Page 16

16

Bodhi

My body protested when I slid away from Em’s warm, naked embrace and from beneath the thick blankets piled on the bed. Goose bumps prickled my bare skin the second the cool air touched me, working a shiver down my spine.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Em asked, catching me around the hip before I could stand. The skin on my ass still stung, flesh aching when he tugged me over the soft sheets.

It was the first time he’d ever really laid into me like that in public… and, God, was it good. I didn’t even realize I needed it until I saw the whipped cream and candy cane pieces clinging to his shirt.

I’d been mortified by what I’d done and couldn’t get the hell out of there fast enough.

I went too far. I figured he would leave me to find my own way back to the chalet.

He should have.

He didn’t.

He barely even batted an eye, then went full-on daddy mode. After what happened in the bathroom, I figured we’d go straight back to our place.

Nope.

Apparently, his daddy mode didn’t end with reddening my ass and calming me down. He made me go back to the café where I’d just caused a scene and sit on my freshly paddled ass and eat the sandwiches I’d ordered. He’d even had a fresh peppermint mocha brought over. We drew some stares, and my face was probably as crimson as the skin beneath my clothes, but Em remained unbothered as if he didn’t even notice.

Obviously, I wanted to leave. Just take the food and go. He gave me a level, unblinking glare and told me to sit there and eat my lunch because I needed the energy. He must have been right because, after a couple forced bites, I realized I was ravenous and attacked the rest of the food. When he put part of his in front of me, I ate that too.

Only after I’d eaten more than my share and drained an entire glass of water and my mocha did he say we could go. The chalet was empty and quiet when we got back, and we went right to the room. There, he stripped me down, slathered my ass and thighs with cream, and then wrung another two orgasms out of me.

A few hours later, I was well-fed, well-fucked, and loved better than I thought possible.

“It sounds like everyone’s back,” I answered, hearing the faint sounds of voices and doors opening and closing.

“All the more reason to stay in this bed.”

I let myself relax against him, breathing deep the scent of sex still lingering on his skin. He nibbled across my shoulder to the underside of my jaw. My skin stung slightly from the beard burn he’d already left behind.

“I told Jess I’d help her with her dress.” I reminded him.

“And I told you I wasn’t letting you out of my sight the rest of the day,” he countered. “You can help her tomorrow.”

“But we have the rehearsal dinner and everything,” I said. “Plus— ungh .” My sentence turned into a grunt when he pushed his arm between my legs and strongarmed me on top of him, lifting his thigh between mine.

I rubbed against him like a cat.

“Plus what?” he asked.

“Huh?” It took a moment to remember I’d been talking, and when I did, I scowled at him. “Stop distracting me.”

“I like you distracted.”

“Exactly why I need to do this now.”

He pulled back. “Explain.”

“I’m a little nervous about giving her the gift I got for her, so now’s a good time because I’m relaxed and achy from three orgasms and a spanking.”

His palm cupped the side of my face. “She’s going to love it, baby.”

“You really think?” I debated.

“Mmm.” He agreed. “You know I’m so proud of you. You’ve really made an effort to get closer to everyone. I know it’s been hard.”

It was hard. I lost a lot of confidence in people and in myself when my twin sister died. When my parents abandoned me and I ruined my relationship with Rush. When that kind of trust is broken, things are never quite the same. My eyes were more cynical. Heart hardened. I somehow grew conditioned to see the worst in people—even myself.

Em made it better, building me up but also breaking me down when needed. It wasn’t a “fix” because there was no fixing the scars life inflicted. But I could be happy even with their existence.

It was a process, something I might always have to work at, but that was okay too.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay.” Part of making an effort to be part of this family was making that effort on my own. Em did a lot for me, but he couldn’t do everything.

Emmett slid his palm over my ass, giving it a gentle pat. “All right, sweetheart. But don’t take too long. When you’re done, we’ll get in the hot tub.”

I groaned, thinking of how good that was going to feel on my well-used body. “Yes, please.”

“Put some clothes on. The only one allowed to see all this is me.”

