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Elite Group Chat

Rory: I just took my last exam for the semester. Pretty sure the professor’s goal was to give me nightmares for a week.

Jamie: Bro, my last exam was so hard I had to check my pulse to make sure I wasn’t dead.

Kruger: I double-checked I was in the right class this morning because the questions were all about shit I never heard of.

Madison: Pretty sure I left teardrops on the paper I just turned in, and I have another exam in an hour!

Prism: *skull emoji* *tombstone emoji*

Wes: Maybe we should all meet for trauma lattes later.

Lars: I need a triple shot of straight espresso.

Coach: You mouth breathers better maintain your GPA! Swim season isn’t over for months!

Kruger: Hell! Am I in the wrong place again?

Jamie: …Coach?

Prism: *eyeball emoji*

Arsen: *popcorn emoji*

Ryan: Welcome to the group chat, Coach.

Coach: Save it, Walsh. I saw what you said about me last week.

Kruger: You’ve been here all week?

Coach: Your grammar is horrible, Kruger. I’m getting you a dictionary for Christmas.

Wes: You’re getting us Christmas presents?

Landry: OMG! I’ve been so stressed about finals. I haven’t even started shopping!

Rory: I got a few things in Chicago when I was there for Thanksgiving, but I am far from done.

Kruger: Does no one care that Malibu Barbie added Coach to this chat without telling anyone? Also, books are not presents, Coach. They’re homework.

Prism: *book emoji* *smile emoji*

Arsen: I’ll get you a library, princess.

Max: This is the first time I’ve ever not wanted to leave this chat.

Win: Bodhi pulled a Landry.

Landry: A what?

Jamie: Never forget when you added the girls without telling a bro.

Madison: You still mad about that, bro?

Jamie: Did you just bro me?

Bodhi: This is the Elite group chat. Em is Elite.

Wes: 100%. But a little warning would have been nice.

Coach: You got something to hide, Sinclair?

Bodhi: He refused to join, and I got tired of him snooping my phone to read our messages. So I added him.

Arsen: And he says we’re the nosy ones.

Coach: I don’t snoop. I stay informed.

Bodhi: Well, do it from your own phone!

Coach: Your phone is my phone.

Bodhi: Then I guess you won’t miss yours when I toss it in the toilet.

Coach: Try me, Goldilocks. Try me.

Jamie: I’m getting you both jumper cables since you like to start shit. Madison Blair Hartley, I’m waiting for an explanation.

Ryan: Ooooh, he pulled out the middle name. This is bro-serious.

Jamie: And what would you do if my sister bro-zoned you?

Coach: You’re all getting dictionaries so you can learn a word besides bro.

Ryan: I wouldn’t have it.

Madison: We’ve barely seen each other. This week has been hell.

Jess: She’s right. We’ve all been so busy that we barely talk.

Prism: *frowny face emoji*

Kruger: Was I just lowkey bro-zoned too? Not my wife. I forbid it.

Max: She’s not your wife.

Jamie: Oh hell no. This is a bro-mergency. Ain’t no girl of mine gonna feel neglected.

Ryan: I’m calling a team meeting.

Rush: Name the time and place.

Lars: Shirley’s?

Win: I’ll stop and get trauma lattes on the way. Max will help.

Max left the chat.

Wes added Max to the chat.

Ryan: Shirley’s later tonight. Everyone be there.

Kruger: You get that, Coach?

Coach: I can read, moron.

Rush: Did you have to increase the font size?

Win: Eyesight starts to decline after 40.

Coach: Whoever told you boys to be yourselves gave you terrible advice.

Ryan: See you at Shirley’s!