Page 69

Gabe

G abe gripped the steering wheel with tense fingers, his mind only half-focused on the flood of words coming from the little vampire next to him.

Jay was gushing about all the various foods he’d gotten to try in the hospital cafeteria, which—given the twelve hours he’d had to experiment with—was apparently quite a lot.

He was currently reviewing the different merits of every single type of candy from the vending machines.

Gabe could only assume one of the lesser-known vampire superpowers was not getting a belly ache from too much junk food.

For his part, Gabe was fighting to keep his eyes open, trying his best to get himself and Jay home in one piece.

Work had been beyond exhausting, and he was just done .

Two of his patients had tried to die on him that night, and he’d had to run codes on both of them.

One had made it through the CPR, the other…

Well, the other hadn’t.

Gabe knew—he knew —it was the way it went sometimes. He knew there had been an amazing team of healthcare professionals working to keep them alive, and that sometimes that wasn’t enough. But he still hated it with every fiber of his being.

It felt like losing. He hated losing.

And he was glad of Jay’s company; he really was. He was especially glad having a chaperone had let Soren feel comfortable with him going to work. But, sweet as the dark-haired vampire was, he wasn’t who Gabe wanted next to him after the night he’d had.

Gabe wanted Soren.

He wanted his vampire’s soothing touch. Wanted his easy understanding of Gabe’s messy emotions. He even wanted him calling Gabe an idiot for expecting to win every single battle of life versus death in the ICU.

But Soren wasn’t with him. Soren had better things to do than babysit, apparently.

Gabe wasn’t sure exactly what Soren had gotten up to while he was at work.

He’d told Gabe he wouldn’t feed on anyone else, but…

surely he’d gotten restless, stuck in that house with Gabe for days on end?

Maybe Soren needed some variety. Maybe he was second-guessing so much time spent with one boring human.

Or maybe he just needed a little space to breathe and spent the day crocheting a new outfit and running with the mutt. Maybe you’re just being an incredibly insecure, clingy mess , Gabe’s brain taunted.

He sighed, fingers clenching the steering wheel. He was being incredibly insecure. Maybe he could talk his vampire onto his lap again for dinner. Or…breakfast? Gabe was never quite sure what to call his presleep meal after a night shift.

Whatever he called it, Gabe wanted to cuddle Soren while he ate it.

Ferdy greeted them at the door, whining in distress. Gabe rubbed the dog’s ears. “What’s up, pup?”

“Hello, dog,” Jay greeted from beside Gabe, waving at the puppy. He apparently hadn’t spent much time around animals in the past, and he was still trying to figure out what he called “pet etiquette.”

“You’re home.” Soren’s voice sounded from the living room.

Gabe rushed in, not caring if he seemed overeager, but he stopped in his tracks at the sight of his vampire sprawled out on the couch.

Soren’s clothes were mussed, his blond hair was in disarray, and…his entire face was covered in blood.

He looked like a fucking horror B movie extra.

Soren greeted them with an ironic wave, his pale eyes oddly blank. “Oh, don’t worry,” he drawled, gesturing at the mess. “It’s not mine. At least, mostly not.”

“What the fuck happened to you?” Gabe was aware that his voice was too loud. He didn’t know why he was even asking the question… He knew the answer already. There was only one person out there Gabe knew of who would want to hurt Soren. Only one who would even be capable of it.

Well, two, if you counted Lucien, but that psycho fuck hadn’t shown his face in over a year, so Gabe didn’t really think he would randomly decide to show up and wreak havoc now.

Gabe walked carefully over to the couch, kneeling in front of Soren’s reclined body. “Baby.”

Soren’s eyes softened, some of that blankness leaving them. “Highness.”

“Where are you hurt?” Gabe did his best to gauge the damage with his eyes, but the blood all over Soren’s face was pretty distracting.

Soren shrugged in response. The movement brought attention to his right shoulder. His shirt there was torn, the flesh mangled—it looked like he’d been mauled by a fucking animal.

Gabe cleared his throat. “Did he…drink from you?”

“No,” Soren answered softly. He was staring at Gabe, like he couldn’t get enough of the sight of him. “He was just aiming to damage.”

Gabe felt a small amount of solace in that—Danny had told him bites between vampires were a form of intimacy, one that Gabe was sure Soren wouldn’t want forced on him—but it was hard to manage too much relief when his vampire was still clearly injured.

Fuck.