I kissed the tip of his nose and slid completely out of bed, the wintry air chasing me all the way to the suitcase where I flung fabric around until I found a pair of Emmett’s sweats and a matching hoodie.

The second I was dressed, he snatched me from behind. Gasping, I glanced over my shoulder. It was on the tip of my tongue to say something bratty, but he wrapped his arms around me and dragged his beard against my cheek, humming.

“I want at least two more orgasms out of you today,” he said against my ear.

“Three wasn’t enough?”

“I will never have enough of you,” he rumbled. “You can give Daddy two more, can’t you, baby?”

I whimpered. “I’ll try.”

“You will,” he intoned, no room for argument.

I nodded.

“Come straight back to the room when you’re done, and we’ll change for the hot tub.”

“Yes, Daddy,” I whispered.

After a brief kiss, he left me there to go into the adjoining bathroom. I grabbed my sewing kit and gift bag sitting nearby and went to find Jess.

I found her, Landry, and Rory in her and Kruger’s room, the door wide open. It was the biggest bedroom in the house with a large sitting area attached. And while every room in this place had a great view of the mountains or snow, this one probably had the best. The entire back wall was made up of large windows overlooking a snow-covered yard that gave way to a dense cluttering of trees all heavy with snow. Beyond that, a white-capped mountain rose majestically into a gray sky.

Being from Malibu and having traveled a bit over the years, I was no stranger to good views, but even this made me stop and stare.

“Oh, Bodhi,” Jess called.

I realized then that I was standing just inside the door like some creepy stalker. At least I was staring outside, though, and not at the women.

Not that I would stare at women anyway.

Shit . I was nervous already.

“Hey,” I said, holding up the small sewing kit. “Would now be a good time for me to take a look at the dress?”

“Actually, it’s perfect,” Jess replied, waving me farther into the room.

“Yes, the guys aren’t back yet, so it will be a lot less chaotic.” Rory agreed.

“We actually didn’t realize anyone else was here,” Landry said. “Is my dad here too?”

I felt my cheeks warm a little. “Yeah. We were in our room.” Then because I still felt awkward AF, I said, “I think Em is a little sore from all the skiing and snowmobiling.”

Landry laughed.

“Nothing wrong with a little quiet time,” Rory said. “Madison and Jamie snuck off for some of their own.”

“Would it be easier if I put the dress on?” Jess asked.

“Um, yeah. Then I can make sure the buttons are in the right place.”

“I’ll just go change,” Jess said, pointing to the ensuite and disappearing.

“I’m going to grab my camera,” Rory said, dashing from the room.

She was the one taking the photos for the wedding, but I wasn’t really sure why she needed it now.

That left me with Landry.

Let the awkwardness ensue.

“How was snowmobiling?” she asked.

I grinned. “Fun.”

“So you drove like crazy and gave my dad a heart attack,” she surmised, shaking her head.

“You know he likes it,” I teased.

Landry smiled. “He does. You’re really good for him, Bodhi.”

I expected banter. Some jokes. Not a suddenly sincere declaration.

I swallowed and nodded, unsure what to say.

“Thank you.”

My eyes whipped up to Emmett’s daughter. “What?”

She smiled again and closed the space between us. “Thank you for making him happy. For loving him.”

“H-he makes me happy too.”

“Can I hug you?” she asked.

Reluctantly, I nodded.

Her arms went around my shoulders, and she squeezed close. I hugged her back, staring at the windows but not seeing the view.

“You’re not bad… for a stepdad,” she said.

A laugh burst from me, releasing pressure I’d been holding in. “Better not let Rush hear you say that.”

She giggled and pulled away. “You’re good for him too.”

There was a sound of distress from the bathroom, and we both turned toward it.

“Ugh! I can’t believe it.”

“What’s the matter?” Landry rushed into the bathroom.

I hung back because I wasn’t sure if Jess was dressed.

Seconds later, Jess appeared in the doorway, a beautiful tulle and lace gown with a plunging neckline covering her tall frame. “I lost the buttons,” she announced, face falling. “I thought I had them, but now they just aren’t there.” She shook her head, eyes turning watery.

