ve seen in it in a long while, but as the ranch grows and expands its disciplines, I suspect it is only going to get busier from here.

Having the rodeo school at the ranch turns out to be a great idea. Not only is it already set up for the different things the kids—and adults, if they want—could learn, but those who may not be interested could head over to CT and find something else to do.

I see that now, see what my brothers and cousins have been rebuilding here since CT asked my brothers to come and work for him. It is quickly morphing back into the family business it was always supposed to be.

I feel something churn in my gut and tuck my thumbs into my front pockets. I don’t want to admit to myself that this is where I want to be, that working at the bar and with the club is only a way to pass the time. For what, I still hadn’t figured that out.

But there is envy within me as I watch my brothers move around this ranch with ease, knowing that they all have a place here, that it is their home away from home. I don’t have that, but it isn’t their fault.

On the contrary, me not accepting the jobs that they extended is all on me.

Now that the secrets are out of the way, I feel more at ease, but there is still unfinished business with the club, and part of me loves being a part of that as well.

I just don’t know if I can have it all.

“Hey, big brother,” Jax says, loud enough to draw some attention to me. I give him a subtle nod, not wanting to make a big fuss over my being here.

The four-wheeler pulls up, and Bonnie waves at me, her grin spreading as she does. “Hey-ya, Mitch!”

“Hey,” I call out, unsure how to act with my other brother’s girl. She is friendly and pretty funny when she doesn’t mean to be, but we aren’t close.

Jax heads over as Bonnie gets distracted, changing out the kid that is on the horse with another.

“How’s it going?” My brother slaps my back and smiles at me, happy to be in an element where he knows what he’s doing and feels confident in doing it.

“It’s fine,” I say, keeping my voice low. “Roping today?”

He nods. “Yup. One of our first classes this week.” Jax’s smile grows, and his eyes beam with excitement. That is the Jax I know, the one that is excited about life. It is nice to know that wasn’t snuffed out by our old man. “Tomorrow is our barrels class.”

“What else you teaching?” We step up to the arena, and I rest a foot on the bottom rung of the fence, watching Bonnie speak to the kid on horseback with confidence.

“Just about anything rodeo.” Jax shrugs, nodding toward the barn. “A few kids went with reining lessons, which CT was thrilled about. Didn’t even realize having the rodeo school here would open that up for them, but I’m glad it did.”

I nod my head. “It’s good that he’s doing well.”

“Definitely,” Jax says, then he looks over at me and subtly nods at the arena. “So what do you think?”

I suppress a sigh, unsure what answer he’s looking for, but give him the best one I’ve got at the moment. “I haven’t ridden in a while.”

“There’s a lot of working up to the actual riding. Do you think you’d be up to giving some intro lessons at least?”

“Jax.” I shake my head, confused. “You rode too. You don’t need me to teach bull riding when you’ve got the knowledge.”

Jax looks away for a moment, and I let him have his time to come up with an answer. Then he turns to me and smiles, giving a shrug of his shoulders. “I’d like to work with my brother. Is that so bad?”

His answer catches me by surprise, and maybe that’s foolish of me, given the way my brothers have tried to pull me into their orbits with them. I should have expected something like this, should have prepared myself for the way they would pull me into the fold again.

Sharing my biggest secrets with them was something that I knew would move us all forward, but I didn’t expect the amount of forgiveness that I received.

“Let me think on it,” I say, giving myself an out that I shouldn’t, but Jax just smiles and nods at me, like he knows that I’m bullshitting him, when we both know that eventually, I’ll say yes.

“Smells good in here.” I make my way into my mom’s house, the smell of lasagna floating through the air. Chatter greets me, and I have half a mind to ask if these family dinners we’re suddenly having are for my benefit.

Since that would likely draw attention to me, I don’t dare.

Entering the main part of the house, I pause when I see my mom in the kitchen, laughing at something the pretty brunette standing beside her just said.

Little Starling.

She looks up, having heard my voice, and gives me a shy smile with a little shrug of her shoulders. Bonnie swings by me, a pitcher of tea in hand, and throws me a wink on her way to the dining room table.

But my attention is quickly diverted back to the person who’s now tethering me to the room. Juniper approaches me, a basket of bread in hand, and smiles again.

“Hey,” she whispers, and I’m very aware that the room quiets at our greeting. Not in a the world stops moving whenever we’re around each other way, but in a my nosy family wants to hear everything kind of way.

“Hey,” I reply, sliding my hand around her waist and pulling her into me. She steps freely and relaxes when she’s in my arms, her free arm going up and around my shoulders and giving the back of my neck a scratch.

I could ask her how she was here, but one look at my mother would likely answer that question. I don’t care why she’s here, I’m just glad she is.

