Page 35

My hands tremble as I walk toward Paul’s office. I asked him for a meeting the first Monday morning of the new year. New year, new me, I guess…mostly because last Thursday, Dr. Cameron Foster was awarded the Doctor of the Year honor from the United States Medical Association, and I can no longer work with a man who’s being honored for his family values after knocking me up on the side.

In his acceptance speech, he pledged to use the grant money for medical research in the field of childhood leukemia, a matter close to Paul’s heart since he lost a sister to the disease as a child. He named Paul as one of the leading doctors on his research team.

It’s more important now than ever that I don’t allow my news to get out.

My clothes are more and more uncomfortable every day. I have maybe a month at best where I can still hide this.

The office doesn’t open for another half hour, but Paul met me here early. We’re the only two here as I set the cup of coffee I picked up for him on his desk, and he greets me with a smile. “Good morning. Buttering me up for something?”

I wrinkle my nose as I sit in the chair opposite him. “Am I that obvious?”

“You’ve brought me coffee twice in your career here with me. The first was on the day you started, so I suspect I already know what this meeting is about.”

I press my lips together as tears press hotly against the back of my eyes. I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry today…but it’s just another promise made to be broken.

I sniffle. “I don’t want to do this, but I have to. I’m officially giving you my notice.”

“Oh, Tessa. Can I ask why?” His tone is truly disappointed, and maybe that’s the hardest part of this whole thing. I love Paul, and the last thing I want to do is upset him.

Because Cam knocked me up .

“I’m moving home to spend some time with my mother,” I say instead. It isn’t a lie even though it’s not the whole truth. He’ll understand since my father just passed away last year.

He nods. “Of course. Family comes first. I’m so sorry to see you go, but I’m happy to provide the highest of recommendations to you. The hospital in Davenport is only thirty minutes from you?” he asks.

I nod.

“I believe Dr. Foster knows the chief of staff over there. I’ll see what I can do.”

I hold up a hand. “That’s not necessary.”

He looks surprised. “You won’t be working?”

I lift a shoulder. “I’m not sure what I’m doing yet. I just know I need to go back to Fallon Ridge.”

He nods. “Well the offer is on the table. Anything I can do to help you secure a position somewhere…just say the word.”

“I appreciate that, Dr. Williams.”

He smiles a little sadly. “We’ll need to hire a new nurse. Any chance you could stick around a while to help the transition since our current schedule is thirty days out?”

I nod. “That’s fine,” I say. Thirty days out is a little too far for comfort, but I can make it work.

We chat a while longer before the rest of the staff starts to arrive, and then it’s a normal workday.

Except it isn’t.

Because of the holiday, we didn’t work on Friday, so today’s the day we’re celebrating Dr. Foster’s achievement.

A cake sits in the lounge.

Lunch is provided.

We’re all supposed to sign a card congratulating him.

When it lands on my desk, I bring it to Sara.

I can’t sign it. I can’t offer my congratulations. I can’t stand everyone who walks around this office praising him like he’s some god when he has treated me the way he has.

I duck into the bathroom while Paul gives a speech about what a great guy Cam is.

I don’t eat the cake even though it looks delicious. No part of me can celebrate this man who won an award for freaking family values .

I hate him with a vengeance, and maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones speaking, but I don’t have a clue how I’ll get through the next four weeks.

Paul allows me to sit in on the interviewing process for my replacement, and together we choose a nurse fresh out of school who’s enthusiastic and ready for the job. She shadows me with my patients, and I introduce her as I let everyone know I’ll be leaving.

There are some goodbyes I don’t get to say since I don’t see all my patients in a month’s time, but I send notices via email to all the families who have been in my care over the years.

Sweet little Logan Wesley cries when I tell him I’m leaving. I hug him and his mom, and my heart breaks with sadness that I won’t see them again. He’s doing okay since his anemia diagnosis, but he’s in today with another virus.

Sara put in to take a few days off to pack up the apartment with me, since she’s moving out at the same time as me.

I’m preparing to say all my goodbyes, but it still feels like nothing can really prepare you for saying goodbye to the life you’ve become accustomed to. I’ve been working at Lakeshore for the last few years. Sara is like a sister to me—and one of the only people who knows the truth about why I’m leaving. My mother is waiting in Iowa with open arms, and I know it’ll be different this time.

But I’m stepping away from my comfort zone. I’m heading into the unknown, and it’s terrifying. I have no job, no place to call my own, and I’m moving back in with my mom after I didn’t even visit for years and years.

I just pray in another six months when the baby is here, I will know I made all the right decisions.