“Oh, don’t cry!” Landry fussed, rushing out of the bathroom to console her. “I’m sure we can find some.”

“But where?” Jess asked, voice wobbling.

“I’ll just rip some off Rush’s dress shirt. He doesn’t need them anyway.”

“But how will he wear his shirt?” Jess asked.

Landry waved her hand. “He can just button his jacket.”

All of us laughed. The idea of Rush walking around with a half-unbuttoned shirt under his tux jacket was almost too good to pass up.

“I might have some that will work,” I offered, placing my stuff on a nearby table and pulling the top off the kit.

“Really?” Jess asked, eyes hopeful.

“Well, let me at least look before we go popping buttons off Rush’s shirt,” I mused. I wondered what Em would say if I went to our room to pull buttons off my shirt.

He’d probably spank me.

Tempting. But my ass was still sore from earlier.

“Oh,” I said, fingers slipping over a small packet. “How many do we need?”

The tulle on Jess’s skirt fluttered as she came over and spun, showing me the back. The lace fluttered open, revealing her shoulder blades and midback.

“Okay to touch it?” I asked, hesitating as I reached out.

“Of course,” she said, leaning forward a bit to scoop her long brown hair over her shoulder and give me more room.

After gathering the lace and pulling it together, I decided. “Three will work.”

Releasing the lace, I moved back to the kit, plucking out the small baggie. “Do you have anything blue?”

Jess turned. “Blue?”

I nodded. “I have these three blue buttons. I could make them work.”

Landry gasped. “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue! I can’t believe we forgot that!”

“I didn’t forget,” Jess said, glancing at me. “I just figured we were busy enough trying to plan a wedding in a week. Why add more?”

“It’s your wedding!” Landry protested.

Jess shrugged a little. There was a different air shimmering around her all of a sudden. Something I recognized.

“Well,” I started. “The dress is new. These buttons are blue.”

“The shoes I’m wearing are old,” she said, rushing across the room to pull a pair of short, white fur-lined boots out of a bag. “They’re Uggs. I, ah, got them secondhand.” A little bit of insecurity shone in the depths of her brown eyes. “You won’t be able to see them with this big skirt,” she said, gesturing to the full tulle and lace. “Plus, I know Rory wants to get photos of us in the snow with the mountain as a backdrop.” She pointed to the window. “I figured these would be better than heels.”

“I’m totally getting a shot of you standing in the snow with the trees behind you and the skirt in your hands so we can see those boots sticking out,” Rory said, coming back into the room with her camera in hand.

“That’s such a cute idea!” Landry exclaimed.

Jess didn’t seem sure. “Really?”

“Yes!” Both girls agreed.

“It adds personality and character,” Rory said. “And those things photograph beautifully.”

“Well, if that’s the case, your photos will be the most beautiful because Kruger is full of personality and character,” I mused.

Jess pressed a hand to her mouth and giggled.

“You two”—Rory gestured to Jess and me—“smile!”

I balked, feeling a little unsure myself.

“C’mon, Bodhi. I need some photos of the seamstress who’s saving the day for the bride.” She paused, peering around the camera. “What are male sewers called?”

I cleared my throat. “A seamster.”

“That sounds inappropriate,” Landry deadpanned.

“We’ve been hanging out with the guys too long,” Rory said. “Because I, too, agree. That just doesn’t sound right.”

We all laughed.

“So the blue buttons are good?” I asked, dumping them in my hand to show them to Jess.

She leaned in. The camera clicked. “Yes. It adds character,” she said, glancing at Rory.

Rory nodded and clicked a few more shots. “Jess, turn so your back is to him. Bodhi, can you hold the dress? Maybe get your needle?”

One of the needles inside was already threaded with white thread, so I picked it up and held it.

“Perfect,” Rory said, snapping some shots. “Now this camera,” she said, lifting a second one from around her neck. “I’m taking both digital and analog photos for the wedding. I want to have both options.”

We posed the same way, and then I put my arm around Jess’s waist and she leaned in for a photo of us together.

To be honest, it made my stomach feel a little funny.

