Page 59

Snowflakes dust my hair and clothes—the small crystals glinting off daylight.

A smile curves on my lips as I tilt up my head under the weeping beech tree in the courtyard, admiring the first snow of the year descending from the sky.

She’d love this.

The first snowfall represents new beginnings.

Her favorite time of the year.

Putting my hand out, I watch the delicate flakes land, then melt in my palm, the world slowly becoming a white winter wonderland around me.

I’m going to find her after this—to apologize for running away in the hospital, for allowing my panic to drive my actions.

Fate has given me a third chance with her.

I can’t waste it.

Inhaling the frigid air, I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of nature—the branches swaying; the birds singing their songs.

Then I hear it.

Soft footsteps, the lightest breathing.

My favorite scent—lavender—floating to my nose.

“Ethan?”

The dulcet voice, which to this day, doesn’t fail to rouse a heat inside my body.

Slowly, I turn around, finding her, my love, my Nova, standing there, looking like an angel descended from the heavens .

She’s clad in an ivory puffer coat, dark jeans and boots, her fiery tresses draping over her shoulders.

Her cheeks and nose are pink as she stares at me with those brilliant, sky-blue eyes.

“Lexy,” I murmur, watching as she stops a foot away from me.

“How could I’ve forgotten?” she whispers, her eyes glistening with tears.

My heart stutters. What is she saying?

“You’re wrong.” Her gaze roves over my face, her lips tipping in a watery smile.

“My love for you isn’t only for a few months… It’s for a decade too.”

She rests her hand on my cheek, and my breath hitches.

I feel her touch in my heart.

“You’re the keeper of my dreams. My north star.”

My breath freezes, her words reverberating in the slither of air between us.

Keeper of her dreams. North star.

“Nova, wh-what are you saying? Are you saying you—”

A teardrop slides down her smooth cheek and she nods.

“I remember, Ethan. My heart has always remembered you, but now, I remember us . I remember it all. Our journal, our literary riddles, our texts. I remember my keeper and Delaney, the man who’d have a beautiful picnic here in this courtyard with me because I loved him. I remember planning out our future, starting with the ghost pepper challenge.”

My muscles seize, a burning sensation forming rapidly behind my nose and eyes.

I snatch her hand in mine, my fingers trembling, shaking at what she’s telling me.

“Ethan,” she sobs, “you must’ve been so lonely all these years.” Alexis shakes her head, her face crumbling as I press my lips to her icy fingers, a multitude of thoughts throwing themselves around my mind.

I can’t think. I can’t process.

I’m afraid to hope.

“How could I’ve forgotten you? How could I?” She bites her lip as more tears wet her cheeks .

Her grief and guilt wreck me.

I don’t want her to feel this way.

It isn’t her fault.

“Shhhh,” I whisper.

She throws herself into my arms, and I bury my face in her lavender-scented hair.

I’m finally home.

“It’s not your fault, Lexy.” My voice is raw.

“You’re a fighter—against all odds, you came back to me. You clawed your way back from death’s door and gave us a second chance. And for that, I’m forever grateful. So damn grateful.”

“P-Polaris.” She shakes in my arms and I hold her tighter against me.

I don’t want to let go ever again.

“That’s the name for the north star. You’ve given me all these clues all along—teaching me finance, just like before, your emails, your poems, your photos, I-I’ve been blind to them!”

I shush her, not wanting her to beat herself up anymore.

“Do you blame me, Lexy? Maybe if I’d taught you how to swim back then, if I insisted on coming to you that day, we wouldn’t have lost all this time.”

She shakes her head vehemently.

“Stop it. If you aren’t angry at me for losing my memories, why would I blame you for something you couldn’t control?”

Alexis cradles my face, her voice urgent.

“You listen to me, Ethan Anderson. You did save me. You taught me how to swim. Without you, we both would’ve drowned in the Hudson. I’m not mad at you. Not a single bit!”

A weight lifts from my chest. “You once asked me why I always stood to the side in the photos, and I never answered you. But I want to tell you now.”

Drawing back, I wipe her tears from her cheeks.

“Because you stood next to me as I completed each bucket list item. You were there in my heart, on my mind. Every item I did was me hoping to send good karma into the universe, because I knew you believed in it.”

Her breath hitches and moisture gathers in her eyes again .

“Don’t cry, Lexy. Everything I did was out of love. I was hoping you’d feel the love and hope I had for you. That I held on to the belief one day you’d come back to me. That I never forgot you.”

My voice is raw.

“Because you’re unforgettable.”

She hiccups and hooks her arms around my neck before slamming her lips on mine.

Our kiss is desperate, fire and ice, a winter storm brewing for a decade.

My nerves come alive, a warmth spreading from my heart to the rest of my body.

There’s no room for fear, doubts, or anxieties.

There’s only room for our love and the certainty that we’re the readers of each other’s books, that we’re the happily ever after poets and writers pen in the novels housed in the beautiful building next to us.

I taste her tears and swallow her moans, and she does the same with me.

Our lips and tongues tangle, my hands gripping her tightly, molding her to me.

She remembers. She remembers everything.

“I love you, Ethan. I-I fell in love with you twice—all those years ago, and again after I lost my memories. I love you so much.” Alexis gasps when we break apart for air.

Her lips are swollen and plump, and my heart skips a beat.

“Not as much as I love you.” I press another kiss on those pouty lips.

I brush her hair away from her face, watching a new flush bloom on her cheeks.

There’s still something I need to do.

Slowly, I drop to my knees and pull out the ring box from my jacket pocket.

I had it with me because I knew I wanted to give it to her tonight, if she’d still have me—fears, scars, and all.

Her eyes widen and her hand flies to her mouth.

“Lexy, my Nova, my darling hummingbird and dreamer.” My voice is rusty with emotions as I utter the words I was afraid I wouldn’t get to say again.

“I’ve loved you since you barreled into me on the doorsteps of this building, and I’ve fallen deeper and deeper in love with you with every letter you’ve written and every moment we’ve shared. Because of you, I realize I’m capable of love. Because of you, I’m the luckiest man on earth.”

Raking in a shaky breath, I continue, “I’ve loved you for a decade and will love you for all the years to come. I can’t imagine life without you. Will you take me as I am—scars and all? I can’t promise you I’ll never be afraid, that I won’t be overprotective or overbearing, but I’ll work on it, with you by my side, if you’ll have me.”

I open the lid of the box and reach for her hand.

A lump forms in my throat.

“My supernova, will you marry me?”

A ragged sob escapes her lips and she nods.

Vehemently. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll marry you a thousand times.”

My heart bursts with light, elation rushing through my veins.

My hands tremble as I slip the ring onto her finger.

She falls into my arms, pressing unending kisses on my lips.

“I’ve waited a long time to hear your answer, Lexy.” I close my eyes, clutching her tightly.

“A very, very long time.”

“I love you. I love you. I love you, Ethan.” She kisses me over and over again.

We finally pull apart and look at each other—our faces a mess of tears and clumps of snow sticking to our hair.

I lift my finger and graze it down the bridge of her nose, and I smile.

“Not as much as I love you, Lexy. Never as much as I love you.”