Page 38 of When Hearts Unravel (The Orchid #6)
I wake up to a cool breeze grazing my skin.
Then I feel him.
Rex’s muscular arm drapes across my waist, one hand resting over my breast, his leg tucked over mine.
He’s a cuddler.
I don’t know why, but the thought makes me smile.
Soft, even breaths puff against my head, the intoxicating smell of sex and his cologne in the air. Then I remember the events of last night.
I had sex with Rex Anderson. Not once, not twice, but three times.
After he took me against the carpet, he carried me to the shower, where he then fucked me against the tiled wall.
My cries—sounds I didn’t know I could make—and his grunts reverberated in the small space.
Then when he slid into the small full-sized bed with me.
He spooned me from the back, but not before inserting his hard cock inside me and making slow, sweet love to me.
“One more orgasm so you’ll have good dreams,” he said right before ecstasy washed over my body in tremors.
He whispered, “Mine,” repeatedly before he groaned long and low, his cock throbbing as he unloaded his hot cum inside me.
I broke all my rules. Trampled my ethics like castles built of sand.
He’s high profile, a public figure, a known womanizer, and has the press breathing down his neck.
We were in public—anyone could’ve seen us making out by the fire last night, or they could’ve seen him holding my hand, dragging me into a nondescript motel. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what we were up to.
Holy shit.
My pulse races, a knot forming inside my chest, even as a smile tugs on my lips. It’s strange, having this collision of emotions—fear of being discovered mixing with guilt after making a bad choice—the worst choice, really.
But also happiness and excitement. Despite everything, it feels…right.
Butterflies swarm inside my stomach, and my heart skips several beats.
Then I slowly deflate.
While I’m discovering the new me, I do know one thing—I’m not a temporary plaything. My heart is already too tangled up, and if I continue, I’ll only get hurt in the end.
“I can hear you thinking,” Rex murmurs and pulls me tighter against him.
I wince, my core aching when I shift on the bed.
“Was I too rough?”
“A little, but I loved it.” I love it a lot—being used, degraded, worshipped, my mind completely blank as pleasure consumes me. It was freeing, embracing the degradation, being the imperfect, bad girl.
He slides his hand between my legs and cups my pussy.
A moan slips out of me when he massages it, his hips moving slowly behind me, his cock hardening and digging into my ass cheeks.
“I’m insatiable for you. Last night was the best night of my life.” He tugs my earlobe into his mouth.
Sparks renew inside me and I’m getting wet again. My core aches, both from our rough sex, but also from an emptiness only he can fill. I want to lose myself in his arms.
An insidious voice—my own—whispers, “He’s the prince of pleasure. Rex-A-Million. This is probably a normal night for him. Don’t think too much of it.”
“You probably say this to all your women.” I pull his hand away from my core.
He stills, and without warning, he flips me over and cages me below him.
Eyes flashing, he leans down and grazes his nose with mine. “Never. I never say this to anyone. You’re the first.”
My heart skips another beat. Really? Is this more than a temporary fling?
Then a thought occurs to me—something I’ve always wanted to confirm with him.
“What’s your relationship with Bree? You guys mentioned you weren’t together, but then in public…”
My voice trails off and I brace myself. While my gut tells me they aren’t intimate, I should’ve verified before I slept with him. But things got out of hand.
A muscle twitches in his jaw and my heart sinks. Please don’t tell me I’m wrong.
Obviously guessing my thoughts, he cradles my face and says, “Bree and I are friends. That’s it. Nothing more. I wouldn’t have slept with you if I had something with her.”
I frown. But what about the intimacy between them? The way they act like a couple sometimes?
“Please trust me. I can’t tell you everything now, but maybe someday I can.
” He sweeps his thumb over my cheek. “What happened last night has never happened to me before. Sex was a means to an end to numb myself…but with you,” his eyes glitter and he kisses me, “I could finally breathe. Like I was reborn.”
My gaze roves over him, trying to identify any tells, any signs he’s lying. But all I see are honesty and vulnerability.
Then indignation churns inside me. If I’m so special, why can’t he tell me everything? What is he still hiding?
It doesn’t matter, anyway. There are so many other problems.
“But, Rex. I’m your doctor. There are rules about it. It’s forbidden—”
“You’re fired.”
I shake my head, knowing it isn’t so simple. Good reputation, once ruined, is hard to get back. “Even if that’s the case, people will figure it out. You were once in my care and…”
I’m going to be brave and honest. This new me embraces uncertainty. I’m no longer standing in the shadows or hiding indoors when it rains.
“I know myself. I can’t be a temporary fling. I can’t have sex without strings. I’m looking to settle down, for a relationship, for the potential of forever. Unless you can give me that, I need to protect myself.”
His body stills, his eyes scanning my face, his nostrils flaring. I hold my breath and wait for his response, wishing, hoping he’d say something that would dissolve the knot inside me.
Say you want the potential of forever with me too. Say I’m worth the risk.
I want him to choose me because I’ve never been chosen before.
But then he swallows and looks down, and that infinitesimal gesture tells me what I need to know.
A sharp pain pierces my chest.
If it feels like this after one night, he could destroy me if we let this continue.
His eyes are sad when he says, “If I were a better man, if things were different—”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to say anything.”
I roll out from under him and silently get dressed.
“Olive, fuck. Please. I need you. Let me think.”
Turning around, I give him a sad smile. “It shouldn’t be a hard decision.”
No. I deserve someone who’d jump at the first opportunity to be with me.