“So I can either sew the buttons on while you’re wearing it or you can take it off, but I’ll have you put it back on so I can make sure I did a good enough job.”

“I’ll just leave it on. I promise to stand still.”

“Well, I can’t promise not to stab you. But I’ll try.” I winked.

She laughed.

A wave of homesickness for my sister washed over me. It was so strong that I swayed.

“Bodhi?” Jess worried, reaching out to touch my arm.

I was silent a moment, then forced a smile. “Sorry. I… ah, sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” Jess asked. Her voice was so sincere that my chest tightened.

“Nothing,” I said, turning toward the table to line up the buttons. I reached into the kit for more white thread. “Ouch,” I hissed, jerking my hand back and shaking it out. “ Shit .”

“What happened?” Jess fussed, reaching for my hand.

I tugged it away and stuffed my finger into my mouth. The tangy taste of copper bathed my tongue. “I’m fine,” I said, pulling it out to look at it. “I just pricked my finger on a needle. I wasn’t being careful.”

“Bodhi,” Jess implored with the same tone as before.

My shoulders slumped.

“Maybe I should get my dad,” Landry suggested.

“No,” I said instantly. After this morning, I didn’t want to give Em any reason to worry. I was fine. I could handle a little nostalgia over my sister. “I’m fine, honestly.”

Landry agreed but seemed a little unsure.

I smiled, hoping I didn’t look deranged. “Mind if I wash my hands before we start?”

“Of course,” Jess said.

I laid aside the needle and went into the bathroom. I avoided the mirror, afraid I’d see that haunted look in my eyes from before.

When I came back, Landry and Rory were gone. “Where’d they go?” I panicked, thinking Landry went to get Em.

“They heard the guys come in downstairs and went to see them.”

“Oh. Did you want to go…?”

“No. I want to do this.”

“Okay. It shouldn’t take very long,” I said, grabbing the first button and needle and thread.

Jess turned, making sure her hair was out of my way, and then I set aside my supplies to grab a couple pins, deciding to pin the fabric where the buttons would go.

Once that was done, I got to work on the first button.

“So do you like sewing?” Jess asked.

“Mm.” I agreed. “Yeah. I’m still learning. I’m better with a sewing machine. I’m best at sketching and design, though.”

“Madison told me your drawing is beautiful.”

I paused. “She did?”

“Yeah, the costume sketches you did for the theater department were the best she’s seen, she said.”

I wasn’t sure what to do with the compliment, so I focused on sewing the button without stabbing Jess.

I was starting the second button when she spoke again. “Feels a little weird to be doing this without a mom.”

My fingers fumbled and dropped the needle. It dangled from the thread already attached to the gown.

“Feels sort of like some of the traditions that go with a wedding don’t really apply to me.”

The old, new, borrowed, and blue. “Guess you weren’t too busy to remember,” I said quietly.

“Is the mind ever really too busy to remember things that are hurtful?”

My heart pinched at those softly spoken solemn words.

“I was thinking of my sister before,” I blurted out.

Her back moved, but then she went still once more, and I continued sewing.

“Brynne, right?”

“You remember her name?”

“She’s family.”

A lick of hot anger rose in me, and I pulled back from the button. “You didn’t know her.”

“No, I didn’t get the chance to meet her. But you loved her. And so did Rush. That makes her family.”

I started sewing again.

“I have a brother,” she said.

“You do?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah. When my dad left my mom when I was little, he took my brother with him. I haven’t seen him since. I probably wouldn’t even know him if I saw him today.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sometimes I miss him,” she confessed. “Is that strange?”

I thought about it for a moment. “No. Maybe it’s not so much him you miss but the idea of him. Knowing he’s out there somewhere but unreachable. Like the idea that I’ll never be able to be at my sister’s wedding. I miss her… and I also miss the memories we’ll never have.”

Her arm went up, and it looked like she was patting her eyes. I didn’t acknowledge it because then I’d have to acknowledge my own were dangerously close to watering.

“I’m glad we’ll have this memory,” she whispered. “Of you sewing blue buttons on my gown, filling a void I didn’t realize was there until now.”