Gabe was used to thinking of Soren as practically invincible. Hearing about his past wasn’t the same as seeing the evidence. This was the same little monster who’d chased off Lucien, despite being practically half the other vampire’s size.

Soren reached out a hand, tracing Gabe’s cheek lightly. “You’re an ICU doctor, Highness. Haven’t you seen worse?”

Gabe shook his head. “Not with someone I care about. Not since—since my dad.”

When Danny had been attacked the year before, Roman and Soren hadn’t let Gabe see him until he was cleaned up and presentable. Apparently they’d been worried Gabe would have a “complete and utter freak-out meltdown,” as Soren had put it.

Gabe had to admit their caution wasn’t totally without merit.

Soren sighed softly, his finger still mapping Gabe’s face. “It’s just the shoulder, really. Plus a couple broken ribs. I was waiting for those to heal themselves before I washed all this off.” He gestured at the blood covering his face.

“I’ll grab a cloth,” Jay offered from the doorway. Gabe turned with a start. He had forgotten Jay was even there.

The other vampire seemed relatively unfazed by Soren’s bloody visage.

This was the same Jay who’d apparently had his mind blown by—and had gushed for over fifteen minutes about—the different flavors of Starburst candy.

Gabe didn’t want to think what his blasé attitude over Soren’s appearance meant for what the two of them had seen together in that fucking vampire den.

Gabe turned back to Soren. His vampire was grinning broadly. That same smile Gabe had once found so unnerving became even more so with a blood-streaked face. “Why are you smiling?” Gabe asked gruffly, wondering if he should be concerned about a brain injury. “You look like fucking roadkill.”

“I fought back,” Soren answered gleefully. “I fought back this time.”

“Is this a ‘you should see the other guy’ kind of thing?”

“No.” Soren’s smile dropped, and he pursed his lips. “I broke his nose and bruised his balls, but those are probably all healed up by now. But still.” He grinned again. “I’ve never stood up for myself with him before. Not like that.”

It hurt Gabe’s heart to hear. “Why did you this time?”

Soren opened his mouth to answer but closed it again when Jay came back in with a wet washcloth in hand. Gabe took it from the vampire, wiping off Soren’s face with it, careful to use gentle strokes. Bedside manner was more Danny’s thing, but Gabe could be gentle, if he needed to be.

He could be gentle for Soren.

Gabe still only half believed his vampire didn’t have cuts of his own under the mess of blood. But Soren’s clean face was coming through unbruised and unbroken.

Beautiful.

Soren watched him through the whole process, a tenderness to his gaze that had Gabe’s chest aching.

When he’d cleaned Soren’s face as best as he was able, Gabe set the filthy washcloth aside. He wasn’t sure where Jay had gone, but that wasn’t really his concern right now. “How are your ribs?” he asked.

Soren shifted experimentally on the couch. “They’re fine now.”

“We should get you washed properly. I don’t want any of that asshole’s blood on you.”

Soren huffed at him. “Well, I don’t either. Obviously. Take a bath with me?”

“You’re—“

“I’m fine,” Soren reassured him, rising into a sitting position. “For once, I’m the one who wants cuddles.” He shot Gabe a smirk. “Take advantage while you can.”

Well, when he put it that way.

Gabe let himself be led upstairs.

Gabe ran his fingers under the water, testing out the temperature. He tried to ignore the way his hand was visibly shaking under the hot spray. The swirling knot in his stomach was back with a vengeance.

He was feeling too many things—anxious, angry, frustrated—to settle on any one emotion, other than just “bad.”

The thing was, Gabe knew his tried-and-true response to this kind of mess of feelings: avoidance.

It was what he’d done with Danny and his mother—interact only with surface-level emotions, deny anything negative, push anything and anyone away that threatened to go deeper.

But Gabe didn’t want to do that with Soren.

He didn’t want to be that person.

For so long, he’d put all his focus on being capable at work, on being a person his patients could rely on, but…no one else. And that just wasn’t fucking enough anymore. Gabe wanted to be someone the people he cared about could count on.

But…what if this turned into another full-blown panic attack? What if it happened in front of Soren, and then the person Gabe should be comforting became the person comforting him instead? Gabe couldn’t protect Soren physically; he couldn’t be strong for him emotionally. What was the point?

Useless. He was useless.

“Highness?”

Gabe turned to find Soren standing in the doorway, a towel slung low around his hips. The vampire had rinsed off in the master bathroom shower, trying to get the rest of the blood off before their bath. He was so beautiful, even with the painful sight of his mangled shoulder on full display.