Page 11

Past: Two Years Before the Accident—Eighteen Years Old

My phone vibrates on the locker room bench inside the IPA.

Taylor grabs it before I can stop her and looks at the screen.

Her expressive brows arch toward her hairline.

“Who’s Delaney? And why is he talking about some gift and—Hey, I was reading!”

I snatch the phone away from her, my blood thrumming.

“None of your business, Lil’ Tay.”

“Dude, I just turned fifteen. Stop calling me little. I’m taller than you.” Taylor crosses her arms over her leotard.

“What are you hiding there, and why do you look like you’ve swallowed a whole bucket of red crayons?”

My face flames and I glance away, fighting the urge to look at his text.

We don’t text a lot—Keeper and I—we’re traipsing on a high wire a hundred stories up from the ground and a slight tilt of our bodies will send us plummeting.

Into something more.

Do I want something more?

The warmth spreads to my extremities, and suddenly, the tank top I have on feels too constricting.

Yes, I do.

“Sheesh, you should look at yourself. I’ve never seen you look this way…not even with Dayton.” Taylor prances over and tries to grab my phone again .

“Oh my God, stop it!” I squeal, darting away.

“And to answer your question, Delaney is a classmate from Broadbent. He’s just helping me move things for college in a few weeks. We’re coordinating schedules.”

The lies pour out of me.

It’s silly, falling for your pen pal.

If Taylor were the one telling me this, I’d warn her—be careful of strangers.

There are a lot of weirdos out there.

“Hm. Not buying it. Unless you want to climb him as payment for his moving services?” A blush creeps up her face.

Taylor is a virgin, but she’s very curious.

Little does she know, I’m not experienced on that front either.

“You go get some on your own when you’re old enough. Stop trying to live vicariously through me.”

“I’ll wait for my prince before I do it. My very own Prince Siegfried to my Odette.” She lets out a dreamy sigh, clearly thinking about the white swan and her prince in the famous ballet, Swan Lake .

I look at the clock and tsk.

“Don’t you have practice now?”

“Ah crap!” She darts toward the door and hollers back, “Don’t think you’re off the hook, Alexis!” I chuckle as she disappears from view.

Blowing out a breath, I sit down and unlock my phone.

Sure enough, a text from him awaits me.

Delaney

I’ve decided on a gift.

And I have a confession to make.

I frown, my fingers flying over the keypad.

Alex

You’re a sixty-year-old creep and you’ve been catfishing me all along?

Delaney

Catfishing usually involves photos.

We haven’t exchanged any.

Alex

You’re stalling.

You better not be a creep.

A knot appears in my chest. No way, right?

I shake my head. No way, Delaney is definitely who he is.

I know it in my gut.

A few seconds later, he puts me out of my misery.

Delaney

No, I’m very much me.

I’m twenty-two, almost twenty-three, six-foot-three, and have brown hair and gray eyes.

And I know what I want for my present.

Delaney

I want a date…

with you. In person.

A pulse batters against my throat and the flush from earlier is definitely back, because the room just got ten degrees hotter.

An array of emotions charges through me, the first and loudest being happiness, the tingling in my chest spreading to my hands and fingertips, and I want to squeal.

He wants to meet me.

To date me. He likes me.

It’s not only one-sided.

I swallow, my fingers hovering over the keypad, wondering how I should reply.

Can’t be too desperate, but dammit, I’ve always been honest with him, so why lie now?

But then, the doubts sweep in.

I think about Mom and how she’s halfway around the world, not a single call or message to me.

Then there’s the sad dip of Grandma’s head when I mentioned UNYC.

Dayton’s pitying glance before we broke up when he said he had to carry the weight of being at Columbia by himself.

Charles and Liam’s sympathetic hugs and pats on the head, telling me everything’s all right because they’ll always support me.

Then they all disappeared back into their lives.

I’m invisible once more .

The more I stare at Delaney’s text, the more the uncertainties build—a pressure cooker gathering steam.

He just got promoted and is moving up in the world.

He has found his footing and direction.

He is adulting. What would he want with an average, almost nineteen-year-old who is floundering?

Why would he want you when your family often forgets you?

The thought douses the embers inside me.

Shoulders slumped, I answer him.

Alex

Why ruin a good thing by meeting?

Aren’t you worried you’ll be disappointed?

Delaney

How can I be disappointed when you’re you?

Are you scared? I can share my info with your friends and let them track my phone if you’re concerned.

We can meet somewhere in public.

He’s so damn thoughtful.

I find myself wavering.

Alex

I am scared.

But not for the reasons you think.

We’re in different places in life and I want to be more sure of myself before I see you.

I gnaw on my lip and add more.

I want him to stay in my life.

Alex

And I do want to see you.

If I had everything together, I’d say yes, no questions asked.

I just don’t want to screw it up with you.

You mean too much to me.

Delaney

You won’t.

Trust me, Alex. You won’t disappoint me.

Take a leap of faith.

Didn’t you used to tell me, don’t wait to live because the clock keeps ticking?

And there’s a reader for every book?

Well, I want to read your book, and I believe in you .

Delaney

I’ll even teach you how to swim.

Help you get over your fear.

I’d never let you sink.

My breath hitches as tears gather in my eyes.

My fears. My mottos.

He remembers them. I really want to meet him, but I desperately don’t want to disappoint him.

An idea occurs to me and my fingers fly across the keys.

Alex

How about I meet you halfway?

Give me some time to get my shit together.

When you get promoted to finance manager, I’ll meet you in person.

By then, I’ll be in college and I’ll figure out what I want to do with my life.

A minute passes by. I see three dots appearing, then disappearing.

Finally, he replies.

Delaney

What if we run into each other before then?

Would you run in the opposite direction?

I grin.

Alex

Finally, a what-if question from you.

And don’t think I didn’t notice how you never answered my last question.

If a rock smacks me on the head and I don’t remember you, what will you do?

Delaney

Maybe I’m saving the answer to tell you in person.

And I think it’s time for you to answer one of my own what-ifs, don’t you think?

I stare at his text and bite my lip.

The answer is obvious.

Alex

Well, if we run into each other, then it’s meant to be.

And who am I to argue against fate?