I breathed deep and focused on the task. Minutes later, all three buttons were secured, and I laid aside the needle. “Let me make sure they line up with the clasps.”

Neither of us said anything when I did up the buttons with trembling fingers. The entire time, I prayed everything came together because my sister deserved it.

Not my sister. Jess.

When they were done, I smoothed the lace and then gave it a tug, testing the buttons. They stayed in place, the fabric staying smooth.

“The blue adds character,” I commented, stepping back. “All done.”

Gathering the skirt, she went into the bathroom to look in the large mirror over the sinks. A moment later, I heard her indrawn breath. “Oh, it’s perfect. Better than I imagined.”

There was some light sniffling. Then she appeared, smoothing the skirt to stand straight. “What do you think?” she asked. “From a designer point of view.”

“From a designer perspective,” I began. “It’s very classic and delicate. It fits your frame perfectly.”

“Really?” she asked.

“From a brother’s point of view, I’d say you look very beautiful and Kruger is lucky.”

Her face scrunched up, and she ran over to throw her arms around me. I hugged her back, feeling both broken and healed at the same time.

I never would have known those things could be simultaneous, but these past six months had taught me otherwise.

She pulled back, swiping at her eyes, and then smiled. “Thank you so much for doing this, Bodhi.”

“You’re welcome.” I glanced at the gift bag on the table.

Her eyes followed mine, then returned.

“So at the risk of ruining this moment,” I said, reaching for the gift to extend it, “I got you a wedding gift.”

Her eyes widened. “That is so sweet of you! You know Ben and I don’t expect it. Just having everyone here is more than enough.”

“It’s not for Kruger,” I said. Then, “Well, it is. But maybe you could open it now?”

“Without Ben?”

“I think that would be for the best.”

“I’m intrigued,” she said, lips curling as she reached for the tissue paper filling the top.

I stayed quiet while she pulled it all out and set it aside before reaching into the bottom. When her hand appeared again, it was full of white lace.

“Oh, it’s gorgeous,” she whispered as though she were in the presence of something too beautiful for anything louder. Discarding the bag, she unfolded the garment and held it up. It was a white lace babydoll cami. The spaghetti straps were white satin, the triangle cups for the breasts were white lace, and in the center was a white satin ribbon so she could tie it together.

The sheer sides of the cami below the breast were open and would reveal some of her navel. There was also a white lace thong to go with it.

“So, um, I hope you don’t think this is creepy.”

“Creepy?” she exclaimed. “This is beautiful!”

“But I’m kinda like your brother… giving you lingerie for your wedding night.”

She hugged me again, tighter this time. Pulling back, she said, “Did you make this?”

I nodded. “Usually, I just sketch and sometimes design stuff for myself. But when you guys said you were getting married, I just got this idea and sketched it out. I decided to make it, just to see if I could.”

“Oh, Bodhi, this is beautiful. It’s perfect.”

“I chose the tie front top so you could adjust it to your size. I didn’t want to call and ask for your measurements. Kruger probably would have toilet-papered the house, and then Em would’ve had a fit…”

Jess laughed. “I definitely see why you wanted me to open this alone.”

I wrinkled my nose. “So you aren’t offended?”

“Oh, I could never be offended that you made something so beautiful for me. Besides this dress, I’ve never owned anything so stunning.”

“You don’t have to wear it.”

She gasped, clutching the fabric to her chest. “I will! To be honest, I didn’t have anything for my wedding night. Just another thing I didn’t really have time to plan.”

This time, I hugged her because I was too chicken to look at her when I said it. “You deserve nice things, Jess. Just because your family let you down doesn’t mean you don’t deserve all the traditions and love.”

She sniffled.

“And it doesn’t matter how much something costs. Or if it was secondhand. I can say that because I’m rich.”

She snorted in my ear.

“I’m living proof that money doesn’t buy happiness. It doesn’t create meaning.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for saying that. It’s hard to say to everyone else because I don’t want to sound ungrateful. And Ben… he’d get mad and try and buy more, but…”

“Buying more won’t fix it,” I confirmed. “I know.”

