Page 17 of Vampires of Eden

“Are you okay?” Raphael’s voice is gentle in the enclosed space. But it jerks me into another spontaneous fit.

“I need a minute.” Without a glance, I push the passenger door open and am once more enfolded in the blustery and frigid air.

An urgent need to run pulses within my gut. I don’t have an objective as I walk toward one of the narrow alleyways separatingtwo shops just opposite the small parking lot of the café. It’s dark there. Private.

Soggy flakes pelt the skin of my face and neck as I walk. They litter and dampen my hair and stick to the wool of my coat as it flutters in the icy wind, but it doesn’t matter. When I’m in the isolated space, I stop dead and inhale a breath—gulping the heavy, cold mist flooding the atmosphere.

Turning, I lean with my spine and head rested against the brick wall. I look up toward the overcast sky.

What am I going to do?

Is this my life now?

Is this all there is?

My insides churn and darken. The devastating wave of rejection, failure and distress swells and fills my chest, heart and lungs. It makes my knees weak and I crumble, running my fingers into my hair as I sit hunched in the alleyway.

I feel so… useless.

Stupid and wrong.

A failure.

I breathe and somehow, slowly, the cold becomes soothing. The winter night, the snow and frigid temperatures prove more powerful than these emotions, so I let it all wash over and distract me. Welcoming it.

Eventually, I wipe my face, stand and pull myself together enough to walk back to the car. When I’m inside, the heat is on and there are paper cups in the holders.

“Tea,” Raphael says, “from the bar. Drink.” He picks up the cup closest to me and pushes it into my hands. “You look like a vampire popsicle.”

“I feel like one,” I say quietly, holding the warm cup between my palms. Suddenly, I’m numb inside. All I want is a shower, my bed and my cat.

As I sip the hot liquid, I’m waiting for Raphael to put the car into reverse so that we can head back to the estate, but he doesn’t.Instead, he stares out the windshield and we sit in comfortable silence for a long moment.

“We could leave, Lexie, if you want to? Properly run away.”

I scoff, staring at the side of his freckled face in the warm darkness. Raphael’s features are more boyishly cute than handsome. Soft over sharp. Playful, despite his age. He says it’s because his bloodline mix is too human and not enough vampire, but I disagree. His genetic makeup is perfect as is.

“Where the hell would we go?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. But if you wanted to get out like Oliver did, I’d help you. I’d go with you. You know that.”

Sighing, I look out at the surrounding buildings. Tasteful brick façades juxtaposed against shining glass radiating with soft, welcoming lighting. Sculpted holly bushes layered with fresh snow.

Beyond the shops, my gaze scans up toward the rolling hills. The houses dotting the night with their electric glow amidst the overcast moonlight.

“I’m not leaving Eden,” I say. “It’s my home and I belong here. I’m not keen on some big adventure to foreign lands. I just… don’t want to be tied to an asshole vampire five times my age.” That randomly licks people without their consent and calls it a “princely sample.” Ugh.

“See?” Raphael says brightly. “This is more evidence that you and Oliver were ill-matched. Oliver yearned for travel, but you aren’t nearly as interested. And, turns out, he wanted a vampire five-times his age! That was exactly his type. If you had been Lord Cherrington’s age, he would have been all over you?—”

“Just shut up, alright?” I roll my eyes because I don’t need this. He’s not helping. “Do I have anything particularly important on my schedule tomorrow?”

Raphael considers. “Not ‘particularly’ important. Brunch with the poker brats, then dinner and a cocktail party at the Wyndham Estate to celebrate their daughter’s engagement. Your parents are going, so your presence isn’t mandatory.”

“Perfect. Cancel my attendance and block out my schedule when we get back, please?”

Finally, Raphael puts the car into reverse and glances around, backing out of the parking space. “Alright, but what are you going to do instead?”

“Nothing. Maybe I’ll go for a drive.”