Her gaze meets mine, and there’s a smile in her eyes that I can’t deny looks a little hesitant. “I’m happy to see you,” I say.

That does it. The words seem to melt the worry from her, and she slides her arm back down mine until her fingers interlace with my own.

She pulls me behind her, leading the way to the dining room like she’s done this a thousand times, and like the man who’s obsessed with his girlfriend, I follow willingly.

Someone made enough room at the table for all the couples to sit together, and I glance around, looking for the missing person. “Where’s Lue?”

Juniper sets the basket of rolls on the table as my mom brings in the first dish of lasagna. There was likely another one sitting in the kitchen that we’d dig into in a minute. “She’s at Bottle Grounds.”

I glance at my mom, who smiles at Juniper’s answer, and she catches my eye. “I was dropping her off at work when I saw Juniper there, and I exchanged the girls.”

“Mom, did you kidnap Juniper?” Stetson asks the question, humor in his eyes, and Mom shrugs unashamedly.

“So what if I did?”

Juniper giggles, and Jax slaps his thigh. “Dammit. What’s with these women getting snatched up?”

“We need a better handle on them,” Stetson replies, using his fake serious voice.

“Maybe a dungeon,” Logan adds helpfully, giving in to the teasing.

“I’ve got one of those.” My comment lands hard around the table, and Juniper looks at me in surprise. My brothers already know what I’m talking about: the part of my cabin that’s under strict lock and key and houses weapons and gear in case of emergency.

However, Juniper’s never seen it. Not that I mind if she does, but she probably does not think my dungeon is a place where I store weapons.

“Damn, Juniper. You go, girl,” Bonnie comments, and I feel a blush rising to my cheeks.

“Not that kind of dungeon.”

Juniper’s face seems to redden, and she smiles gratefully at my mom, who pours her a glass of iced tea. “Thank you.”

“Mitchell, no dungeons for our sweet girl here,” Mom adds, making the situation way worse. Jax is laughing so hard there’s no sound coming out, and Stetson looks like he’s trying to hold it in.

“Mom…” I shake my head, unsure where to go from here and thankful when Felicity pushes Jax back up and looks to Bonnie.

“So how was rodeo school?”

The conversation from there ebbs and flows. The food gets eaten, even the second pan of lasagna. The babies get covered in red sauce that their parents unsuccessfully contain.

And Juniper’s hand finds its way into mine under the table.

Normally, family dinners are something that I tolerate. I come and converse as minimally as possible, smile when my brothers end up with food on their clothes courtesy of one of the toddlers, and make my mom happy because I’m not hiding away from the world.

This time, I’m grounded to my seat. With her hand in mine, my chest is able to expand and contract normally. I don’t have to remind myself to breathe, but I just do because she’s right here next to me, making everything in my life easier.

She eats with her left hand and keeps her right in mine, and I don’t know how she does it as gracefully as she does, but I’m grateful, nonetheless.

At the end of it, us boys take care of cleaning up the kitchen, and the girls take care of the kids, everyone pitching in so we don’t leave a mess for our mom.

Then Mom stops in front of me, her eyes glittering with excitement, and says, “I can’t tell you how happy I am, Mitch.”

I nod, glad she caught me alone and not in front of everyone else. “Me too, Ma.”

She reaches up, placing her hand on my cheek. “I was so worried for you when you came home. Seeing you with such a good girl has put my heart at peace. Is this a forever thing with her?”

I grab her hand and hold it in my own, giving her a nod so I’m not too loud. I don’t know about Juniper, but for me, I am going to ride this out for as long as I can. Hopefully forever.

She closes her eyes with gratitude and pulls me into a bone-crunching hug. “Thank God.”

I smile slightly and hug her back. I know she was worried about me. It was why my little niece and I got so much quality time when I came back home. It was why I never got a moment’s peace when I lived in this house, and it was the reason I worked so hard to get myself my cabin.

“She needs a ride home. I really did kidnap her tonight.” With those words, she pats my chest and steps around me to head into the den, and I laugh at her comment.

I follow behind and spot Juniper coming out of the room, her eyes sparkling at me with happiness. I grin back at her, lifting a hand and bracing it above the doorjamb.

“Any chance I could get a ride, stud?” Her hands reach for me automatically, and I’m happy to pull her body close to mine, my hand resting around her lower back as my nose finds her neck, and I breathe her in.

“Thank you for being here.”

She pulls her head back so she can see my face and smiles. “Happy to be here for you anytime.”

I lean down, unable to stop myself from tasting her lips after not being able to for hours. She obliges until we hear some cheers from behind her.

Blushing, she pulls back, then smiles at me and winks. “Care to show me your dungeon?”

I lift a brow and shake my head. “Are you ready for that?”

“Oh, I’m ready.”