“Traditions are what we make them,” she said. “And so is family.”

“Final girl!” Kruger’s loud yell announced him just before he walked through the open bedroom door.

Jess shrieked and stuffed the lingerie behind her back, then realized she was in her gown and tried to cover herself.

I launched myself at Kruger, slapping both hands over his eyes.

“Why the hell is there another man in our room?” Kruger hollered, trying to dodge my hands. “And what’s with the eye mask?”

He gasped. “Final girl, you better not be naked with some other man!”

He tackled me to the floor, and we went rolling.

My sore lower body groaned and my arms flung out, but then I slapped them back on his face. “It’s me, Kruger!”

“Malibu Barbie,” he exclaimed. “You being gay isn’t an excuse to see my wife naked!”

“I’m not naked,” Jess called from the chair she was hiding behind.

“Half naked?” Kruger considered.

“Oh my God, Ben.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to think when I come into our room and get tackled to the floor and blinded?”

“She’s wearing her wedding dress, moron,” I told him.

His face scrunched up beneath my hands. “So?”

“So you can’t see me in it before the wedding. It’s bad luck!”

“Says who?” Kruger argued.

“Tradition,” I told him. Then much lower, “Let her have this tradition, Ben.”

He said nothing, but since I was sitting on him and covering his eyes, I felt him react. “This some kind of girl thing?” he whispered.

“Mmhmm.”

He sighed loudly. “Fine. I’ll go. Take that dress off, Jess. I want to see my girl.”

“Keep your eyes covered!” she yelled, still behind the chair.

“This is absurd,” Ben muttered as we got up, my hands still over his eyes. “The things I do for this girl. A man can’t even see his bride.”

He jolted. “Hey! Why the hell do you get to see her in the dress before me?”

He swung toward Jess, my hands knocked away from his eyes.

Jess screamed and ducked farther behind the chair. “Benjamin Hayes Kruger!”

“I’m not looking, baby. I swear.”

“Cover your eyes.”

“They’re closed.”

“Cover them, Ben!” she demanded.

He sighed dramatically and put his hands over his face.

“I was sewing some buttons on for her,” I told him.

“Oh, right,” Kruger said. “Better not have stabbed her. Or seen any of her unmentionables. ‘Cause then I’ll stab you.”

“Ben!”

“I’m going,” he muttered. “I’m taking Malibu Barbie with me. Let’s go, Malibu.”

“I need to say bye to him.”

“I’ll wait,” he said, standing there with his hands still over his eyes, head tilted up to the ceiling.

Ridiculous.

Jess waved me over, and I must be ridiculous too because I climbed behind the chair.

“Thank you again for everything, Bodhi.”

“You’re welcome.”

“The wedding is even more special now because of you.”

“You know what you can’t have a wedding without?” Kruger butted in. “The groom.”

Jess rolled her eyes and then leaned in to whisper, “I’ll wait and tell him about the lingerie until after he enjoys it. Then he won’t care where it came from.”

“It’s for the best,” I whispered back.

“What’s that whispering? Y’all got secrets?” he demanded. “Secrets are the same as lies. I’ve been looking at wedding vows. It’s a crime to lie to your husband.”

“Good luck,” I told her and then left the hiding spot, grabbing Kruger by the arm on the way out to tow him into the hall.

When we were there, he dropped his hands and scowled at me. “You fix my wife’s dress?”

“It was just a few buttons.”

He stuck his hand out between us.

I glanced at him and his outstretched hand. Then I slid my palm against his.

“Thanks, bro. I appreciate you being there for her. For us.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“To me, it is. So thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I replied.

“She looks real beautiful, doesn’t she?” he asked, glancing toward the bedroom door.

I nodded. “Yeah. You’re a lucky man.”

“I know.”

“Well, I, ah, have to go meet Em. We’re getting in the hot tub.” I was glad I did this, but now I was ready for some daddy time.

Kruger nodded. “Sure, bro. I’ll be here.” Lifting his voice, he hollered, “Waiting to be let in my own room.”

Inside, Jess let out a groan.

I laughed under my breath, and Kruger smiled.