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I head up to my parents’ room. I booked them a suite, and I assume they’re still in it.

I still haven’t looked at my phone. I just don’t have the energy.

I knock on the door, and my dad answers. He immediately grabs me into a hug, and his wordless greeting as he holds me seems to be exactly what I need to finally let it out.

The heat that has pressed behind my eyes all day and has given me a monster of a headache finally hits the boiling point as it tips over the edge of my lids.

I’m not an overly emotional guy, but the last event that triggered tears was the first time I lost Tessa…so I suppose it’s appropriate that they come back on a day like today.

My mom comes in to hug me from the other side, and I hear her sniffle. She’s crying, too, and I can’t think of anybody in the world who could hold me up in a time like this better than my parents can. They were there for me the first time I lost her. They’ll be there for me again now, however I decide to handle the events of today.

“I was so worried about you,” my mom finally says, pulling back.

I move out of my dad’s embrace then sniff and wipe my face as I fight for composure. “I’m okay. I’m here.” I give her a quick hug, and then we all move over toward the sitting area. My parents each take a chair, and I lay across the couch.

“Where did you go?” my dad asks.

“I was suffocating in that chapel with all the drama, so I went to the only place that felt like home—the Complex,” I say, staring up at the ceiling. “I ran into Coach and he took me to his house, fed me dinner, and then he called Travis to come get me.”

“Have you spoken with Tessa?” my mom asks.

I nod. “Just came from there.”

“How’d you leave it?” she presses.

“I told her I don’t know where we go from here, but I’m staying here in Vegas a while so I can figure it out.” I clear my throat. “I want you two to stay here, too. I’ll pay for the doctors and surgeries out here, Dad. I need to be with you…but I just can’t go back there.”

“I understand,” my dad says. “And I don’t blame you, kiddo. But Vegas is your home. Iowa is ours.” He says it gently to soften the blow.

I chew my bottom lip for a beat. “You’ll keep me updated, right?”

“Of course we will,” my mom assures me.

“I can come back for next week’s surgery,” I offer. “Maybe stay in Davenport.”

My dad shakes his head. “You stay here. There’s nothing you can do back home anyway.”

We’re all quiet a beat, and then I remember what Coach told me. “Coach Thompson said the brass approved my extension.”

My mom yelps, and my dad’s eyes widen as he sits forward in his chair.

It’s been a hard day, and this gives us a good reason to celebrate.

“He did?” my dad asks, wonder in his voice.

I nod, but I don’t move from my position laying across the couch.

“I think this calls for a drink, son,” he says, and he glances at my mom, who nods. “Let’s all go downstairs a while.”

“I don’t feel much like celebrating,” I admit.

My dad stands and towers over me—an unusual occurrence given that he’s five inches shorter than me. “We’ve had a string of shit news lately, and we finally have a reason to celebrate. Now get your ass up and come have a drink with your parents.”

I can’t help a laugh as he grabs my arm and yanks me up, and then the three of us head downstairs for drinks and slot machines.

Later, I fall asleep on the couch in their hotel room.

My parents have seen all the sights in Vegas, so on Saturday we hit their favorite spots, and I stay at the hotel with them one more night. When Sunday morning arrives, it’s time to say goodbye. I walk them down to the lobby, and we find Tessa standing there with her mom.

I don’t look at her. I can’t.

I’ll fold if I do, and maybe that’s the right thing to do. Maybe I should just give into the pull I’ve always felt toward her. Maybe we really do belong together.

But the cut is still fresh, and I still don’t know how to deal with the lies. I’m not sure I’ll ever have an answer to that, but I need some time away to think it through…because if I don’t take the time away, I’ll never give myself the space to really figure out what I need. I can’t think rationally when I’m around her because the connection between us just constantly pulls me back into her orbit.

I guess I need to find out who I am and what I’m made of before I commit to a life with her.

I should have done that anyway. I got so excited about the possibility of forever with her that as soon as my divorce was final, I jumped right into things with Tessa.

I haven’t given myself the space to heal those wounds yet, either.

And so I’ll take a little time away to rediscover who I am…to do right by myself.

I say goodbye to the four people in the lobby, saving Tessa for last.

“I don’t want to leave,” she whimpers as I give her a hug. I do my best to keep it friendly, but she clings to me, and I don’t want to let her go. “I’m so scared.”

“I know,” I whisper back. “I am, too.” And then I forcibly pull back from her.

The car pulls up just then, and my parents and Janet all rush to get their luggage toward the back so the driver can heave it in.

It gives Tessa and me a minute alone.

“It isn’t goodbye forever, right?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I admit.

She grabs my hand and squeezes it, and then I wave to the group of them as I walk away.

I can’t watch as they duck into the back of the car.

I can’t watch as it pulls away.

I can’t watch as Tessa leaves with a piece of me. I guess I won’t know whether I need that piece or not until I experience this fresh new life without it.